Stuck on Lionel Richie

Two words: Lionel. Richie.



*insert squeal* I MET LIONEL RICHIE!

What happened Meik? How did it happen? WHY it happen??

I'm so glad you asked.

First IF LI-NEL comes to your city.. GOOOOOOO see his show.. it's like a freaking mega karaoke session since everybody knows all of his songs. Trust me on this. You won't regret going--er.. well you might if you aren't a fan of shawt armed Cee-lo, but just get there after his set mmk?

Now onto Friday night.. like any person that gets tired of going out, I have become a homebody and best friends with Netflix and my On-Demand channels and I can't forget thousands of my twitter friends. So with my AKA sorority sisters in town for Boule, I decided it's time to be social because it's not like they live here and I can see them any ole time right?

We meet up for drinks and our party dwindles down to two and frankly I have had enough of latin jazz night at Blue, so I suggest that we head over to the Ritz Carlton to see if they have live music and mingling going on.

Mind you, I'm 3 ..or was it 4 martinis in, and feeling nice. I'm also pretty sure I shouldn't be mixing alcohol with the mofo'n medicine I am on for my leg, but that's another story for another day.

So we end up sitting next to the bathrooms and near the lobby, because the place is packed. It's dark, there are black folks everywhere but the music is niiiiiice. So I'm twerking in my seat and I look up and see a light skinned man that resembles nobody other than Lionel Richie.

Nawl.. nawl.. nawl.. that can't be him. My mind's playing tricks on me. Besides, his concert was in Charlotte on Thursday and surely he would have already left town by now. IT CANNOT BE HIM. He is getting closer, and I'm squinting trying to get my dry arse contacts to focus. He gets a little closer and there's a white dude with him that I assume is either in the band, his manager, or well he was too small to be anybody's bodyguard, but hey, you never know I guess.

Ebony and Ivory are right by us and I say ..OMG..THAT IS LIONEL RICHIE!!

Of course, nobody listens to me everrrrrrr... (case in point, I kept telling my friends Chuckii Booker was on stage with Li-Nel..I recognized those deep arse dimples anywhere..and what do you know.. Li-Nel introduced him a short time later.. folks gonna listen to Meik Meik one day. Another example.. I KNEW I saw the lil dark skinned dude from Camp Lo at a bar once..nobody listened but I went right up to him and said I know you.. you from Camp Lo..and lo and behold it was Sonny Cheeba.. I BE KNOWIN.)

Anyhoo back to the story.. my soror and two other ladies sitting there look at me as if I have lost the absolute last bit of sense I was born with. Okay, so maybe I have, but that ain't the point! THAT IS LIONEL RICHIE!

I jump up---well the best I can with my leg, and say THAT WAS LIONEL RICHIE THAT JUST WENT INTO THE BATHROOM!!!

I high tail it over to the entrance to the bathrooms and post up on the wall. My soror signals that if it's him to let her know and she is ready to take a pic. A little indian girl slides over beside me and I'm like "did you see what I saw?" She nods and whispers Lionel. YAAASSS I'm not crazy!! But wait.. not one person in the Ritz bar area paid him a bit of attention. Maybe they thought oh, that's just another light skinnTed Charlotte negroid trying to look like someone important, or they thought who the hell is that cat daddy and why is he wearing them tight arse pants? Either way..nobody else has spotted him.

TMZ ain't got ish on me I tell you. Maybe I can get a job there since nobody else will hire ya girl.

Anyhoo..the door opens..some dude walks out. ugh YOU ain't Lionel.

Door opens again.. another random walks out. YOU ain't Lionel either.

FINALLY..door opens again and Lionel walks out..I nod frantically at my soror who is quick on her feet and manages to get over there within 2 seconds.

"Mr. Richie, Lionel, heyyyy can we get a picture?"

"Sure, really quick tho"

He grabs me and lil indian girl and we are in the same pic and I tell him thru my smile that I work for SoulTrain.com and he turns to me and says "No Kidding?! That's great!" *faints* Li-Nel is ahhhhh-maaazing.

