What's up Mofo Fam?!

Don't even start..I know I'm triflin, we have established this time and time again, but yet here y'all sit with the judge-y eyeballs because a sista don't blog much these days. The point is, I'm here now, so let's all just embrace it and rejoice!

But you know, sometimes I wonder why I even respond when folks slide into the DM's--that's direct messages for the social media challenged, and for the even more short bus challenged, that means INBOX.




What happened Meik?

Oh I'm glad you asked!

Once-ta-pon a time I wished upon a star that THE ONE would grease his legs up with shea butter or cocoa butter and slide into my DM's and we'd skip happily ever after into the sunset.



But since it's me, YOU KNOW it doesn't work that way. It's usually the ones that I just cannot even fathom ever meeting in person.

Why Meik?

I'm glad you asked, because I decided to give a couple of helpful hints to keep my attention if you should slide into my DM's because after all this should be a pleasant experience for both of us..right? Before anyone gets their draws in a knot..this is just a blog.. take it as you will..if you are offended..well.. I'm pretty sure I don't care. :)

1. Spell check is your friend!
Nothing grates my nerves more than someone trying to holla at ME--the person that writes ALL DAY LONG and you have everything including my name and yours spelled wrong. Don't get me wrong, I understand that sometimes when typing, you may hit a wrong letter or two, but if EVERY SINGLE THING IS MISSPELLED..lawd go away! I get that you are trying to shoot your shot and want me to know that you are worth meeting, but telling me how you aren't "shollow" just makes me wonder if you fell and bumped your head on the way to your keyboard. IDK WTF that means.. shy and hollow? I don't have time to decipher what you are TRYING to tell me. I am BUSY.



2. If you don't know the right word..don't use it.
For example a brotha slid into the DM's asking me this "What do you like to get from the CONFESSION stand at the movies?" Well I can CONFESS I bring my own snacks but I'm sure that's not what you meant. See where the misunderstanding starts?



3. If I say NO.. I mean it. Don't keep tearing up my nerves asking repeatedly. No I don't wanna talk on the phone, no I don't wanna go out, no I don't wanna do ish but teach you how to spell! Anyone that knows me knows I'm like a brick arse wall. Too high to get over, too low to get under, so your arse will be stuck in the middle like an MJ song.. trying and trying and trying and I'll still keep saying NO.



4. Y'all... sliding into the DM's...I assume you are single, but I also know that most often that ain't the case. Be honest, don't wait til I say no to start posting pics of your new bae the next hour... cuz that probably ain't a new bae, it's the same bae that's been around and your arse is just triflin for sliding into someone's DM's trying to shoot a three pointer.

5. Lastly, please have more to say then "hey beautiful" or "hey sweetie".. first of all, I ain't your sweetie, you don't know me and I don't like bae names from someone I don't even know and have had ZERO interaction with. Yeah I'm an arse but I'm not for games. Hell, half the mofos that try that spell it SWEATIE so there's that.



I need intelligent INTERESTING convo to keep me interested, no small talk, instead make me laugh (and not just with your misspellings), and don't try to look at my pics and ASSume what I wanna hear. BE YOU!

I hope these lil pointers help somebody before sliding into DM's all across the social media spectrum. It's a shame more love connections aren't made over miscommunication and misspellings. I want us all to prosper outchea!

Shoot maybe I need to shoot my shot and slide into the DM's first.. see what happens!



What experiences have y'all had in your DM's? Anybody found love on a two way DM street?

As always I'm looking for guest bloggers! No I can't pay you but you get to blog on here with me and have folks think you are just as ignate as I am LOL! If interested..hit me up!

~Meik

Tis' that time of year where the weather will be turning cooler, and you'll need someone to keep you warm. I've invited guest blogger Sha to school us on the rules for a successful "cuffing season!"

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“Hey Stranger,” text messages are in full effect right now…..Why? Because we are in the midst of Cuffin Season.

What is Cuffin Season? It is not to be confused as a quest to find a long term permanent relationship, but recognized as a temporary cuddle buddy/cut buddy season for the fall and winter months.


Before beginning the search for a Cuffin Season partner, one must be honest with themselves and their partner or partners, and understand that you absolutely CANNOT develop any feelings. This is a temporary situation that comes with guidelines, and a cutoff date. As we all know, all seasons come to an end, so save yourself heartbreak and understand there will be an end as soon as it gets warm.

You can find one person to rock with for the season or you can juggle a team. It’s whatever your inner Thot is screaming to be for the cold months, you decide.
Nevertheless, let’s get started on what this season is about……

Let us navigate the above chart to break down the above listed dates.

