A dose of mofo'n advice

Hello fam! 'Tis time for another guest blogger (well frankly, I just haven't had time to write so I'm letting you guys tell your stories/opinions ect..)
Antyhoo..let's welcome my latest guest blogger to the fold.. ENJOY! And of course, my comments are sprinkled throughout..
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Guest Blogger: The Good Doctor


...And an F was not given by all…

Sorry, that should be at the end of the story, right?

Everyone likes to say "they" whenever something bad happens to them. That's it, if there is no one else to blame but yourself, blame it on the Editorial THEY.

((I blame the mofos and Black Ty aka Tyrese for ish personally *shrugs*))

"None of this would've happened if THEY weren't walking down the
middle of the sidewalk," said the coke-n-smack fiend who mowed down a
group of school kids on a Tuesday afternoon when he saw bats flying
out of their book bags.

Or …

"You know, I could've been a doctor, but THEY say I should go into
porn because I have magnificent breasts," said the 50-year-old
leathery porn star to the nurse, just before her third breast
augmentation surgery and tummy tuck.

The Great and All-Powerful Editorial "THEY" is the cause of all our
problems. If THEY blah blah blah, then my life would be infinitely
better.

That logic is faulty, at best, and downright bullish, at worst.

And I'll believe it when my ish turns purple and smells of rainbow sherbet.
((* blink blink* and you might wanna find a doctor if that happens cuz you’re insides might be shot to hell and back ya know))

We had an interesting discussion the other night about peen moves on
dates by dudes.

It was a discussion that progressed from the earlier topic: Debunking
the urban myth that if you blew an air bubble into a woman's vagina,
it would form in her bloodstream, move quickly to her brain and she
would stroke out.

((pause. Now what now? *crosses legs foreverrrrrr*))

First, just a cursory look at the female anatomy, you can see there is
only one way out, and that is the vaginal opening. The muscles in the
vagina are designed to force things out of the body, not to keep it
in. This is why it really is a miracle babies are made.
((Thanks a lot.. I still was hoping Storks delivered em.))

Second, who besides curiously dumb 10-year-olds actually believe that?
Yet, there we were, grown-ass men, discussing this seriously FOR THE
THIRD TIME.
((well.. you already know how ree-donk-ulous it is..no need for my .08))

Ladies, if you didn't know by now, dudes never grow up. We will be in
wheelchairs at the nursing home, and whip out our old, wrinkly, hairy
balls to try and impress the hot blonde nurse who brings us our heart
medication before the 4:30 supper call. Get over it.
((why not the black nurse with the braids or the natural? HUH? ANSWER THAT ONE! Sorry.. I digress))

Anyway, we were discussing peen moves on dates.

One dude took a lady to a Chipotle for supper one time, decided it
wasn't going to work, got to the checkout, paid for his meal, then
turned to his date and said, "I'm gonna go grab a table."

HE BOLTED THE CHECKOUT WITHOUT PAYING FOR HER MEAL.

Peen move.
((----insert my Blanket Jackson blank stare. HE DID WHAT NOW??!!! I mean first one..it ain’t like Chipotle was gonna break this mofo’s wallet, so he couldn’t spare a $20 cuz it wasn’t gonna work. WOW. JUST WOWWWWWWWWW.. blink blink blink blink))

He said he knew that it wasn't going to work out, that he wasn't going
to get any action at the end of the night, and, frankly, he was moving
anyway, so what was the point?
((Again, when did dating just become all about sex? This new-fangled ish twerk team dances on my last good nerve))


LESSON: Valid points, but still, you pay for the lady's meal. That's
just courtesy. If you ask a lady to a meal, no matter the expectation
for sex after or not, even if it is just a friendly thing, you pay for
the meal.

((SCREEEEEEECH!!!!!!!! Pump the breaks, run over the peen. No, those are not valid points. He shouldn’t have gone on the date EXPECTING a got darn thing but a good time meaning good convo, laughs, and at best a handshake and a church hug with maybe a promise of a next date. If he was moving, his raggely arse shoulda said that and maybe just have gone dutch..now I’m mad for the poor girl. ))

I know women are strong, independent and are perfectly capable of
paying for their food and booze, however it's just common courtesy. If
you initiate the date, you pay for both meals.
((least we agree on that))

The inverse is also true. If a lady asks a dude out on a date, which
is very acceptable these days, the dude should expect the lady to pay.
He can offer, as he should, because that is also courteous. But
ladies, you ask a dude out, expect to pay.
((it’s courteous if he offers, but even sexier if he just does it and tells her not to worry about it. Don’t get it twisted.. women have no problem (well most of us) paying for the date..or even throwing in the tip))

THAT'S WHAT EQUALITY IS ALL ABOUT.

