What up fam? I was sitting here procrastinating cuz im oh so good at it.. and decided to watch the Smurfs.. let's just take a minute and thank the BOOM Network for showing some of our fav cartoons from back in the day.. (now if they ever air Jem and the Holograms Imma act a got dayum fool and never leave my couch..ya heard?!)
Anyhoo..as I'm watching.. I started noticing some ish...soo I thought I'd bring it to ya'll and see if u can help answer my questions about the Smurfs:

1. Remember Smurf Cereal.. why they stop making that ish?

2. Remember the Smurf Glasses with the different smurfs on em?..I think Hardees used to have them..matter of fact.. where the heck are mine?!

3. Do you think Smurfette was a hoe? I mean she was the ONLY chick in the village...im just saying...

4. Who bred all them damn smurfs?

5. Why come Papa Smurf got to wear red?

6. Was this a damn cult he was leading ..cuz why everybody else gotta wear white?

7. Why come they aint got nametags?

8. Why come they don't have nipples?

9. What kind of animal/mammal/reptile/ creature is a smurf? they have tails.

10. WTF did Baby Smurf come from?!

11. When Baby Smurf gets older...does his/her name change? To Grown Ass Smurf?

12. I think Papa Smurf was a bit incestious dont u? **side eye**

13. Was he everybody's daddy? Or just Smurfette's "DADDY"? lol

14. Seriously.. where did Baby Smurf come from.. Smurfette was never preggo.. or was she?

15. Did the Shroom houses mean they were all druggies?

16. Wtf named these smurfs? Greedy, brainy, clumsy..why they can't have names like Mike, Tito, Jackie, Marlon and Jermaine ..normal names that I can remember..hell..

17. Im thinking they dont wear drawz...nasty blue mofos.. what u think?

18. Smurfette's dress was more of a tank top, u think she got cold? and why come she always had on heels..dont her feet hurt?

19. Where did Brainy get them glasses cuz im almost positive there aint no optomestrist in the village or a drugstore...or is there?

20. Why come there wasn't a rapper smurf? that would have been fun. blink. blink.

So any help ya'll could give me by answering this for me would be fab..cuz im concerned LOL. and don't act like ya'll aint NEVERRRRR thought of this ish.. its just funny how u can watch a cartoon now that you watched when you were a kid and see it completely different.. anyhoo..

Stay ON A THOU!
~Meik

Whats up fam? As I was checking my email's and came across one that needed volunteers for the school system..it reminded my of a story from my first day as a volunteer at a local high school...


This bout to be a bumpy ride..so hold tight...

I decided last year to start off my new year the right way by doing something I had never done...volunteering without being forced to..

Volunteering as what Meik?

Volunteering in the school system...Meik loves the kids..(well..some of em)..

My first day volunteering and I am picked to be on a panel of judges to judge senior projects...apparantly students pick their topics in their sophmore years and work on this project throughout the junior year and then put the finishing touches on it and present it their senior year. (gawd help me if i'd had to do that ish in high school but i digress)..

The idea of presenting the projects to a panel was supposed to go like this:

1. Present a letter to the judges that explains who you are and your project.

2. Present your project with powerpoint slides, and finish with a product

3. End presentation and answer questions.

Simple enough huh?

Now...here's where I have issues..these kids have had a couple years to get this ish together and EVERY presentation I sat thru from 9a until 130p looked like they threw it together the previous week. One in particular stood out to me...

His project: Women in Politics...great topic right? especially with the 2008 election...

Now most students dressed for the part...suit and tie, dresses..ect..this lil big mofo (yeah lil cuz he young, big cuz he well...big) had on baggy jeans, and a big t-shirt that came to his knees and LONG fingernails..ugh...and big azz earrings.

His powerpoint ....black lettering on purple background...umm we can't see that ish..so he proceeds to stand at the computer and read word for word...well u know me..im like what is this ish? everytime the word should say WOMEN it says WOMAN..so for example "WOMAN IN POLITICS" and he continues to read it just like that..

So after we ask him to talk to us rather than read , its clear he has no idea what his project is on b/c he is talking about voting rights and slavery. WTF...so I ask him why he didnt include Palin or Clinton in this project and he blinks at me for about a minute....then says..well i didnt decide to do this until after the election.

blink.

blink.

blink.

WTF? u had 2 yrs to do this...u have the most historical election EVERRRRR and u dont include ish on it??!!

So he pulls out this board with newspaper clippings and ish on it...so im like ok..tell us about it..

blink..

blink..

blink...

ummmmm well these woman are in charge.

