A Mofo'n Reporter's Dream Weekend

Now some of you have been asking for my REAL recap of the weekend's events. Lemme just preface this with saying..I LOVE THIS ISH! I absolutely love covering events and doing red carpets!! The past few days have been a reporter's/entertainment writer's dream.

Let's start with Thursday because I was invited to attend the soft launch of Real Housewives of Atlanta/Bar One's owner Peter Thomas' new bar in Charlotte. Sports One Bar & Lounge is located on the outskirts of Uptown Charlotte on College Street. I wasn't sure what I was expecting when I pulled into the parking lot but since this was an invite only/rsvp only event, I just thought and KNEW it was going to be a classy affair.

This is what I get for THOUGHT'in and KNOWING.

The valet was air tight on making sure you were on the list or had rsvp'd before they even let you get out of the car, I suppose they were under the direction to send your ass on somewhere if you weren't special.

The spot is in the former location of Luna Lounge. Now Luna, while nice always seemed to not have air conditioning.. maybe it was the influx of negroids filling up the place, you know y'all draw heat.. or maybe it was lack of ventilation, but they had a patio so it was still a nice place to hang out. Now Sports One had the red carpet laid out.. but nobody was on it :-/

When my friend and I got inside, there was a decent crowd of media folks, and somewhere someone dug up all the ratchets from every corner of the city, and silly me thought there would be some straight men looking for new boo's but I was wrong.. there were men, they just weren't seeking the female type of company if you know what I mean. Men in short shawts and itty bitty shirts.. well... I've never seen that around here.. I guess I don't get out much. The dress was supposed to be cocktail attire but I think only a few of us got that memo, unless cocktail attire includes your bra and panties, and things that shouldn't be worn outside of the house.

Anyway, the inside of the place is laid out nice..complete with tables for folks dining in, and big screen televisions on the wall above the bar. The enclosed patio is probably my favorite spot in the entire place. I can't speak on the food or the drinks because I waited 30 minutes to get a bartender's attention to finally ask for a drink menu and never got it..so I'm gonna need them to get it together. Now remember the a/c issue.. it seems like it still exists, so Peter.. bruh..I'm gonna need you to get some fans or some ish to cool it off in there. Kordell looked like he was finna pass out from sweating. Both men, Peter and Kordell, were super friendly and posing for pics chatting it up with everyone. I also loved the homage they pay to one of the greats in sports..Muhammad Ali's picture is on the wall when you walk in. I hear Cynthia and Kenya eventually showed up around 10:30 and the event ended at 11. Way to go ladies!

So anyway I think this will be a great "IT" spot for the QC..provided you ninjas don't munk it up.

Now onto the weekend..

Friday I had the opportunity to hit up the Freedom Friday party at the Steve Harvey Neighborhood Awards in Atlanta.. it's a party where EVERYONE has on ALL WHITE. You know this is just ASKING for hot arse messes right? It was like being at a head usher convention with the church mothers that like to sip on that brown liquor. It was a fun time.. KEM damn near put us to sleep with his set list of songs that all sound the entire dayum same,and I missed the O'Jays because my friend had a work issue pop up. (sidenote.. Atlanta..does parking for a special event really need to cost dayum near $30?!)

Saturday..I attended the Would You Date You seminar I already blogged on..and attended a movie screening for the UPtv film Comeback Dad..when it comes on television..WATCH IT!

Saturday evening..it was time for the Ford Blue Carpet. It was SUPPOSED to start at 5pm. I wanna blame black folks just cuz y'all never on time, but the carpet was not down and ready to go at 5pm.. therefore pushing everything behind. The carpet was about as long as it is from my front door to the patio door and that ain't saying much..meaning not enough carpet..not enough room for media.

Now I'm gonna hit the highlights along with some advice..

1. Please know WHO is on the carpet. Screaming TAVIS SMILEY! at Ed Gordon ain't cute. not one bit. ESPECIALLY if you are a reputable media outlet. Asking who Attorney Benjamin Crump is.. are you kidding me right now? Other media folks should not have to educate you on ish you should know!

