Just another day in the newz biz

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

What's up fam..
When I'm a lil down and out, I usually read and what better material than my own ish? Anyhoo.. In honor of Eastland Mall closing in Charlotte.. I thought it's only fitting to post this blog.. enjoy!!

July 2008

If you've been following my blogs then you already know...shyt ONLY happens to me...and this lil story would be reason 5thousand gazillion and one on why i need to just leave the news biz and run like hell..

If you live in Charlotte..then you know that Eastland Mall is in a hood fabulous area and basically if u aint wearing a bullet proof vest...then u need to stay your azz out from over there...and of course the day i dont have mine ...shyt wanna pop off...

So I'm back on the assignment desk today and we hear on the scanner that there's a shooting at Eastland Mall...okay...whatever...that aint nothing new...except..our only folks that can shoot the video are over a freaking hour away on another story. So that leaves guess who to go to the hood at freaking 630pm on a saturday night?...

no...go head..just guess...

I'll wait.



u got it...MEIK.

Soooo I load up, and high tail it out there..and pray that I dont get caught in the crossfire of anything but just in case, I call my sister and parents and bid them a goodbye LOL...(and wouldnt u know a certain fool only cares about what I have of hers on my body? and my dad is threatening to tear the streets up of the queen city if one hair on my head is harmed but didnt answer when i tried to call him back later LOL..but that's a whole nother blog) ...so soon as I get to the parking lot..Security Guard Senor Rodriguez or whatever his name is comes flying towards me screaming WE NO NEWS...WE NO NEWS...and he tells me to go over to the bus stop and that I can shoot my video over there...I look over to the bus stop and think awwww shit. It's packed with hood fab folks and here i go tossin this long azz hair with a camera and these mofos gonna act up...suprisingly..they were the tame ones.

So I do what I gotta do..but not without problem number one...the f'in tape is raggedy and wont let me record..so im hyperventilating inside thinking at any moment one of these mofos gonna knock me out and take my camera and stuff...thankfully Meik carries a lil of everything in her purse..so I just happen to have a spare tape in there LOL..dont ask..

Problem two..everytime I point the camera in another direction ole Senor Rodriguez drives that f'in security jeep in front of the shot and parks that biatch there and gets out and keeps saying WHAT YOU SHOOT? ugh..i hates me an ignorant mofo.

So I take about 10 min to get a few different angles, talk to the Mall Manager, and then Im thinking...good...now get the F outta here...

So i pick up my tripod and high step it as fast as I can in my wedge sandals LOL...and damn..almost home free to the truck.

One of the ugliest mofos I have ever seen in my f'in life pulls up and flings the door open to his jeep and he's blocking me...and you got it..he's f'in African and wearing the most hideous brown and tan velvety outfit (it's f'in JULY..aka HOT AS SHIT OUTSIDE)...and he's got the matching Stacey Adams and face just greased to high heaven.

damn damn damn.

So I do what any self respecting girl would do...turn the f around and throw that camera on the tripod and act busier than a mofo LOL...

but u know..just cuz its me..that shyt didnt work.

He slinks over and is breathing down my neck wanting to know what I'm doing and who i work for..NEVERMIND THE F'N TRUCK HAS OUR NAME ALL OVER IT AS DOES THE CAMERA..gawd i hate mofos.

Then he keeps telling me (with every last tooth in his head chipped off) that I look good and he wanna meet me..ummm am i mistaken but aren't u in my face now? So I tell him I'm engaged and he's looking for the ring...u know i got an answer right? Oh ......I dont wear it when Im working LMAO..gawd i hate myself sometimes.

So as I'm trying to get away from him...this van creeps up and im thinking great..now im bout to get my f'in head blown off during a drive by and Senor Rodriguez is nowhere to be found and this african is still thinking he has a chance in hell with me..

The window rolls down and its two old white ladies...whew..right?

They ask me what happened..and I tell them a shooting just went down and then they ask me if its safe to go in...the f'in african butts in with yes its safe..and im like i wouldnt recommend it...

Granny in the driver seat says..."Oh we can go in..I got something for them"..and she leans over and Im thinking oh how cute..she got some mace or some lil cute something to scare the bad men away so i lean in a lil bit so i can see...

and this mofo whips out a gawd dog gone gun...

my black azz grabbed the tripod, camera and threw the deuces...

BUT the african just wont let me gooooooooo...DAMMMMMMMN!!!!

He's busy asking me can he call me , take me out, visit the station, make me leave my man ect and I'm throwin the shyt in the truck and he's still talking and I'm like DUDE I GOTS TO GO..NICE MEETING YOU...and roll out.

I was so f'in shook by that lil ole white lady and that gun LOL..and I cannot for the life of me understand why mofos that have a chance won't talk to me but the mofos that should gawd dog gone no better are the ones that are persistant as hell..UGH. I had another run in later but I cannot blog on it until I get my nerves together....I digress ...

Lesson Learned:

FOLKS IS CRAZY...nuff said.

Stay Fantab and keep a supply of nerve pillz nearby!

You Might Also Like


  1. This is my first visit to your site and I find it very enlightening! I needed a laugh this morning and got it. You are hilarious! I'll be back!!

  2. Thank u FabMom.. i really appreciate it!!

  3. OMG!! My dog is looking at me like I'm crazy 'cause I'm sitting here by myself laughing out loud. Ha. Love your sense of humor. So glad Heather told me to start following you on twitter!!! Thanks for all the laughs!

  4. Jana lmao...idk if heather told u but i dont have a dayum bit of sense LMAO


Mofo Favs

Mofo Followers