WTF? WHO???

he repeats it for each picture and i want to f'in scream.

Finally I say...umm well, how does this project tie in with the new governor elect bev perdue.

He says "well..it means woman are stepping up".

blink.

blink.

IS HE SERIOUS???

At this point im done. and so are the other judges.

I ask you, how is it students like this are getting promoted to the next grade. This is a senior that has every intention of going to college...but how will he make it if no one takes the time to sit his lil big behind down and teach him and correct him?!

Its just sad..so I think God put me in the right place to help these kids..cuz lawd knows they gonna need it...

So today's lesson: volunteer... you never know someone might just need your help..think about it..did you get to where you are without some sort of help?


...don't talk about it..be about it...

~Meik

Fam.. sometimes I just wonder why I even bother stepping outside my house..
Well.. Today I decide on my lunch break to venture over to the Dollar General.. and I know dayum hell well that this one is a lil hood-listical at times..but eh..its the closest one to the job..and I needed to get some ish..
So I had on a Tshirt today that reads: SWAGGA: A mode of dress, having great taste in fashion, a person's DISTINCTIVE style and confident presentation of self.

***note the key word here is DISTINCTIVE***

Ok.. now that we got that out of the way.. let's proceed..

So as I'm checking out...my cashier looks like Precious' smaller sister, complete with a lil ponytail (which why do folks do that ish, if you don't have hair..the ish is NOT meant to be pulled back into a ponytail.. then its just a ony.. clearly...missing some ish..anyhoo i digress..)

So we'll just call her Lil Precious.. she leans over and says : "what you shurt say"? (im writing as if she's talking so now imagine the accent and ish)

I say..its the definition of Swagga..its an old tee.. hell i just threw it on..

you'd think she'd stop.. but no..just b/c my name is Meik...the ish continues..

Lil Precious says..: hmmm mode of dress, having grape taste in fashion, a person's da- da- da- DA-STINGUITIVE style.. that right? DA-STINGUITIVE?

blink.

blink.

blink..

now.. I aint no fool.. I can't fight worth a dayum and this heffa is huge and I'm in a hurry so i just co-sign and say Yeah girl.. that's exactly right..

(dont judge me..hell her english teacher is at fault not me!)

Lil Precious then says: well.. sometimes it be hard to get all dem sylla-bulls out dont it?

Me: Yes chile..I know.. that Da-Stinguitive ish is a rough one.. i know exactly what you mean. (i told ya'll i aint crazy..i just keep on co-signing with her)

Lil Precious: DA-STINGUITIVE.. i like that.. imma get me one of dem shurts.. where you get that at?

Me: Charlotte Russe or Rue 21..

Lil Precious: Where dat is..

Ok at this point I feel like I'm Sherri Shepherd in the dayum movie and i just refuse to finish this got dayum convo .. so I just say at the mall and have a fab day..

i hate ignate ish. i think a lil part of me should hate myself for co-signing on this ignorance..but i just couldn't help it.

Lesson Learned:
Don't wear shirts that require mofos to read..cuz some cannot read.. that is all.

What's up fam...as most of you know..writing is my outlet when I can't really verbally express how I'm feeling..so bear with me..I gotta get these thoughts out..so it maybe a lil all over the place..

I've always been the type to never really let anyone get too close, and yet I learned at an early age how to hide behind the mask and pretend everything is okay..

years later.. its really not okay.. the proverbial shit has hit the fan and my life as I know it will probably never be the same.. but the funny part is, I can remember every single night laying in my bed with my headphones over my ears begging God to fix it and He never did (and no this aint got ish to do with some sexual abuse before u get it twisted..).. and now, while there may be light at the end of the tunnel, it's weird.. Im not comforted by that..

I think its because for so long I didn't let anyone in to let them know what was wrong, and now that I need someone to talk to, listen, hear me scream, cry, curse and whatever else.. no one is there. All of the memories, all of the angst, hurt, pissitivity, regret ect is boiling over now, and ....i dont know..

I guess what I'm trying to say is keeping ish bottled up for so long only hurts you in the end.. unfortunately, I still don't trust anyone enough to start from the beginning and spill it..

On the other hand, I've always been big on redirecting my focus onto other things..hence probably the reason im always all over the place, blogging, writing, school, work, side hustling and anything else..just so i dont have to be alone with my thoughts..

I'm not even sure where I'm going with this blog anymore.. but I do want to reach out and thank every single person that reads my blogs, articles, crazy tweets, facebook, and myspace statuses.. You may not realize it, but every encouraging word goes a long way.. and right now.. I need that more than you know.. so Thank You..