2. Speaking of reputable media outlets..it appears if you have a blog/you tube channel you count as media..why?

3. I'm sure media folks taking selfies with stars is not ethical..and I joined in..and thought about ethics after the fact..after all I was NOT finna let Shemar Moore get away without taking a pic with me! I admit..I did push my boobies on him.. and probably grinded on him in my head also..but anyhoo..don't judge me! that man is FINE!

4. If you are lucky to be on the carpet to interview or photograph folks.. make sure your breath is minty fresh or chew some dayum gum, swallow some mints something..this dude bless his heart had the breath of death and destruction while yelling OVER me to get some of the celebs attentions..Idk maybe this was a strategic move to get the interview first, because it sure as hell threw me off my game.

5. Wear comfortable shoes. One day the ratchets that pretend they are media will learn..you aren't on the carpet to find a man, you are on the carpet to work and get interviews..who cares if you have on 10 inch stilettos? Your feet will thank you later if you stick to flats and comfy clothes. Especially in 100 degree heat.

I had a great time covering the blue carpet. A year ago, I never would have thought I would even walk halfway normal again much less cover an event at the magnitude of the neighborhood awards. Shoot, even a couple months ago when I filled out my media credential forms, I wasn't sure how I was going to pull this off. My grandma always said if you put your mind to it, you can do anything. I just wish she were still here to see it.

Until Later..


Would You Date You?

I just got back from the Steve Harvey Neighborhood Awards/State Farm Expo in Atlanta. It was a grand time from seeing movie screenings, to the Freedom Friday party, to the Blue Carpet.. met some celebs, grinded on ..well nevermind..lemme get back to the point of this post.

One seminar that I did get the chance to check out was "Would You Date You?"

Now I had to dig down deep in my own soul to answer the question--I suggest some of you doing the same. Of course my first answer was a resounding HELL YEAH I'd date me! But when you really step back to look at EVERYTHING.. would you really?

What you mean Meik?

Well first lemme start by saying Stephen A. Smith hosted the seminar..and the ish was late just like Kandi's wedding on Bravo.. not 4 hours late, but 45 minutes is enough to have us starting a mini-riot.

I can feel y'all giving the same look that I gave..

The panel consisted of Kandi (RHOA) and Dr. Laura (the #secks lady)--I sense a sex theme here.. a sex expert and a sex toy seller.. see..

Now.. I would have loved to have seen a couple like Tamala and David Mann sit on the panel..they been married forever and could provide some kind of insight and let Dr. Laura or Kandi host. But, I don't put the ish together, I'm just press.

Of course Stephen A Smith had to remind us all that he is sorry for the way he "misspoke" on ESPN and Twitter about the domestic violence bruhaha and that he would never promote domestic violence blah blah blah blah. Now while Smith gets on my everlasting nerve just from talking, I appreciate that he did speak out on why he said he WOULD NOT date him. (I could list some reasons including that smushed receding hairline baby fro but anyhoo) He went into some explanation about how he was raised in a household full of women.. his mom, 4 sisters and he just had to get out of that "women telling him what to do everytime he turned around" type of mode, but he loves women.. (u see where this is going..this is ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL about him) and he loves women, but as a kid he wanted freedom and still does because he hasn't found a partner he can still have that freedom with. Now.. I'll let y'all take from that what you will.

Kandi said she wouldn't have dated herself.. Of course my first thought went to Mama Joyce. She said that because there are things about herself that she does, but doesn't like a man to do, for example, she gets so busy with work, she doesn't call at times, but if a man did that, she would be pissed and cut him off. She did mention a meddling mother as a reason to not date herself, but we all agree that Todd is a trooper and a half for hanging in there cuz chile.... She also said she married Todd because he is a supporter and teammate for her, and a great communicator.

Dr. Laura said she married her husband because he was her partner in everything and he stimulated her mind and body. (where do we sign up for a man like that girl?!)

My fav quote came from Dr. Laura "Sex is like pizza, any sex is good." when she was referring to men that will get sex from anywhere and anybody.

Of course back to Stephen..he says a man's job is to provide and protect so they have to feel needed. He said "Give a man what wants and he will lead you." Maybe it's just me, but when will the man give the woman what she wants? I don't know about y'all but honesty and loyalty and acting like a mofo'n man doesn't seem like much, but some can't get that together so.....

Ok I can see that, but some men don't know how to provide OR protect, they just know how to have sex and get on someone's nerves..but anyhoo..