September 4th, Draft Day – What this means, start with your roster of potentials. I suggest starting with a team of 3, no more than 5. This is when the initial applications should be submitted to even determine if they are even worth the time. A sample application:



September 6th-September 19th, Training Camp- This is when you narrow down your choices, by getting to know your team a little bit better. Whether it is cup caking on the phone via phone calls and texts, going out on dinner dates, or whatever your screening process might be, start utilizing this time to see which of these candidates you could see yourself with over the next few months.

September 20th, Preseason Begins- At this point, you should have some people or maybe one person who is really at the forefront of the race. You’ve really got to narrow things down at this point, and start figuring out who the lucky winner or winners is about to be. Continue to put in work and getting to know the potentials, but steer clear of those feelings, because you can’t catch any.

October 18th, Preseason Ends- You’ve had a little over a month now to figure out who you truly want to rock with for the cold months. This day also subsequently is Sweetest Day, so your decision should be made at this point on who the lucky winner is to be your Cuffin Season mate.

On Sweetest Day, one typically gives gifts of candy, Hallmark Cards, or flowers to their loved ones, but in the Cuffin Season Game, you want to give your final candidate or candidates something to symbolize what the cold winter months are going to be like with you.

Suggested gift ideas: love coupons (customize these coupons to partake in fun activities during Cuffin Season, be creative), create a romantic CD (include a playlist of songs that will be relevant to what you want to go down during the season), and who doesn’t love a home cooked meal (cook a meal that shows that you can do more than cuddle/cuff). The whole point is, you want to show your finalist or finalists that you have picked them as your winner; this is equivalent to submitting your final application for approval.

October 25th, Final Roster Cuts – Now that you’ve turned in your final application aka your gift, the recipient has had time to think about and review your submissions. You then find out if the feelings are mutual and you have your final roster for your top picks.

November 5th, Free Agency- If there is the sad possibility that you have no potentials or anybody on your roster at this point you’re going to have to hustle, and put in some speedy work to find someone. Hopefully you started out with 3 to 5 candidates so you won’t be in this predicament, but if you find yourself here, you have to quickly find someone or revisit some of the people who were on the roster from the beginning. Life throws curveballs sometimes, your application could have been rejected, just use this time to figure out for sure what’s about to happen, because your time is running out.

November 12th, Trade Deadline- This is the absolute last moment to get rid of people if you need to, make adjustments, add someone new to the roster, or remove someone from the roster.

November 16th, Season Begins- This is when the season officially begins, you’ve selected your person or persons to begin Cuffin Season with, and you’re set. I suggest making sure you have a clear understanding of what this means with yourself and your partner or partners. What I mean is, set clear guidelines on expectations so nobody gets hurt or expects more or less. You can have more than one person on your team for the season, so you’ll have to establish the days you spend together, what you plan to do when you spend time together, and when the season is going to end.


Imperative questions to ask your Cuffin Season partner:

1. Will we be going on dinner dates, if so will we take turns paying the bill, will we go 50/50, or will we go dutch?
2. What days of the week will we spend with each other during the week? If you have more than one Cuffin Season partner, you’ll need to juggle what days of the week you’ll spend with each partner, so that there is no confusion, however if you have more than one partner, understand you are a borderline Thot.

3. Will we be exchanging Christmas Presents? (I suggest no, but you can if you really want to, you can, just keep it inexpensive).

4. Will our dates consist of home dates and sex? It’s pretty much understood that this is going to be your cut buddy, so of course make sure you keep it safe, but beyond that, establish if Netflix and cooking are going to be the main things you do, if that’s the case then being with someone that knows how to cook is probably going to be key.

5. Will we be exchanging Valentine’s Day gifts? (It doesn’t hurt to give some candy or go out to dinner; after all, this is someone you have been spending a lot of time with).
6. What are the rules on social media? You don’t want to post pictures of the other person or tag them on social media if they don’t want this relationship to be public. This is a temporary situation, similar to how things are if you are a side chick or a side dude.

When do you want to end the season?

April 1st, Season Ends- This date could possibly be altered depending on the agreement you have with your partner or partners. This should be discussed as stated above.
Now that the Cuffin Season is over, it means that warm weather is approaching, and you’re back to going out with your friends and mingling. Now there is an off chance that you and your Cuffin Season partner, or one of your partners have developed a real relationship, and have chosen to make things permanent. Anything is possible.
Come September, if you find yourself alone again and you don’t want to weather the season alone, then repeat the above steps, and start the Cuffin Season over again for 2015. You can make your own rules along the way, the main focus is to have fun, don’t catch feelings, and establish a relationship with someone to keep you entertained and warm during the cold months, so get to cuffin!

-Sha
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So, ladies and gentlemen, looks like you have some cuffin to do! Good luck!!

-Meik