~Meik.

What's up fam..
When I'm a lil down and out, I usually read and what better material than my own ish? Anyhoo.. In honor of Eastland Mall closing in Charlotte.. I thought it's only fitting to post this blog.. enjoy!!

*****************************
July 2008

If you've been following my blogs then you already know...shyt ONLY happens to me...and this lil story would be reason 5thousand gazillion and one on why i need to just leave the news biz and run like hell..

If you live in Charlotte..then you know that Eastland Mall is in a hood fabulous area and basically if u aint wearing a bullet proof vest...then u need to stay your azz out from over there...and of course the day i dont have mine ...shyt wanna pop off...

So I'm back on the assignment desk today and we hear on the scanner that there's a shooting at Eastland Mall...okay...whatever...that aint nothing new...except..our only folks that can shoot the video are over a freaking hour away on another story. So that leaves guess who to go to the hood at freaking 630pm on a saturday night?...

no...go head..just guess...

I'll wait.

blink.

blink.

u got it...MEIK.

Soooo I load up, and high tail it out there..and pray that I dont get caught in the crossfire of anything but just in case, I call my sister and parents and bid them a goodbye LOL...(and wouldnt u know a certain fool only cares about what I have of hers on my body? and my dad is threatening to tear the streets up of the queen city if one hair on my head is harmed but didnt answer when i tried to call him back later LOL..but that's a whole nother blog) ...so soon as I get to the parking lot..Security Guard Senor Rodriguez or whatever his name is comes flying towards me screaming WE NO NEWS...WE NO NEWS...and he tells me to go over to the bus stop and that I can shoot my video over there...I look over to the bus stop and think awwww shit. It's packed with hood fab folks and here i go tossin this long azz hair with a camera and these mofos gonna act up...suprisingly..they were the tame ones.

So I do what I gotta do..but not without problem number one...the f'in tape is raggedy and wont let me record..so im hyperventilating inside thinking at any moment one of these mofos gonna knock me out and take my camera and stuff...thankfully Meik carries a lil of everything in her purse..so I just happen to have a spare tape in there LOL..dont ask..

Problem two..everytime I point the camera in another direction ole Senor Rodriguez drives that f'in security jeep in front of the shot and parks that biatch there and gets out and keeps saying WHAT YOU SHOOT? ugh..i hates me an ignorant mofo.

So I take about 10 min to get a few different angles, talk to the Mall Manager, and then Im thinking...good...now get the F outta here...

So i pick up my tripod and high step it as fast as I can in my wedge sandals LOL...and damn..almost home free to the truck.

One of the ugliest mofos I have ever seen in my f'in life pulls up and flings the door open to his jeep and he's blocking me...and you got it..he's f'in African and wearing the most hideous brown and tan velvety outfit (it's f'in JULY..aka HOT AS SHIT OUTSIDE)...and he's got the matching Stacey Adams and face just greased to high heaven.

damn damn damn.

So I do what any self respecting girl would do...turn the f around and throw that camera on the tripod and act busier than a mofo LOL...

but u know..just cuz its me..that shyt didnt work.

He slinks over and is breathing down my neck wanting to know what I'm doing and who i work for..NEVERMIND THE F'N TRUCK HAS OUR NAME ALL OVER IT AS DOES THE CAMERA..gawd i hate mofos.

Then he keeps telling me (with every last tooth in his head chipped off) that I look good and he wanna meet me..ummm am i mistaken but aren't u in my face now? So I tell him I'm engaged and he's looking for the ring...u know i got an answer right? Oh ......I dont wear it when Im working LMAO..gawd i hate myself sometimes.

So as I'm trying to get away from him...this van creeps up and im thinking great..now im bout to get my f'in head blown off during a drive by and Senor Rodriguez is nowhere to be found and this african is still thinking he has a chance in hell with me..

The window rolls down and its two old white ladies...whew..right?

They ask me what happened..and I tell them a shooting just went down and then they ask me if its safe to go in...the f'in african butts in with yes its safe..and im like i wouldnt recommend it...

Granny in the driver seat says..."Oh we can go in..I got something for them"..and she leans over and Im thinking oh how cute..she got some mace or some lil cute something to scare the bad men away so i lean in a lil bit so i can see...

and this mofo whips out a gawd dog gone gun...

my black azz grabbed the tripod, camera and threw the deuces...

BUT the african just wont let me gooooooooo...DAMMMMMMMN!!!!