Now for 65 years old, Li-Nel ain't got no wrinkles nowhere..tho I guess if I had his bank account, I would be looking like a Commodore until I was 100 years old. He's also not the 6'2 man I thought he'd be in my head, he's probably more like 5'9 but who cares..

All I can think is..OMG..OMG..THIS IS LI-NEL RICHIE..MICHAEL JACKSON'S FRIEND!!!!!!!! *insert fan girl moment*

When I tell you it did not matter to me one bit that he just came out of that bathroom and I didn't know or care if he washed his hands. Hell as far as I was concerned, I could have Li-Nel pee on my shirt and I would still be in 7th heaven. Judge me if you want to.

I gather my thoughts quickly and say Mr. Richie will you take one more pic for me..and he turns and says sure realllly quick. Snap.. pic taken.. I tell him thank you and that his concert was absolutely the best ever and amazing. He turns to me, and with the grace and humbleness of someone just starting in the biz, rather than a man of his stature and legendary everythang, grabs my hand and says thank you so much, I appreciate it really I do.

OMG OMG OMG HE LOVES MEEEEEE!! no wait..that's Idris Elba that loves me.

Then someone else stepped in his way and he said, "by the way, what's going on in here tonight?" Someone said, "it's just a regular Friday night in Charlotte".. I'm thinking, THE HELL YOU SAY.. LI0NEL RICHIE IS HERE!! THIS AIN'T REGULAR!

All I know is this, Lionel didn't have to entertain us with even one pic or conversation, but he was super nice and friendly. I understood his reason for saying take the pics quickly, because he didn't want other folks to catch on that he was there and then they'd start wanting pics and autographs. Just as fast as he was there.. he was gone. I swear he vanished into thin air like Michael Jackson did in Remember the Time. I'm telling you, I never saw him walk out the door or get on the elevator. WHERE DID LIONEL GO?!!! Thin air. He probably paid for a thin air vanisher with all that money he has. Hell, if I was him, I wouldn't even be on tour, I'd be walking to my mailbox daily to get my checks and chillin by a pool or something.

Lesson Learned: Keep your mofo'n eyes peeled.. you never know who you might see. You gotta move fast to get what you want. Next step.. calling his peeps to hopefully set up an interview *crosses fingers* .. I haven't calmed down from this not one bit..I feel like "Dancing on The Ceiling" "All Night Long!!"

What's your favorite Lionel Richie song? This one is in my head right now so I thought I'd share..come on 2 step with me!



Until Later..
Meik

A Mofo'n Test and Lessons Learned

Posted by ~Meik on , , , ,


What's happening Mofo-villians?

Many of you know..or hell don't know.. or even care to know that I had surgery last year to remove some pesky fibroids (uterine fibroids are in and of the debbil and can cause all kinds of drama internally and make your body think you are pregnant among other things..hence my addiction to Ben & Jerry's peanut butter banana fro-yo but nevermind that)

After the surgery.. I suffered from nerve damage in my left leg... for the slow folks nerve damage can consist of numbness, pain, both, weakness in the leg, limited function. Now don't get me wrong, I don't need a wheelchair..or a hoveround.. I can walk. Thank goodness for physical therapy and my determination to not let this beat me. At one point I was dragging my leg, couldn't hardly lift my foot off the ground, and nevermind being able to tell if I nicked my leg shaving unless I saw blood. Due to me having to alter my gait and the way I walked, I then developed bursitis in my hip..oh joy..the hits just keep coming right? Fast forward to a year later.. I can walk but have just a slight limp, sometimes carry a cane when I have to walk long distances, and I can lift my foot/leg a few more inches off the ground than I could before. My hip only hurts on the rare occasion that I do something to make it hurt. (get ya minds out the gutter nassy folks!)But the most annoying part of the nerves waking up and regenerating? The pain. Most of the time, I can tolerate the aching in my leg, but when that ish starts to feel like someone has a knife stuck in my leg or foot.. I have to call on Jesus and all the disciples to help me thru it. My point.. I am dealing with it.