Dr. Laura said there are several ways that women make mistakes..
1. Women have to be who they are on their own.. for example, why wait on a man to get that house, car, or follow a certain career path? Get the stuff on your own, be happy on your own.

2. When you are blissfully complete, then you find love. (This must be where I have gone left because something is missing and I thought it was the love thing.. )

3. Women often confuse power with the need to control everything. She explained that she was a recovering alpha woman and had to reassess some things. She says we turn men off when we confuse power with control. You can be a powerful woman but you don't have to control everything, let it go. Kandi chimed in with "let the man be the man".. she said Todd will check her when she is on a power/control trip by saying, "I don't work for you." I myself have heard that my producer/reporter side carries over into my personal life and I am so used to barking orders and being well .. bossy that it bleeds over into a need to control ish to have it done the way I want it done the end. So this for me was revealing.

At this point Smith started rambling about a career story to the set of The View so I got the hell up outta there.. along with several others ..but the question remains..

Would you date you?

My answer is a couple of years ago, No. Last year? Absolutely not. Right now in present day? I would get to know me. I know before I had baggage that I still hadn't checked at the door and left it in the past, I know that I also had a lot going on medically and my nerves were bad and trying to communicate..forget it. Now I'm willing to let the wall down, for the right person that is trying to get around or over the wall. Unfortunately, I haven't met that person that wants anything more than sex.. which leads me to wonder.. what's wrong with them that, that is all that they want? Or is it me? So many questions pop up outta this dating thing but one thing is for sure, we all have to examine ourselves before throwing ourselves out there. A lady standing behind me in line said, "you can't have a long list of stuff you want, and you don't meet any of the stuff on that list." I agree.. so ladies and gents..maybe we should take another look at the list of our WANTS and figure out what we NEED.

Finally.. Dr. Laura said you won't find love until you KNOW that you are WORTHY of love. I think I have some homework to do.

Until Later..

Stuck on Lionel Richie

Two words: Lionel. Richie.

*insert squeal* I MET LIONEL RICHIE!

What happened Meik? How did it happen? WHY it happen??

I'm so glad you asked.

First IF LI-NEL comes to your city.. GOOOOOOO see his show.. it's like a freaking mega karaoke session since everybody knows all of his songs. Trust me on this. You won't regret going--er.. well you might if you aren't a fan of shawt armed Cee-lo, but just get there after his set mmk?

Now onto Friday night.. like any person that gets tired of going out, I have become a homebody and best friends with Netflix and my On-Demand channels and I can't forget thousands of my twitter friends. So with my AKA sorority sisters in town for Boule, I decided it's time to be social because it's not like they live here and I can see them any ole time right?

We meet up for drinks and our party dwindles down to two and frankly I have had enough of latin jazz night at Blue, so I suggest that we head over to the Ritz Carlton to see if they have live music and mingling going on.

Mind you, I'm 3 ..or was it 4 martinis in, and feeling nice. I'm also pretty sure I shouldn't be mixing alcohol with the mofo'n medicine I am on for my leg, but that's another story for another day.

So we end up sitting next to the bathrooms and near the lobby, because the place is packed. It's dark, there are black folks everywhere but the music is niiiiiice. So I'm twerking in my seat and I look up and see a light skinned man that resembles nobody other than Lionel Richie.

Nawl.. nawl.. nawl.. that can't be him. My mind's playing tricks on me. Besides, his concert was in Charlotte on Thursday and surely he would have already left town by now. IT CANNOT BE HIM. He is getting closer, and I'm squinting trying to get my dry arse contacts to focus. He gets a little closer and there's a white dude with him that I assume is either in the band, his manager, or well he was too small to be anybody's bodyguard, but hey, you never know I guess.

Ebony and Ivory are right by us and I say ..OMG..THAT IS LIONEL RICHIE!!

Of course, nobody listens to me everrrrrrr... (case in point, I kept telling my friends Chuckii Booker was on stage with Li-Nel..I recognized those deep arse dimples anywhere..and what do you know.. Li-Nel introduced him a short time later.. folks gonna listen to Meik Meik one day. Another example.. I KNEW I saw the lil dark skinned dude from Camp Lo at a bar once..nobody listened but I went right up to him and said I know you.. you from Camp Lo..and lo and behold it was Sonny Cheeba.. I BE KNOWIN.)