Dudes have hang-ups about ladies paying for ish when it's the dude's
place to pay. I can understand that. I've had that hang-up before. I
got over it. And you should, too. Nothing is more sexy than a lady who
can take care of herself.

((and a man that can appreciate it is sexy too *swoons*))

Have that conversation. It's awkward, I know, but man up and discuss it.

Now, onto the next peen move:

Have you ever been in the zone before? Like totally and completely in
the Wormhole of Concentration that everything around you melts away,
and nothing else matters in that moment in time?
((*I don’t like worms so I don’t know that I have a worm hole* I’m just sayin..))

And then someone walks up and invades your wormhole with their
presence and threatens to collapse it in an epic display of cosmic
proportions, like a sun going supernovae and filling the night sky
with bright streams of radiation.

Yet all you can see are pretty pictures of rage in your eyes.

"I really need to go out," she said. "I need to go out on a date."

This is code for "I NEED TO GET LAID SUMTHIN' AWFUL!"
((pause. When I say I need to go out on a date, I mean I need to go out on a date, I need a companion, good convo, laughs, and just someone to hang out with..WITHOUT the expectation of giving away my cookies..hell this bakery is CLOSED until further notice..but that’s another story))

To which I replied, "Well I would, but I'm too busy."

And I turned back to what I was doing, re-entered the Wormhole and
engaged the warp drive.

The poor girl turned around and walked away. Hours later, I realized
what I had done: I had shut that poor girl down in her moment of need
and denied myself what could have been a good time with a cute lady.

The first step in fixing a problem is admitting your faults.
((**nods..right right..))

LESSON: Always be aware of what's going on around you and don't shut
yourself off to possibilities. It's fine to get cold feet, or if
you're just not feelin' it. Be honest about it.
((wow..I agree again!))

But the worse thing you can do is to let things get in the way of a
good time, and good people. Work will be there in the morning. Go out,
have a good time. See people. Eat. Drink. Be merry. Get laid. If not
that, have fun anyway.

The only thing bein' a career dude or lady will get you is more money
and an empty house.

((yep, I’ve learned that the hard way..no one to share ish with is a lonely existence *sniff sniff*))

Some other thoughts: Even if your one-night stand wasn't that great,
be courteous anyway and respect their dignity. Don't make it more
awkward than it already is. Offer breakfast. If they just want to go
home, offer a ride back if they don't have their car. Or call a cab.

The sex may have been turrible, but if you are courteous, they will
leave feel in' better about the whole thing, and about themselves.

MOST OF ALL: Don’t give an f.
((Well, I think my guest blogger has hit on some important lessons and summed it up quite nicely, don’t you think?))

Until Later,
Meik

Gone Too Soon

What's happenin fam?

This week has been tough. A man that I respected and thought of as a dear friend passed away this week. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around this, so for me the best way to do that is to write. So bear with me, I'll be rambling, sniffing and snotting and laughing about my memories.
Now, some folks may be thinking why is this man so important... well, if it weren't for him, The Mofo Chronicles probably wouldn't exist..

Stroll with me down memory lane for a min, back to 1998. Xavier Timothy Hall puts the word out on the street that he is casting for a fashion show. Well, hell, that's right up my alley, so of course I went to the meeting and being the great guy Tim was, he just let whoever showed up at that meeting be in the show. That first fashion show is key for a few reasons:
1. I met the man that I thought I was going to marry and have lil brown babies and skip off into the sunset with aka KING MOFO *blink blink blink blink* (find past blogs for that info..I'm not rehashing that story right now)
2. I learned my way around a stage
3. I became more comfortable with myself
4. I was able to stop thinking so much on stage, and just let it flow
5. Most importantly, I learned how to not take things so seriously, and to just have fun and LAUGH

