Hey Mofo friends!



Yeah it's me..not a guest blogger! Y'all shadier than the threat of Shady Pines on the Golden Girls.



Anyhoo.. today is my birthday! *waits for applause while I adjust my crown*

But.. another year means more lessons learned. So I thought I'd look back at some of the lessons that I've learned over the past few years--cuz issa no on me telling some of you nosy arse mofos how old I really am. Some haven't been without pure utter heartbreak, and others well hell all you can do is laugh.

What you mean Meik?

Lemme just get into this list mmmk?

1. You ain't for everybody.

Whew jeeeezus. For the longest time I tried to appease folks and tried to make sure everyone liked me and if they didn't I needed to know WHYYYYYYYYY cuz I'm FABULOUS?! Getting older has taught me that you just have to accept that you are not everybody's cup of tea just like they aren't mine.



2. Your passion doesn't require approval.

I get it.. a lot of folks ain't into old school music and the whole where are they now-- and that's okay.. you don't have to read or like it, but what you won't do is stop my hustle and coins. Can I get an amen?



I can't tell you how many jokes and smart arse comments I have heard over the years about the folks I love to chat with. But can you say that you have talked with legends like Patti LaBelle, the Jacksons, Slick Rick, and the list goes on and on and on and on? No? Ok.. shhhhh.

3. My nerves ain't built to date for sport.

Some of y'all are good with having a hoe-tation or even keeping a starting line-up. I'm old and can't keep up with Ronnie, Bobby, Rickey, Mike, Ralph, and Johnny. I can only handle ONE AT A TIME. I'm also not dating to have a hunch buddy but a relationship that leads to marriage. Maybe that's why I'm still single? Hmmmm...



Do y'all keep index cards to keep your dating schedule tight? I have questions.

4. There must be work-life balance.

This year marks 12 years in the same newsroom and I realized that during that 12 years --I ain't had NOT ONE boyfriend. Lemme repeat that..NOT ONE. Well, I'm not counting that boo I had for two days. Anyway, my dating life is about as bare as Kim K's body pics on the internet. I also realized that the invites stopped coming to attend events because I always have to work. I spend my entire life in that newsroom but the good news is..change is coming. More on that later.


5. Have an open mind and don't set yourself up with those high expectations!

After recently reconnecting with someone I realized that I had him completely pegged wrong. But because I had an open mind, I found that he actually is someone I'd want to be friends with. You never know who you might miss on when you have a closed mind. I'm learning a lot about keeping an open mind during my blogs for WEtv-- who knew a matchmaker show could help show you what you are doing all the way wrong?! HOWEVER some of y'all I wish I would have kept my mind closed on but that's a blog for another day bloop!

Chile going into ish with expectations is a recipe for disaster. I can't tell you how many times in my head I figured things would turn out like x,y, and z and a walk down the aisle and all it resulted in was me blocking a crazy mofo and hoping I don't run into him.



6. It's okay to ask for help.

I am independent She-Ra hear me roar! But as I get ready to venture down a new path, I'm realizing I need help and resources, and while asking for help hurts- sometimes it's necessary and it also weeds out the mofos that always say HOLLA IF YOU NEED ME and when you do--it's pure crickets. I SEE YOU!



7. Gratitude is the attitude.

One thing Kashif always taught me was the power of positive thinking and being grateful. I didn't really understand that concept until a few months after he passed away then I thought oooooooh THAT is what he meant. When you are grateful and positive, you don't spend your energy on the negative bull ish and you can speak things into existence. I am grateful for everything, every experience good or bad, and all the triflin mofos that have come and gone.


8. Accepting yourself.

It has taken a long time to get here and I still have a ways to go. 10 or hell even 5 years ago I would look in the mirror and couldn't deal with the person looking back at me. Now, I'm still like bish this gut has gotta go, but I am embracing my lil jelly roll, and embracing all of my quirks, accepting that I'm me--that ole virgo bae.



Of course the list goes on and on with the lessons but I'm tired of typing. Judge your mammy not me.

Thank you all for rocking with me on this blog even tho I barely write over here. Make sure you check out the new show that I'm on called The Date Sheet:



Let me know what you think!

Always in Gratitude,
`Meik

What's up Mofo Fam?!

Don't even start..I know I'm triflin, we have established this time and time again, but yet here y'all sit with the judge-y eyeballs because a sista don't blog much these days. The point is, I'm here now, so let's all just embrace it and rejoice!

But you know, sometimes I wonder why I even respond when folks slide into the DM's--that's direct messages for the social media challenged, and for the even more short bus challenged, that means INBOX.




What happened Meik?

Oh I'm glad you asked!

Once-ta-pon a time I wished upon a star that THE ONE would grease his legs up with shea butter or cocoa butter and slide into my DM's and we'd skip happily ever after into the sunset.