Anyhoo back to the story.. my soror and two other ladies sitting there look at me as if I have lost the absolute last bit of sense I was born with. Okay, so maybe I have, but that ain't the point! THAT IS LIONEL RICHIE!

I jump up---well the best I can with my leg, and say THAT WAS LIONEL RICHIE THAT JUST WENT INTO THE BATHROOM!!!

I high tail it over to the entrance to the bathrooms and post up on the wall. My soror signals that if it's him to let her know and she is ready to take a pic. A little indian girl slides over beside me and I'm like "did you see what I saw?" She nods and whispers Lionel. YAAASSS I'm not crazy!! But wait.. not one person in the Ritz bar area paid him a bit of attention. Maybe they thought oh, that's just another light skinnTed Charlotte negroid trying to look like someone important, or they thought who the hell is that cat daddy and why is he wearing them tight arse pants? Either way..nobody else has spotted him.

TMZ ain't got ish on me I tell you. Maybe I can get a job there since nobody else will hire ya girl.

Anyhoo..the door opens..some dude walks out. ugh YOU ain't Lionel.

Door opens again.. another random walks out. YOU ain't Lionel either.

FINALLY..door opens again and Lionel walks out..I nod frantically at my soror who is quick on her feet and manages to get over there within 2 seconds.

"Mr. Richie, Lionel, heyyyy can we get a picture?"

"Sure, really quick tho"

He grabs me and lil indian girl and we are in the same pic and I tell him thru my smile that I work for SoulTrain.com and he turns to me and says "No Kidding?! That's great!" *faints* Li-Nel is ahhhhh-maaazing.

Now for 65 years old, Li-Nel ain't got no wrinkles nowhere..tho I guess if I had his bank account, I would be looking like a Commodore until I was 100 years old. He's also not the 6'2 man I thought he'd be in my head, he's probably more like 5'9 but who cares..

All I can think is..OMG..OMG..THIS IS LI-NEL RICHIE..MICHAEL JACKSON'S FRIEND!!!!!!!! *insert fan girl moment*

When I tell you it did not matter to me one bit that he just came out of that bathroom and I didn't know or care if he washed his hands. Hell as far as I was concerned, I could have Li-Nel pee on my shirt and I would still be in 7th heaven. Judge me if you want to.

I gather my thoughts quickly and say Mr. Richie will you take one more pic for me..and he turns and says sure realllly quick. Snap.. pic taken.. I tell him thank you and that his concert was absolutely the best ever and amazing. He turns to me, and with the grace and humbleness of someone just starting in the biz, rather than a man of his stature and legendary everythang, grabs my hand and says thank you so much, I appreciate it really I do.

OMG OMG OMG HE LOVES MEEEEEE!! no wait..that's Idris Elba that loves me.

Then someone else stepped in his way and he said, "by the way, what's going on in here tonight?" Someone said, "it's just a regular Friday night in Charlotte".. I'm thinking, THE HELL YOU SAY.. LI0NEL RICHIE IS HERE!! THIS AIN'T REGULAR!

All I know is this, Lionel didn't have to entertain us with even one pic or conversation, but he was super nice and friendly. I understood his reason for saying take the pics quickly, because he didn't want other folks to catch on that he was there and then they'd start wanting pics and autographs. Just as fast as he was there.. he was gone. I swear he vanished into thin air like Michael Jackson did in Remember the Time. I'm telling you, I never saw him walk out the door or get on the elevator. WHERE DID LIONEL GO?!!! Thin air. He probably paid for a thin air vanisher with all that money he has. Hell, if I was him, I wouldn't even be on tour, I'd be walking to my mailbox daily to get my checks and chillin by a pool or something.

Lesson Learned: Keep your mofo'n eyes peeled.. you never know who you might see. You gotta move fast to get what you want. Next step.. calling his peeps to hopefully set up an interview *crosses fingers* .. I haven't calmed down from this not one bit..I feel like "Dancing on The Ceiling" "All Night Long!!"

What's your favorite Lionel Richie song? This one is in my head right now so I thought I'd share..come on 2 step with me!