He's busy asking me can he call me , take me out, visit the station, make me leave my man ect and I'm throwin the shyt in the truck and he's still talking and I'm like DUDE I GOTS TO GO..NICE MEETING YOU...and roll out.

I was so f'in shook by that lil ole white lady and that gun LOL..and I cannot for the life of me understand why mofos that have a chance won't talk to me but the mofos that should gawd dog gone no better are the ones that are persistant as hell..UGH. I had another run in later but I cannot blog on it until I get my nerves together....I digress ...

Lesson Learned:

FOLKS IS CRAZY...nuff said.

Stay Fantab and keep a supply of nerve pillz nearby!

What up fam? I was digging thru my bag of blogs and came across this one I wrote in 08 and well hell frankly i find it funny LMAO.. so i needed a good laugh and thought i'd share with ya.. enjoy!

***********************************
December 2008

Gawd. I hates me a begging mofo. Well..I hate all kinds of mofos..but especially the begging kind...

Take for example...I gave my number to this fool tryin to be nice and because he just moved to town and didn't know anyone..because apparantly nowdays u can't fool mofos by giving em a fake number b/c they wanna call your phone right then and there to make sure u gave em the right number...ANYHOO..so i warned him, that im a busy chick so i don't always answer the phone ..leave a message and when i remember i'll get back to u..MAYBE.

Well...few hours later..he calls...I missed the call and forgot to call back...then the text messages start...so I respond to the first couple...then say munk it..he's annoying...so i tell him i work 24/7 (most mofos can take a hint..but not this one)...he proceeds to text me his life story..im talking bout how he up and moved with no money, has no job, no friends, blah blah..yeah i know..i sure know how to pick em lol...

So I put him on my ignore list...and he faded into the sunset for a couple days..then two days ago, the calls started up again..one time he caught me off guard and i munked up and answered the phone but i told him i was at work and hung up..

Fast forward to a few days later..he calls and I figure..lemme just tell this fool point blank...we can't even be friends. So i tell him..the whole..its not you , its me b.s...and then tell him i met someone and all that jazz (ok i lied..but hell..) so he says:

"Well can't u just give me a 30 day trial?"

blink.

blink.

blink.

Mofo...this ain't no shyt u buy and return to the store..WTF? Naw. Hell naw.

"Well..a 20 day trial? I mean, we can be friends for a couple days then it can segueway into dating"

blink.

blink.

blinkblinkblink...

Naw. I don't think this fool gets it.

"Well, how bout I bring you some lunch, I mean you just tell me where you work and I'll bring it to you."

Nucca..I don't eat.

"Well...how bout we just meet up, hang out, and just become best friends?"

Ok..at this point im like why am i still on this gawd dawg phone...so since im in the store..i find some paper..crinkle it up and tell him i can't hear him ..its static or something and hang the f up.

Gawd.

What kind of world are we living in that mofos gotta resort to begging?

Get some self esteem bout yo'self. hell.

I just don't understand. I WISH I would BEG a mofo when I can clearly see they aint interested...

I blame Steve Urkel.

Why Meik? well...he worried the hell out of Laura til he got her..even if he did have to alter himself to do it...hell. I don't get it..and its makin my head hurt dealing with the triflin-ness that is in the queen city...

Lesson Learned:
Be up front and honest from jump and well hell..
Don't give out the digits...EVER.


Keep it classy!
~Meik

What's up fam?
I know you're wondering if I've turned all nice and inspiring and ish..but no.. I'm still me.. but every now and again, I run across someone that inspires me and I want to put the spotlight on them to allow you, my readers, the opportunity to realize that the world doesnt just have MOFOS running around.. there are some good ones and with that said..

Allow me to introduce to you a man that really honestly needs no introduction, or rather shall I say allow me re-introduce a familiar face with a voice we all came to know and lust after I mean love..
Take a stroll back with me to the mid 90's.. "Come See Me", "Cupid", "Peaches and Cream", "It's Over Now"...ring a bell?.. yessir.. 'twas the days of the group 112.. and one fourth of the grammy award winning group is stepping out into the spotlight...Meet Daron Jones. (I'm imagining applause here like this is my talkshow..just lemme have my moment!)

I had the opportunity to sit down and talk to Daron, and let me just say he has got to be one of the must humble individuals I've ever had the pleasure of speaking to, and with his credentials, he has every right to have a BIG EGO.. but he doesn't and that definately saves him from my mofo list! lol..