But since it's me, YOU KNOW it doesn't work that way. It's usually the ones that I just cannot even fathom ever meeting in person.

Why Meik?

I'm glad you asked, because I decided to give a couple of helpful hints to keep my attention if you should slide into my DM's because after all this should be a pleasant experience for both of us..right? Before anyone gets their draws in a knot..this is just a blog.. take it as you will..if you are offended..well.. I'm pretty sure I don't care. :)

1. Spell check is your friend!
Nothing grates my nerves more than someone trying to holla at ME--the person that writes ALL DAY LONG and you have everything including my name and yours spelled wrong. Don't get me wrong, I understand that sometimes when typing, you may hit a wrong letter or two, but if EVERY SINGLE THING IS MISSPELLED..lawd go away! I get that you are trying to shoot your shot and want me to know that you are worth meeting, but telling me how you aren't "shollow" just makes me wonder if you fell and bumped your head on the way to your keyboard. IDK WTF that means.. shy and hollow? I don't have time to decipher what you are TRYING to tell me. I am BUSY.



2. If you don't know the right word..don't use it.
For example a brotha slid into the DM's asking me this "What do you like to get from the CONFESSION stand at the movies?" Well I can CONFESS I bring my own snacks but I'm sure that's not what you meant. See where the misunderstanding starts?



3. If I say NO.. I mean it. Don't keep tearing up my nerves asking repeatedly. No I don't wanna talk on the phone, no I don't wanna go out, no I don't wanna do ish but teach you how to spell! Anyone that knows me knows I'm like a brick arse wall. Too high to get over, too low to get under, so your arse will be stuck in the middle like an MJ song.. trying and trying and trying and I'll still keep saying NO.



4. Y'all... sliding into the DM's...I assume you are single, but I also know that most often that ain't the case. Be honest, don't wait til I say no to start posting pics of your new bae the next hour... cuz that probably ain't a new bae, it's the same bae that's been around and your arse is just triflin for sliding into someone's DM's trying to shoot a three pointer.

5. Lastly, please have more to say then "hey beautiful" or "hey sweetie".. first of all, I ain't your sweetie, you don't know me and I don't like bae names from someone I don't even know and have had ZERO interaction with. Yeah I'm an arse but I'm not for games. Hell, half the mofos that try that spell it SWEATIE so there's that.



I need intelligent INTERESTING convo to keep me interested, no small talk, instead make me laugh (and not just with your misspellings), and don't try to look at my pics and ASSume what I wanna hear. BE YOU!

I hope these lil pointers help somebody before sliding into DM's all across the social media spectrum. It's a shame more love connections aren't made over miscommunication and misspellings. I want us all to prosper outchea!

Shoot maybe I need to shoot my shot and slide into the DM's first.. see what happens!



What experiences have y'all had in your DM's? Anybody found love on a two way DM street?

As always I'm looking for guest bloggers! No I can't pay you but you get to blog on here with me and have folks think you are just as ignate as I am LOL! If interested..hit me up!

~Meik

*tip toes in* Heyyyyyy Mofo-ville! Let me start this off by saying I hates me a cheater, but we'll come back to that.




I know.. I ain't worth one ounce of ish. You don't have to tell me.. but listen let me explain my absence. A heffa been busy!

I've been writing and writing and ..well you get the point. So with that being said, if you are out and about, pick up the April/May issue of EBONY Magazine--because yours truly has an article in the issue on Global Decor and I'm just sooooo excited about it!




But I know that's not why y'all came over here today to hear me gush about my accomplishments n ish.. let's get to what I need to get off this big arse chest of mine.

What's wrong Meik?

I'm glad you asked! Mofo'n cheaters of a feather flock to dayum gether.

Whatchu mean Meik?

Ooooh stick with me now.. so back in February I decided to be bold and try something new and dip a toe into the dating waters by going to this speed dating event. While I didn't meet a nar soul DURING the event, I did discover that I do like coconut tequila! Judge your mammy not me!



Anyhoo, after the event is when I met Karl. *names have been changed to protect the lying arse cheaters of the world*

Now, mind you I was tipsy and from what I could tell Karl was handsome, tall, gorgeous light brown eyes, long eye lashes, could hold a convo and more importantly--he wanted to call me! *I was excited..most mofos these days just ask for your twitter handle and DM the living shit out of every nerve you have left.*



So lo and behold, he called and we agreed to hang out later that evening. Now mind you--he told me he was only at the event to support his friend who was there selling men's grooming products--he wasn't there to speed date. So we meet up to grab a drink (YES I DRANK ALL DAY DO NOT LOOK AT ME LIKE THIS..I AM STRESSED!) and some ish comes pouring out from one of his female friends that's down to the bar and she is going off about how he used to cheat on his wife with one of her friends.

Yep. Read that line one more time. RED FLAG NUMBER ONE.