Until Later..

A Mofo'n Test and Lessons Learned

Posted by ~Meik on , , , ,

What's happening Mofo-villians?

Many of you know..or hell don't know.. or even care to know that I had surgery last year to remove some pesky fibroids (uterine fibroids are in and of the debbil and can cause all kinds of drama internally and make your body think you are pregnant among other things..hence my addiction to Ben & Jerry's peanut butter banana fro-yo but nevermind that)

After the surgery.. I suffered from nerve damage in my left leg... for the slow folks nerve damage can consist of numbness, pain, both, weakness in the leg, limited function. Now don't get me wrong, I don't need a wheelchair..or a hoveround.. I can walk. Thank goodness for physical therapy and my determination to not let this beat me. At one point I was dragging my leg, couldn't hardly lift my foot off the ground, and nevermind being able to tell if I nicked my leg shaving unless I saw blood. Due to me having to alter my gait and the way I walked, I then developed bursitis in my hip..oh joy..the hits just keep coming right? Fast forward to a year later.. I can walk but have just a slight limp, sometimes carry a cane when I have to walk long distances, and I can lift my foot/leg a few more inches off the ground than I could before. My hip only hurts on the rare occasion that I do something to make it hurt. (get ya minds out the gutter nassy folks!)But the most annoying part of the nerves waking up and regenerating? The pain. Most of the time, I can tolerate the aching in my leg, but when that ish starts to feel like someone has a knife stuck in my leg or foot.. I have to call on Jesus and all the disciples to help me thru it. My point.. I am dealing with it.

Why are you telling us this Meik?

Good question..hell if I know..maybe to help someone else that's going thru the same type of problem, or maybe to remind myself how far I've come.

When are you getting to the rant Meik?

Oh..here it is..

I am SO tired of hearing "why don't you go out anymore?" "why don't you come to this club or this party?" "you're never going to meet anyone sitting on the couch." ....and on and on.. I say this to say.. I get out and about..but only I can determine what my leg feels like and if I want to waste my gas to drive somewhere only to turn around 10 min later to go back home because standing on it is driving me insane or hell it just flat out hurts. That's not the only reason. I cannot bar hop much less do a soul train line and I refuse to take this cane to the club. Chile bye. I'm shallow at times. I know this. You know this. My self esteem has taken a bit of a hit because once upon a time my pride and joy was my legs, my cheerleader muscle-infused legs, now while nobody else may notice, I know that my leg is not what it used to be and will it ever be? I don't know.. maybe not. I can't wear my heels.. I have been reduced to wearing flats, and in my head sometimes I think nobody is going to want someone with a janky arse leg, not to mention the weight I've gained from the multiple medicines that the doctors are shoving down my throaK--but hell f em. But I am grateful that I do have my legs, and while I may not be able to do the things that I once loved like riding a bike, skating or even twerking on one leg down a soul train line.. I still can walk and get from point A to point B and while it may take me longer these days.. it's better than not being able to at all.

No longer do I ask WHY ME? I interviewed the singer Will Downing once and he told me something very important..he said , you are going thru a test, and you have to learn the lesson from that test, and once you do, then you will pass it. I couldn't figure out what the lesson could possibly be in not having the use of my leg 100%, all I could focus on is not being able to wear my heels, and not being able to pick up the phone to call my grandma to whine, and not finding a man to love me for me in my flats.

Months later it hit me.. the lesson that I learned was this: I never took the time to slow down and really look at people and have empathy for what they go through until now. I always made assumptions and wanted them to hurry up and get out of my way because I had places to be. Now, I understand their struggle. My grandma always told me to focus to on the good and it would make me forget just how bad things are. So I turned my attention to my writing and interview skills and ultimately got in the door at a magazine that I have been sending ish to for months. I was offered a paying blog on a site that I used to write for FOR FREE. See what I mean? I got over the pity party and focused on other things that I needed to develop. Maybe this was God's way of sitting me down to do it. I'm still a work in progress and just because you don't see me out and about much.. gimme time..I'm still working on my self esteem and trying to make these flats go with the outfits that still fit!

Thanks for reading :)


Blog Tour..and we rolling.. rolling

Posted by ~Meik on
They don't call it CP time for nuthin and in true fashion and form..I am late as hell posting my portion of the blog tour.