Why are you telling us this Meik?

Good question..hell if I know..maybe to help someone else that's going thru the same type of problem, or maybe to remind myself how far I've come.

When are you getting to the rant Meik?

Oh..here it is..

I am SO tired of hearing "why don't you go out anymore?" "why don't you come to this club or this party?" "you're never going to meet anyone sitting on the couch." ....and on and on.. I say this to say.. I get out and about..but only I can determine what my leg feels like and if I want to waste my gas to drive somewhere only to turn around 10 min later to go back home because standing on it is driving me insane or hell it just flat out hurts. That's not the only reason. I cannot bar hop much less do a soul train line and I refuse to take this cane to the club. Chile bye. I'm shallow at times. I know this. You know this. My self esteem has taken a bit of a hit because once upon a time my pride and joy was my legs, my cheerleader muscle-infused legs, now while nobody else may notice, I know that my leg is not what it used to be and will it ever be? I don't know.. maybe not. I can't wear my heels.. I have been reduced to wearing flats, and in my head sometimes I think nobody is going to want someone with a janky arse leg, not to mention the weight I've gained from the multiple medicines that the doctors are shoving down my throaK--but hell f em. But I am grateful that I do have my legs, and while I may not be able to do the things that I once loved like riding a bike, skating or even twerking on one leg down a soul train line.. I still can walk and get from point A to point B and while it may take me longer these days.. it's better than not being able to at all.

No longer do I ask WHY ME? I interviewed the singer Will Downing once and he told me something very important..he said , you are going thru a test, and you have to learn the lesson from that test, and once you do, then you will pass it. I couldn't figure out what the lesson could possibly be in not having the use of my leg 100%, all I could focus on is not being able to wear my heels, and not being able to pick up the phone to call my grandma to whine, and not finding a man to love me for me in my flats.

Months later it hit me.. the lesson that I learned was this: I never took the time to slow down and really look at people and have empathy for what they go through until now. I always made assumptions and wanted them to hurry up and get out of my way because I had places to be. Now, I understand their struggle. My grandma always told me to focus to on the good and it would make me forget just how bad things are. So I turned my attention to my writing and interview skills and ultimately got in the door at a magazine that I have been sending ish to for months. I was offered a paying blog on a site that I used to write for FOR FREE. See what I mean? I got over the pity party and focused on other things that I needed to develop. Maybe this was God's way of sitting me down to do it. I'm still a work in progress and just because you don't see me out and about much.. gimme time..I'm still working on my self esteem and trying to make these flats go with the outfits that still fit!

Thanks for reading :)

~Meik

Blog Tour..and we rolling.. rolling

Posted by ~Meik on
They don't call it CP time for nuthin and in true fashion and form..I am late as hell posting my portion of the blog tour.




I was asked by my fellow blogger/writer/online friend Leesa of Chilltown TV Fame to participate in a writer's process blog tour (well challenge cuz clearly I have issues following directions.) The initial tour started with her friend journalist/writer Janet Stilson.

What's the purpose Meik?

Well..I'm glad you asked ...

As the writer/blogger you answer four questions about your craft and introduce your readers to three new writers. So... here goes nothing!


WHAT AM I WORKING ON: Initially I was working on a web series that is loosely based on my blog, but I have reached a big arse block and it's too high to get over, too low to get under..therefore guess what.. you got it.. I'm stuck in the mofo'n middle. I am still grinding writing for SoulTrain.com and most recently Carolina Style, and taking on a new project by writing for another magazine that I will discuss later after everything is finalized. In between ALLLLLLLLLL that, I occasionally come over here to dust off this blog and help you get a couple of sniggles to make it through the day.

HOW DOES MY WORK DIFFER FROM OTHERS OF ITS GENRE: I think it has a mofo'n touch of sarcastic humor and I try to paint a picture so that the audience feels they are right there with me on that journey. In my interviews and articles, I try to tell the person's story in a way that lets you see them as more than a voice on the radio, or a face on the tv screen, and make them more humanized if that makes sense. Hell, these days, social media just ruins our vision of how celebrities are viewed.. go read Tyrese's tweets then lemme know if you still like him. I'll wait.