So I pull him to the side and ask him the following: Are you married? He says no. Are you divorced? Yes have been for awhile.
Do you have a chick? Girlfriend? A girl that thinks she's your bae? A jumpoff? Any of the above? He says no.
I ask do you live with a chick? Again the answer is No.

Pay attention to these answers y'all.

So I think to myself, "self, you gotta have an open mind, don't cut him off YET just see what happens."

So a couple weeks later, he hits me up to meet again at the same dayum spot..cool cuz it's by my house and apparently close to his. After about 3-4 times of meeting at the same place.. he tells me he's had thoughts of us sleeping together and talking in bed and all this other ish and yet I let RED FLAG NUMBER TWO walk on by like Issac Hayes sang.. and he tells me he doesn't want to see anyone else just me.. but here's the thing my dear beloveds, he tells me this ish on a Friday or Saturday night..then falls off the face of the earth the rest of the week or even two weeks.

Maybe it's the fact I don't have to pay for these drinks.. maybe I like the company..IDK but he's still cool to hang with so we agree to hang out again.

At this point it's April. I'm still on the fence as to whether or not I'm digging him or not because hell, he has YET to take me anywhere else.. or do what he says he's gonna do. I ask him again about having a chick--he claims NOPE.. I don't know WHAT you are talkin about. I just don't like talking on the phone or texting. RED FLAG NUMBER THREE and FOUR and FIVE.





Yet.. guess who decides to meet him down to the bar YET AGAIN? Yep. My dumb arse.. WHY? Well I'm like he buys drinks, and at this point I have YET to celebrate the fact I have an amazing article in a magazine that I've always wanted to write for and again, I like his company. So I get there--and as he is spouting this nonsense about us being exclusive I just keep thinking something ain't clean in the almond milk chile..there's a cashew floating around in it!





I notice that his friends are not with their "main baes" but instead with their "side baes" and as that RED FLAG NUMBER SIX THRU TEN pops up, I start thinking, WHAT IN THE HAYLE IS REALLY GOINGS ON? So I ask him again about this exclusive thing and he gets quiet.. and then the tequila shots must have been a truth serum because I ask him "do you have someone else-- what is with this ghosting for weeks and then hitting me up randomly and not wanting to go anywhere but his damn bar?"

Y'all........



"There was never a right time to tell you this..I do have a girl," Karl mumbles.

Let me tuck my hair behind my ear and scoot in cuz I could swear his black arse just said he has a chick.

Run that by me one mo' time playa..WHET?

He starts stammering and trying to say "I never thought I'd like you but I like you but I just could never find the time to tell you that I have a girl."

So now we go back to day one---so at no point before exchanging info..was that a good time to tell me you have a chick? At no point when I blatantly ASKED you this on day one was there a right time? He keeps trying to explain their on and off again relationship.. but..

He keeps trying to explain to me how I've got it all wrong. Now y'all....

I ask him if he lives with her.. he acts deaf.

Then mumbles sometimes..kinda.. sort of.. well hell, do y'all split the bills or...?

At this moment I realize I've been included in the circle of side baes. I realize that he introduced me to all of his friends and they all KNEW he had a chick at home! Now if you KNOW me.. u KNOW I don't play this mess especially after King Mofo ripped my heart out with his cast of side chick characters running in and out and I damn sure don't appreciate this ninja ASSuming that I'd be okay with being a side chick. In the words of one of my artist friends, "you must have forgot who the F I am."

So.. I grab my purse to head out and he's trying to stand in the way and apologize and tell me that we should hug it out and continue hanging out --uhhhh no.. where is SHE? He's like prob at the house wondering where I am.

SIR WHET?

So if she decides to do a drive by--and roll up here and walks in with your hand on my leg or catching you trying to lick the salt from tequila glass off my face.. then jeeezus y'all I CANNOT FIGHT..IDK WHET WOULD HAVE HAPPENED! I DO NOT DO DRAMA!

He keeps telling me "I don't understand why you are mad and looking at me with disgust..I apologized.

"


If you don't get out of here with this.

Then it hit me.. as I continue waiting for God to bring my husband round here, this foolishness just put me another step closer to finding the one. I wasn't hurt.. I wasn't even that mad, I am glad that I found out he wasn't ish NOW and things never progressed any further. WE shant be communicating any further. EVAHHHH.




Lesson Learned: When you see those red flags... take heed and RUUUUUUUUUUN! While I'm sure some chick would have gladly settled for any parts of him that he could share..I'm not that one. I feel for the girlfriend that was sitting at home wondering where his arse was and I hope she realizes she deserves better. I've been that chick sitting up half the night worrying and wondering and I admit doing drive bys past all my bae's fav places ..WHEN I WAS IN MY 20'S! I wish I would be bothered with that ish now. This is a 'break up' I'll gladly take. BYE MOFO.

Have y'all ever had an experience like this?


Pick up that EBONY Mag..let me know what you think!

~Always in Gratitude,
Meik