I was asked by my fellow blogger/writer/online friend Leesa of Chilltown TV Fame to participate in a writer's process blog tour (well challenge cuz clearly I have issues following directions.) The initial tour started with her friend journalist/writer Janet Stilson.

What's the purpose Meik?

Well..I'm glad you asked ...

As the writer/blogger you answer four questions about your craft and introduce your readers to three new writers. So... here goes nothing!

WHAT AM I WORKING ON: Initially I was working on a web series that is loosely based on my blog, but I have reached a big arse block and it's too high to get over, too low to get under..therefore guess what.. you got it.. I'm stuck in the mofo'n middle. I am still grinding writing for SoulTrain.com and most recently Carolina Style, and taking on a new project by writing for another magazine that I will discuss later after everything is finalized. In between ALLLLLLLLLL that, I occasionally come over here to dust off this blog and help you get a couple of sniggles to make it through the day.

HOW DOES MY WORK DIFFER FROM OTHERS OF ITS GENRE: I think it has a mofo'n touch of sarcastic humor and I try to paint a picture so that the audience feels they are right there with me on that journey. In my interviews and articles, I try to tell the person's story in a way that lets you see them as more than a voice on the radio, or a face on the tv screen, and make them more humanized if that makes sense. Hell, these days, social media just ruins our vision of how celebrities are viewed.. go read Tyrese's tweets then lemme know if you still like him. I'll wait.

WHY DO I WRITE WHAT I WRITE? Initially I started blogging as a way to get out my frustration and hurt from a bad breakup, then I started seeing the response to it as I kept blogging about jumping back into the dating pool. Little did I know that I would STILL be in the dating pool, but most folks can still relate, and each incident I have learned a lesson that I like to share and hope that people can receive that message and lesson as well, as well as take away a little humor from how I came to learning that particular lesson. I write anywhere from dating stories, to my views on relationships, random things I see in the news or while people watching. It just depends. As for the types of folks I love to interview, I really love talking to the folks that paved the way and laid the foundation for music/entertainment..I don't want their stories to get lost, because for most, the internet was not a huge thing when they were on top and they are navigating the waters of social media. It's also cool to talk to the folks that I grew up listening to. I shoulda been a singer but God didn't give me that talent so there's that.

HOW DOES YOUR WRITING PROCESS WORK: I honestly don't have a process. If I think about the ish, then I write it. I don't write a rough draft of a blog..I just write. As for the web series, I wrote notes, and fleshed out the dialogue and let folks read it for feedback and got busy rewriting it. Same for interviews/articles..I do my research and put pen to paper..the end.

Finally, here are three writer friends who I think you should absolutely check out...they either inspire me.. have no sense.. or both LOL. jk..

1. Cheris Hodges---this chick is a BOSS.. she writes the heck out of African American romance novels and still finds time to be a freelance journalist, and blog and spotlight other authors on her website..make sure you check her out.

2.Jarvis Holliday --I can barely keep up with this dude. He's a freelance journalist that does it all.. He writes for Charlotte Magazine with his Charlotte Nightlife Blog to keep us all posted on the happenings every week. I like to call him my social planner (clearly, I just keep coming out the house..which means good news for y'all ..more blogs..but blame him mmk)
Anyway..check him out right chea..

3. Mizz Bea--she is what she calls a bridge builder, fist in the air social justice fighter and lover of hip hop. She's also a public relations machine as well. Check out her blog here: http://www.beawilliams.com/journal/

And a bonus one b/c I know so many great writers..I can't possibly leave out anyone.. (tho for the rest you can always check my blog roll!!)

*bonus* Ms. CM Writer is a woman of all trades. She's an attorney, an authorESS, a blogger, and consultant. She writes her own column and keeps us up to date on men's points of view on relationships, fashion, and good eats. Make sure you check her out also..

So.. the rules are now you post this on your blog and name 3 more writers and keep the tour going!! You have 1 week to post! :)


Lemme buy you a drank

Posted by ~Meik on ,
*sigh* One of these days.. I swear fo gawd I am going to lock myself inside my room and never come out.

What's shakin Mofoville???? What's wrong Meik?