WHY DO I WRITE WHAT I WRITE? Initially I started blogging as a way to get out my frustration and hurt from a bad breakup, then I started seeing the response to it as I kept blogging about jumping back into the dating pool. Little did I know that I would STILL be in the dating pool, but most folks can still relate, and each incident I have learned a lesson that I like to share and hope that people can receive that message and lesson as well, as well as take away a little humor from how I came to learning that particular lesson. I write anywhere from dating stories, to my views on relationships, random things I see in the news or while people watching. It just depends. As for the types of folks I love to interview, I really love talking to the folks that paved the way and laid the foundation for music/entertainment..I don't want their stories to get lost, because for most, the internet was not a huge thing when they were on top and they are navigating the waters of social media. It's also cool to talk to the folks that I grew up listening to. I shoulda been a singer but God didn't give me that talent so there's that.

HOW DOES YOUR WRITING PROCESS WORK: I honestly don't have a process. If I think about the ish, then I write it. I don't write a rough draft of a blog..I just write. As for the web series, I wrote notes, and fleshed out the dialogue and let folks read it for feedback and got busy rewriting it. Same for interviews/articles..I do my research and put pen to paper..the end.

Finally, here are three writer friends who I think you should absolutely check out...they either inspire me.. have no sense.. or both LOL. jk..

1. Cheris Hodges---this chick is a BOSS.. she writes the heck out of African American romance novels and still finds time to be a freelance journalist, and blog and spotlight other authors on her website..make sure you check her out.
http://www.cherishodges.blogspot.com/


2.Jarvis Holliday --I can barely keep up with this dude. He's a freelance journalist that does it all.. He writes for Charlotte Magazine with his Charlotte Nightlife Blog to keep us all posted on the happenings every week. I like to call him my social planner (clearly, I just keep coming out the house..which means good news for y'all ..more blogs..but blame him mmk)
Anyway..check him out right chea..
http://www.grownpeopletalking.com/

3. Mizz Bea--she is what she calls a bridge builder, fist in the air social justice fighter and lover of hip hop. She's also a public relations machine as well. Check out her blog here: http://www.beawilliams.com/journal/


And a bonus one b/c I know so many great writers..I can't possibly leave out anyone.. (tho for the rest you can always check my blog roll!!)

*bonus* Ms. CM Writer is a woman of all trades. She's an attorney, an authorESS, a blogger, and consultant. She writes her own column and keeps us up to date on men's points of view on relationships, fashion, and good eats. Make sure you check her out also..
YourBoyfriendsBestGirlfriend.com


So.. the rules are now you post this on your blog and name 3 more writers and keep the tour going!! You have 1 week to post! :)


-Shameika

Lemme buy you a drank

Posted by ~Meik on ,
*sigh* One of these days.. I swear fo gawd I am going to lock myself inside my room and never come out.



What's shakin Mofoville???? What's wrong Meik?

I'm so glad you asked! Have you ever decided to step outside your comfort zone only for it to explode in your face? Just me??

Friday night I decided to attend this touring show called The Great Love Debate: Why is everyone still single?? .. and you can read my recap right here on the Carolina Style Magazine website about the things I took away from it http://carolinastylemag.com/2014/05/17/men-vs-women-the-fight-to-end-being-single-in-the-queen-city/

Anyhoo..after the event we all headed down the street for a mixer, because after all we're all single, and allegedly looking to mingle right?

So.. I head over with a friend and she introduces me to some dude that I recognize from the event that stood up to express his opinion about how to approach a woman.. it didn't impress me then and he sure wasn't really impressing me now, but I'm stepping out of my comfort zone remember? He tells me he is going to school to be a producer/director..I tell him what I do, he informs me that he is also a barber and rambled off a few other jobs, but I stopped breathing momentarily because his breath smelled like hot dog water mixed with fried bologna.. ewww sir what you been eating?!!!!