So who is Daron Jones? His answer was quite simple and can be found on his new single "Money".. : He's the self proclaimed R&B Godfather the ONLY Don Da Da.. he's also a singer, musician, songwriter, and producer. Now before you get it twisted, Jones explains, "The Godfather title is something I came up with to claim. It's just like Michael Jackson is the King of Pop, T.I. is the King of the South, you have to put it out into the universe and claim what you want to be, alot of artists do that."

Alot of people have no idea how extensive his resume is.. as I was reading it even I had to say, dayum you did all this?! He's responsible for my anthem: Keyshia Cole's "I shouldve cheated", as well as a string of hits from artists such as the late great Notorious BIG, 112 of course, R Kelly, Usher,and Jamie Foxx just to name a few. With all that being said.. after being behind the scenes for the past few years..its his time to shine!

Daron Jones new solo project is titled "Uncensored"...

Now before you draw any conclusions, Jones says "The title comes from me coming into this business at the age of 17 and having to do what I was told and being musically censored. I'm grown now and as a solo artist I can stand on my own, can get whatever I need to off my chest and speak out using my voice and be uncensored."

While most of you are used to his image with 112 being the "Gentlemen of Bad Boy"..he's taken on a new direction and simply being himself. "The main difference you'll find is in my lyrics, they are bold and its a fusion of all of my musical influences that range from gospel to jazz to hip hop," says Jones. While "Uncensored" isn't out in stores yet, you can get a taste of the single "Money" on itunes..(hell I liked the song so much it's my ringtone hint hint)..

This multi-talented brotha is also the CEO of DPS Productions in Atlanta. DPS stands for Definition of Platinum Sounds, a full service production company/music label. DPS already boasts a roster of several artists including his sister Sunni Jones, Courtney Michelle, Premier, and Charlie D.

I do have to say that Daron is one inspiring brotha because of his journey to stardom and one thing he reminded me that will stick in this thick head of mine is something his mentor told him... "You have to be prepared for major dissappointments, but you just have to be prepared to keep moving forward."

The lesson here: There's gonna be some No's and doors slammed in your face, but Dedication, Hard work, Faith.. that's the recipe for success.. Jones is proof of that..

Daron's solo project is expected to be released this summer..so soon as it drops.. GET IT. that is all.

For more info: @daronjonesmusic on twitter and facebook.com/daronjonesmusic

Fam.. I decided against having Redd do the funeralization for my beloved potholder..but many of you wanted to know what happened..so teary eyed and all..here goes.

It was a dark and warm night out.. oh hell I'll skip the specifics.. anyhoo..I was hungry when I got off work.. decided I wanted to eat some fries and since a mofo had me all bent out of shape on the phone I forgot to stop at Wendy's.. SOOOOO I decided to throw some in the oven.. yummmm!!

In the meantime..I see on twitter my FAV U-streamer is live from the ATL so i decide let me tune into that.. while i wait. Well, all of the foolywang silliness on there kept me tuned in.. it was funny, and entertaining as hell.. and i couldn't look away..

well i finally remember oh hell im still hungry and i smell the fries.. so i run downstairs to get them out of the oven.. (damn near 30 min later..lol) and open the oven, and b/c im still sniggling hysterically, I somehow manage to DROP the ish and fries flew everywhere.. well my first thought was.. SAVE THE FRIES!!! A MOFO IS HUNGRY!! so i fling the pan ontop of the stove.. and pick up the fries off the floor ..(dont act like u dont know the 3 second rule).. and in the meantime.. im guessing the potholder (sniff sniff) slid into the oven during all this flinging ish and junk and i closed the oven door..cuz im still acting like Precious and her last meal on earth and all.. well i decide hell f this.. im dumpin the fries in the trash..lemme make a new batch.. i open the oven door..and FLAMES FLAMES FLAMES are EVERYWHERE..

OH HELL.

I of course am the one producer that works in news that dont pay any attention to the ish i write daily on fire prevention and all that bull issssssss

so i figure im not tryin to get my hair SWINJED off (like joe jackson said happened to michael during the pepsi commercial) so i commenced to blowing at the flames like its a birthday cake cuz i needs my hair...

well thank gawd that ish worked...meanwhile the smoke detector does work and commenced to beepin and workin my nerves..house smokey as hell yet i manage to jump right back online to tell my ustream fam that they made me suffer a LOSS..
well..there's not much left to my lil potholder.. sniff sniff

I am distraught..house still smells a lil chargrilled.. and I am in MOURNING. the end.

I'll miss you potholder!! We went thru so much together..your cousins (the matching towels) won't be the same without you! Smooches....

Lesson Learned: DO NOT WATCH ish live on U-Stream and try to cook ish.. you will be laughing and singing and won't get ish done LOL.