I'm so glad you asked! Have you ever decided to step outside your comfort zone only for it to explode in your face? Just me??

Friday night I decided to attend this touring show called The Great Love Debate: Why is everyone still single?? .. and you can read my recap right here on the Carolina Style Magazine website about the things I took away from it http://carolinastylemag.com/2014/05/17/men-vs-women-the-fight-to-end-being-single-in-the-queen-city/

Anyhoo..after the event we all headed down the street for a mixer, because after all we're all single, and allegedly looking to mingle right?

So.. I head over with a friend and she introduces me to some dude that I recognize from the event that stood up to express his opinion about how to approach a woman.. it didn't impress me then and he sure wasn't really impressing me now, but I'm stepping out of my comfort zone remember? He tells me he is going to school to be a producer/director..I tell him what I do, he informs me that he is also a barber and rambled off a few other jobs, but I stopped breathing momentarily because his breath smelled like hot dog water mixed with fried bologna.. ewww sir what you been eating?!!!!

Anyhoo..so we continue chatting about..hell I don't know..I think I lost consciousness.. so once I can turn my head to gasp for air.. he then says "Can I buy you a drink?" So I see this as my escape for air.. sure.. let's go to the bar.
Well, my friend that had promised to drive me to my car has to leave so she tells yuck mouF to make sure I get to my car safe and sound. He assures her he will and I'm giving her the WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME look but she clearly isn't paying me any attention.

I turn to the bar and he's leaning over me talking.. I just wanna slide to the dayum floor and rock in a ball. I grab the menu and bury my head in it, he leans over asking me about the drinks and says "You should get the Apple Martini--it's the special.. and it's $7." I say, maybe but I really like the creme brulee martinis here because no other place in the city makes them like this. It's $10. He says okay, let's both get one. So we order. He tells me that his ex wife's bday was in September and I say oh mine is in September..he says "it's my destiny to be with a woman born in September"...

Do what?!!!! mmmk. Bartender hands us our drinks. I turn to talk to this lil elderly german lady behind me because during the event she said she knew why white men don't pursue black women so I had to ask.. she informed me that it's because the white baby looks up at it's mother while breastfeeding and sees a white face and because they love their mother so much, they won't pursue a black woman. Hmm. Does Robin Thicke know this ish? That whole theory alone is just pure utter foolishness but anyhoo... this ain't the point of the story.. dude taps me and says ummmmmm "she says it's $22 for the drinks".. me: okay.. thank you. I turn back around and the lady has walked away. I turn back to the bar to get my drink... I hear him asking the bartender.. "Is that $22 A PIECE ..like PER DRINK??" *sigh* Bartender says no.. it's the total. He whips out a crumpled $10 bill and a $1 bill and says ummmmmmmmm and sideeyes me.
"what is the problem?"

Him: She said it's $22

Ok we've established that.. so pay her.

Him: *looks at his crumpled up money and back at me and back at the money and back at me*

sigh.. I'll pay for my own drink..

He starts to put his money up and says are you sure??

YES. I WILL PAY FOR MINE!!! You need to pay for YOURS.

Him: oh, so..

I hand over my card and pay for mine.. add a tip.. done.. sipping carefree trying to figure out how to ditch him..

I mean..how you gonna offer to buy me a drink if you don't have barely enough to buy your own?

He informs me that he has to go to the bathroom.. I think thank gaaaaawd now I can ditch him and go on my merry lil way..

I saw him a few minutes later breathing dragon fire into some other chick's ear..

Fellas.. and ladies also.. hell EVERYBODY..if you don't have the funds.. don't offer to do ish you can't afford.. it only embarrasses you and makes you look like a Mofo. Not to mention, you won't be getting the digits either. My guy friends said this mofo probably thought this was how you get a chick to buy a drink but listen..he got the right one..cuz I didn't need his arse to buy me a drink and I certainly was NOT about to purchase his..mmmk. Shenanigans like this..is exactly why I'm STILL single. I didn't need the Great Love Debate to answer that for me.

So have you had this experience before?

This song seemed appropriate.. kinda..

y'all stay classy!

Ain't too proud to beg mofos

Posted by ~Meik on , , ,
Oh Mofoville.. what a tangled web mofos web when they try to deceive..

Uh oh..what's wrong Meik?