Anyhoo..so we continue chatting about..hell I don't know..I think I lost consciousness.. so once I can turn my head to gasp for air.. he then says "Can I buy you a drink?" So I see this as my escape for air.. sure.. let's go to the bar.
Well, my friend that had promised to drive me to my car has to leave so she tells yuck mouF to make sure I get to my car safe and sound. He assures her he will and I'm giving her the WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME look but she clearly isn't paying me any attention.

I turn to the bar and he's leaning over me talking.. I just wanna slide to the dayum floor and rock in a ball. I grab the menu and bury my head in it, he leans over asking me about the drinks and says "You should get the Apple Martini--it's the special.. and it's $7." I say, maybe but I really like the creme brulee martinis here because no other place in the city makes them like this. It's $10. He says okay, let's both get one. So we order. He tells me that his ex wife's bday was in September and I say oh mine is in September..he says "it's my destiny to be with a woman born in September"...




Do what?!!!! mmmk. Bartender hands us our drinks. I turn to talk to this lil elderly german lady behind me because during the event she said she knew why white men don't pursue black women so I had to ask.. she informed me that it's because the white baby looks up at it's mother while breastfeeding and sees a white face and because they love their mother so much, they won't pursue a black woman. Hmm. Does Robin Thicke know this ish? That whole theory alone is just pure utter foolishness but anyhoo... this ain't the point of the story.. dude taps me and says ummmmmm "she says it's $22 for the drinks".. me: okay.. thank you. I turn back around and the lady has walked away. I turn back to the bar to get my drink... I hear him asking the bartender.. "Is that $22 A PIECE ..like PER DRINK??" *sigh* Bartender says no.. it's the total. He whips out a crumpled $10 bill and a $1 bill and says ummmmmmmmm and sideeyes me.
"what is the problem?"

Him: She said it's $22

Ok we've established that.. so pay her.

Him: *looks at his crumpled up money and back at me and back at the money and back at me*




sigh.. I'll pay for my own drink..

He starts to put his money up and says are you sure??

YES. I WILL PAY FOR MINE!!! You need to pay for YOURS.

Him: oh, so..

I hand over my card and pay for mine.. add a tip.. done.. sipping carefree trying to figure out how to ditch him..

I mean..how you gonna offer to buy me a drink if you don't have barely enough to buy your own?

He informs me that he has to go to the bathroom.. I think thank gaaaaawd now I can ditch him and go on my merry lil way..

I saw him a few minutes later breathing dragon fire into some other chick's ear..

Fellas.. and ladies also.. hell EVERYBODY..if you don't have the funds.. don't offer to do ish you can't afford.. it only embarrasses you and makes you look like a Mofo. Not to mention, you won't be getting the digits either. My guy friends said this mofo probably thought this was how you get a chick to buy a drink but listen..he got the right one..cuz I didn't need his arse to buy me a drink and I certainly was NOT about to purchase his..mmmk. Shenanigans like this..is exactly why I'm STILL single. I didn't need the Great Love Debate to answer that for me.

So have you had this experience before?

This song seemed appropriate.. kinda..





y'all stay classy!
Meik

Ain't too proud to beg mofos

Posted by ~Meik on , , ,
Oh Mofoville.. what a tangled web mofos web when they try to deceive..




Uh oh..what's wrong Meik?

I'm so glad you asked. I KNOW I can't be the only one that has stumbled across the panhandling on social media sites. KNOWING dayum full hell well in a hand-basket with lit newports and gasoline that these mofos ain't trying to raise money for some "woe is me" type of cause.

What happened Meik?

oooooh but I'm so glad you asked!

Well, there are several examples..let's start with the few that I have heard rumblings of from people..

---Mofos hitting up everyone they can think of that has a job on Facebook by telling them a "oooh I lost my job and my bills are piling up can you help me by donating $1000" type ish.. ummm you don't get unemployment or ...???