I'm so glad you asked. I KNOW I can't be the only one that has stumbled across the panhandling on social media sites. KNOWING dayum full hell well in a hand-basket with lit newports and gasoline that these mofos ain't trying to raise money for some "woe is me" type of cause.

What happened Meik?

oooooh but I'm so glad you asked!

Well, there are several examples..let's start with the few that I have heard rumblings of from people..

---Mofos hitting up everyone they can think of that has a job on Facebook by telling them a "oooh I lost my job and my bills are piling up can you help me by donating $1000" type ish.. ummm you don't get unemployment or ...???

---Or I'm raising money for my child's basketball team.. but it's not basketball season tho..oh well see..what had happened was.. we raising money to take them on a trip to Disney..can you donate $2000--- chile... bye. What happened to the chirren selling candy for this stuff??

---Or my personal favorite..hitting up folks in their inboxes for gas money because the time it took you to search thru your friends list and type out that message a gazillion times, you could have been gone down to the blood center to donate plasma to get up some gas money chile.. and how you paying for internet??

---Or.. the I'm sick and shut in and can't pay my bills.. umm but weren't you just out and about a couple nights ago posting pics twerking and popping on a handstand ..you didn't get any funds for showing your arse then??

---I'm getting married and can't afford the ish I want for the wedding..can you donate money so I can put down payments on the ish? You betta carry your arse down to the Justice of the dayum Peace and save up for that wedding you claim you just have to have.. if that's all you want then perhaps you should re-examine wtf you are doing engaged..ok??

---the most recent one--sending out messages to folks that you have offended on multiple occasions that you have NEVER met and asking them to help you get out of a sticky arse situation like oh IDK.. carrying your arse thousands of miles away from home because YOU have finally found some poor suspecting heffa that likes you and then you find out ish just ain't going right and her mammy hands you less than $50 and tells you to carry your arse back to where you came from..now you need help purchasing a one way ticket home..but to soften the blow you inform folks that they CAN contribute to the total cost of less than a $200 ticket... *blink blink blink* (yes this one has me puzzled) and can anyone help fund this trip because you don't have a job, and as long as some folks have known you..well truth be told, you ain't never had one.

You want ME and my pockets to do what?!!!


First one.. EYE personally would NEVER ask folks I don't dayum know..ain't never met for money to get MYSELF or MY FAMILY out of a situation that I CREATED. I would exhaust all avenues, like going to other family members, trying to get a loan from the bank, put ish on a credit card, go give plasma, pawn some ish, do something strange for a lil change before I sit my arse in front of my computer and type out a message begging for money for MY bills. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I don't know about y'alls pockets but Meik Meik don't work to pay for other people's bills or the sticky arse situations they get themselves into. I don't work to fund bogus arse trips, weddings, funes, sick and shut in funds, or any of that unless I know it's a legit cause. Now lemme say this.. if you are seeking funds for a legit project on kickstarter or one of those sites, that's different because you aren't just trying to take mofos on a ride..especially if you have the product to back it up and you are actually TRYING to do some ish.

Second one.. Do folks think before they hit enter or nawl? I'm gonna go with nawl, they just don't dayum think but yet they come up with an idea that random strangers will want to help them out of their drama. chile bye.

Third one.. I see nothing wrong with friends starting a fund or asking for help if they have been hospitalized for a long time and it's the truth and they need help with grocery cards or meals cooked..that's a LEGIT reason..but if you just asking for food cuz your food stamps ain't got there yet.. you betta learn to stock up on ramen noodles for your times of need cuz I don't feel sorry for folks that are able and just refuse to help themselves.

Fourth one.. Do any of these pity messages even work??? I'm gonna assume they do because mofos keep doing it.. they are just as bad as the mofos that stand off the exit ramps on I-77.. and are there really folks dumb enough to give these mofos credit card info or bank info or send wire transfers cuz..

My point is.. quit relying on strangers to help you out of a jam that probably could have been prevented. Mofos lost their monkey rabbit arse minds outchea in these social media streets.. you have to help yourself before anyone else is going to even remotely think of helping you. Scamming someone will get you nowhere but probably behind bars at some point.

Have y'all had crazy messages like this hit your DM's or inbox??

-Stay Classy