---Or I'm raising money for my child's basketball team.. but it's not basketball season tho..oh well see..what had happened was.. we raising money to take them on a trip to Disney..can you donate $2000--- chile... bye. What happened to the chirren selling candy for this stuff??

---Or my personal favorite..hitting up folks in their inboxes for gas money because the time it took you to search thru your friends list and type out that message a gazillion times, you could have been gone down to the blood center to donate plasma to get up some gas money chile.. and how you paying for internet??

---Or.. the I'm sick and shut in and can't pay my bills.. umm but weren't you just out and about a couple nights ago posting pics twerking and popping on a handstand ..you didn't get any funds for showing your arse then??

---I'm getting married and can't afford the ish I want for the wedding..can you donate money so I can put down payments on the ish? You betta carry your arse down to the Justice of the dayum Peace and save up for that wedding you claim you just have to have.. if that's all you want then perhaps you should re-examine wtf you are doing engaged..ok??

---the most recent one--sending out messages to folks that you have offended on multiple occasions that you have NEVER met and asking them to help you get out of a sticky arse situation like oh IDK.. carrying your arse thousands of miles away from home because YOU have finally found some poor suspecting heffa that likes you and then you find out ish just ain't going right and her mammy hands you less than $50 and tells you to carry your arse back to where you came from..now you need help purchasing a one way ticket home..but to soften the blow you inform folks that they CAN contribute to the total cost of less than a $200 ticket... *blink blink blink* (yes this one has me puzzled) and can anyone help fund this trip because you don't have a job, and as long as some folks have known you..well truth be told, you ain't never had one.

You want ME and my pockets to do what?!!!




JEEZUS FIX IT!

First one.. EYE personally would NEVER ask folks I don't dayum know..ain't never met for money to get MYSELF or MY FAMILY out of a situation that I CREATED. I would exhaust all avenues, like going to other family members, trying to get a loan from the bank, put ish on a credit card, go give plasma, pawn some ish, do something strange for a lil change before I sit my arse in front of my computer and type out a message begging for money for MY bills. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I don't know about y'alls pockets but Meik Meik don't work to pay for other people's bills or the sticky arse situations they get themselves into. I don't work to fund bogus arse trips, weddings, funes, sick and shut in funds, or any of that unless I know it's a legit cause. Now lemme say this.. if you are seeking funds for a legit project on kickstarter or one of those sites, that's different because you aren't just trying to take mofos on a ride..especially if you have the product to back it up and you are actually TRYING to do some ish.

Second one.. Do folks think before they hit enter or nawl? I'm gonna go with nawl, they just don't dayum think but yet they come up with an idea that random strangers will want to help them out of their drama. chile bye.

Third one.. I see nothing wrong with friends starting a fund or asking for help if they have been hospitalized for a long time and it's the truth and they need help with grocery cards or meals cooked..that's a LEGIT reason..but if you just asking for food cuz your food stamps ain't got there yet.. you betta learn to stock up on ramen noodles for your times of need cuz I don't feel sorry for folks that are able and just refuse to help themselves.

Fourth one.. Do any of these pity messages even work??? I'm gonna assume they do because mofos keep doing it.. they are just as bad as the mofos that stand off the exit ramps on I-77.. and are there really folks dumb enough to give these mofos credit card info or bank info or send wire transfers cuz..




My point is.. quit relying on strangers to help you out of a jam that probably could have been prevented. Mofos lost their monkey rabbit arse minds outchea in these social media streets.. you have to help yourself before anyone else is going to even remotely think of helping you. Scamming someone will get you nowhere but probably behind bars at some point.

Have y'all had crazy messages like this hit your DM's or inbox??

-Stay Classy

Meik

Love and War or Divorce

Posted by ~Meik on , , ,


April showers bring May flowers and the warm weather brings out the mofos that forget they are still married.

What you mean Meik?

Well, I'm glad you asked.

Once upon a time, there was a man that put his ring in his pocket, and decided to pretend he was single for the night. Man meets girl, woos her , buys her drinks, and ends up hunching her..and hunching her..and hunching her (not all in the same night..well..if he's good maybe..but you get the point) and as girl falls head over heels, she realizes she never sees him on holidays, never sees him after 9pm at night, and certainly doesn't talk to him on the phone late at night..why?? The mofo is STILL MARRIED.


Now that we have that ugliness out of the way..let's take this a step further. Let Meik Meik tell you about the time I dated a man that said he was separated.

The year was 2005, I had just moved to Charlotte, NC--obviously still young, dumb, naive, and still very much heart broken over King Mofo. So, one of my associates invites me to a house party at some doctor's house (which was super nice by the way) anyhoo.. we get there and I'm standing outside minding my own biznass when this chocolatey brotha steps to me.. and says...

"I wanna know what your cookie tastes like"...

except substitute cookie for the p word that I refuse to use.

Yes. He said that ish. Yes I stood there tipsy smiling like a FOOL. Remember I was coming from Tennessee where I wasn't used to this aggressive sexual ish..so I figured I'd go with the flow and maybe this is how it works ..after all, I've been out the game for 8 years.

I think I did inform him he was nasty, but the convo switched to some other bs and ended up that we exchanged numbers. He told me then he was separated and going thru a divorce and he was just getting out there dating again. Cool right? ;-/

Fast forward to our first date. We went to a restaurant..there was no sex involved..no touching, no rubbing, no nothing..just went to grab lunch. Anyway.. I found it odd that all he wanted to do was talk about his dog and all the time they spend together and he showed me 50'levum pics about the dang thing.. sidenote..if you know me, then you KNOW I have not one dayum to give about any animal..they scare me, so I'm not interested in seeing pics or hearing stories, but I was trying to be polite so I choked down my food and nodded and grinned and oooh'd and aww'd like a good lil date.

I finally get around to asking him about his separation, he tells me it's complicated.

Now.... they had been married 5 years, no kids, just that dayum dog. He said things just weren't working out, they couldn't get along. Me, coming from a shacking up situation could understand how things just don't work out.

Fast forward to a couple phone conversations later, I ask how often he sees his estranged wife.

Are you sitting down?? If not..I'll wait.


His answer: " EVERYDAY.. I STILL LIVE AT THE HOUSE."





I just looked at the phone. Now what now???

He responds with.. well I live upstairs in the house and she's downstairs.

Here's when I regain some sense...and realize no good can come from this..but yet.. I refuse to hang up the phone .. call me nosy.. call me messy.. call me trying to get to the bottom of this ish..don't judge me.

WHAT YOU MEAN??

He says well, I can't afford to move out, and she didn't want to leave so we are just sharing the house for now.

Here's where I neglected to ask the important question from jump.. but I ask it now.. how long you been "separated but living in the same house?"

Him-- a month.

*looks at phone* then I hear sniffling..and sobbing..

Hello?????

This. Ninja. Is. On. This. Phone. CRYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lawd.. I can't hang up on a brotha in need.. or can I? Or... umm Hello?? umm are you okay??

sniff..sniff...sniff.. (he answers a weak whispery) no..

Um, I think maybe you need to talk to your wife and maybe work things out..I think you jumped the gun on the dating thing.. so it was nice to meet you and good luck.

sniff...sniff.... noooooooooooooooooooooo.. don't hang up, we can go out again.

Sir. No. Absolutely not. You aren't emotionally ready and my nerves can't take this.

Needless to say, we did NOT go out again, and hell I barely remember his name, but I do hope he and his wife worked things out.

My question to you.. would you date someone that is separated or would you wait on that final divorce decree before dating??

Lesson learned: Do what you do.. but I don't think I can date someone that's separated living in the same house with their wifey.. that don't seem natural. Every case is different so I'd take it as it comes, but I prefer a SINGLE man .. not one pretending to be single and not one that isn't emotionally available because they are still MARRIED.

y'all behave..

-Meik

A Toe Sucking Mofo

Posted by ~Meik on , ,
NC Mofos are TRYING IT this week chile.... Walmart.. toe sucking... just.. ew.

What you mean Meik??

I'm sooooo glad you asked..peep this video then we shall resume chatting---





Grossed the f out yet? Good.. we feel the exact same way.

I have many questions that I need to get off my big ole hefty chest about this ish..

1. I don't do no strangers approaching me too tough as my sister and deddy would say.. so a mofo that approaches ME.. in a mofo'n WALMART.. finna get blank dayum stared.. soooo how in the hot hayle did this woman agree to a random black man in a Heathcliff Huxtable sweater to help her try on shoes??

2. Was she shopping for shoes in Walmart? WHY??? The article I read says she was just shopping and this mofo ASKED her if he could HELP her try on shoes and this heffa bish thought he was an employee?! Let's break this down for a moment---

Man in a Cosby sweater vs Walmart employees in blue vests.. and name tags.. yeah.. maybe I'm crazy..but I can't see how one would mix up an employee with a NON MOFO'N EMPLOYEE.

If I ain't shopping for shoes in the dayum store..WTF Do EYEEEE look like agreeing to go try on some shoes with a man in a Cosby sweater? Now in my mind, I feel like he's sweating and breathing hard cuz he is close to zeroing in on some toes.. chile bye..

but anyhoo let's continue..

3. According to police reports: "She thought he worked at the store and agreed to try on shoes when Brown told her he was a podiatry student." Stop right there.

*blink blink blink* First ONE.. Podiatry or podiatric medicine is a branch of medicine devoted to the study of diagnosis, medical and surgical treatment of disorders of the foot, ankle, and lower extremity. SO WHAT THE ENTIRE DAYUM HELL DOES A STUDENT NEED TO BE STUDYING FEET AND CANKLES IN THE DAYUM WALMART FUH?!!!

Again.. COSBY SWEATER........ no blue vest... and now this mofo'n wanna talk about his education???? And this heffa bish in her mind thought.. oh ok.. he looks legit.


I don't have time.

4. According to a report.. the victim said "He said, ‘I need to take a picture for research,’ and when he took the picture he stuck my foot in his mouth".....

*sigh* So.. mofos just taking pics of random feet to research later.. mmk. MAKES TOTAL SENSE... sdlafjdsklfjasdl;jf;klasjfklsdj

So at NO point when he was salivating, hunching the air and caressing her foot while taking the picture did she think ..Houston, we have a problem?? At no point did she wonder why a STUDENT would be helping her try on shoes that she didn't even dayum go in there to buy?? At no point did she ask for some identification.. a student ID.. NOTHING?! I do wonder what school this mofo said he went to but anyhoo..

5. Why didn't she kick that mofo dead in his THROAK when he leaned in to stick them toes in his MOUF? I woulda kicked his got dayum teeth in.. tho he look like he got some jagged edgeD teef ..I bet her toes had the entire hell scraped out of em.

6. So, Mr. Podiatry student.. random feet could mean toe jam, athlete's foot, crust in BETWEENXST the toes and on the heel, long toenails..I mean the list goes on, but you were that got doggone pressed to find someone to let you suck on their toes. Don't they have special clubs for fetishes or some ish?

7. The report goes on to say ---> " Realizing she was clearly upset, "He said, ‘Sorry ma’am. Please, please, please.’" He offered to pay for her groceries but she ran to call her husband and the police.



Lemme get this straight.. she declined FREE groceries tho? I would have filled up that dayum cart.. prob got another one and filled it up ..had him pay for the dayum groceries and called the po po as I was loading the ish in the car ooookayyyy... but then again.. we wouldn't have gotten this far..he'd still be choking on his teef that got kicked down his nasty freak off THROAK.

I have heard so many folks say she should be charged for being dumb as hell.

8. Lastly...This mofo is a registered sex offender, was convicted in 2001 for breaking into a house and sucking on another woman’s toes.


I AM DONE. I am unable.


Lesson here---> Keep your toes and toe fungus to yourself in the aisles of walmart..use common dayum sense to stay safe please!

Until Later..
Meik