I can remember for that first show begging Tim to let me be in the bridal portion of the show..I wanted to sashay across that stage with a dress and get my model on ..ya'll don't hear me lol. Tim only had 3 or 4 dresses..and 6 girls, well, I won that round LOL.. (guess he taught me how to go for what I want and not to give up til I get it)

Next up Tim wrote a play.. A tribute to Black History -at the time I didn't really grasp the magnitude of this thang, and being silly college students, we didn't really even learn our lines.. rehearsals in Tim's apartment, me being bossy wanting to rewrite stuff, but in the end, the show turned out well.. let me tell you why.. because Tim was so easy going, and he encouraged us to ad-lib, just get the point across that we are paying a tribute to black history, we rattled off names of blacks that impacted the world and paved the way for us (and had no clue who any of them were..sad I know), but this particular show,it was a play and a fashion show, but Tim incorporated local talent, young girls that he was trying to help build their self esteem, keep them from hanging out with the wrong crowds, and allow them to see black people that they can look up to, again, all that went over my head back then. Anyway, we did tributes to the Motown greats, the Four Tops, Smokey Robinson, and The Supremes. I recall right before I was supposed to go out on stage as Diana Ross, Tim says, we have the wrong music, but don't let that stop you.. again, I learned how to roll with it, and this particular show, I started to learn that I like talking out the side of my neck and making people laugh. We tackled topics such as segregation, racism and the list goes on and on. I can honestly say, when I look back on my college experience, those productions are part of the highlights and helped shape who I became.

I can recall the many talks that Tim and I had about my goals and dreams and he always encouraged me. Of course as life goes on, people lose touch with each other, but I reconnected with Tim via Facebook a few years ago. I discovered he was still crazy, and learned that he was doing big things himself, he was following another dream of his as a comedian. He worked his full time job, took care of his children, and still hit the road to do what he loved, and that passion allowed him to work with the likes of Steve Harvey and other comedians that have been on BET etc..

The last time I saw Tim, he was performing for our alumni reunion, but I missed his performance munking around with King Mofo (again, a whole nutha story) but I did catch him before he left and got the chance to give him a big ole hug and tell him how crazy he was and that I'm proud of him.

Over the past couple of years, we just talked on fb, leaving crazy comments on each others statuses, and as much as I blink blink blink.. I met my match cuz he'd blink my arse right back down lol. He also loved Michael Jackson just like I do and would go to a mofo's throaK yes.. THROAK if they talk out of pocket about him. He would come up with the most craziest things for me to ask some of the artists that I have interviewed for Soul Train, but chile I ain't even bout to fix my lips to ask some of the things he wanted to know lol. The past few days, I keep waiting on Tim to post that he was just kidding..that he's not really gone, and I keep posting the most ridiculous statuses, waiting on him to call me out and blink at me, but of course, he's not going to.

In December, Tim had a brain tumor removed and he was fighting his way back to being well again so he could return to the stage. Unfortunately, he lost..no.. no..he didn't lose, because he beat the odds, doctors didn't expect him to make it this long.. and with the grace of God, Tim was able to celebrate his birthday, and see just how loved he was, so for that I am glad. Read about his experience here..his last interview just 2 weeks before he died: http://douglassalumni.blogspot.com/2012/03/xavier-tim-hall-sometimes-you-just.html?m=1

Anyway, I'm rambling, but I know that Tim is in heaven on a stage telling jokes, and maybe just maybe MJ is in the audience cracking up at him. If I had the chance to talk to him one more time, I would tell him Thank You. (then I'd ask him why didn't he intervene and keep me away from King Mofo ..I kid, but I would....blink. blink. blink..) My heart breaks for his children, his family, fiance, and all of his friends and fans, but I do know this.. he wouldn't want folks crying, he would want folks laughing ..because as he says "Laughter is good for the Soul".. so I leave y'all with this.. no matter what you are going through in your life, never lose your sense of humor.. it's the best medicine that you can get for free :-) well.. never mind..Imma leave that alone. Tim has inspired me, in the short time he was on this earth he managed to accomplish his goals and dreams and maintain a positive attitude despite his health problems. I will always try to remember his outlook on life the next time (which will probably be in a few hours) I feel the urge to complain and whine about my job, or any other issues that I have going on. Thank you Tim for reminding me to stay positive.

RIP Xavier Timothy Hall.. You will be missed dearly, but never forgotten!

Meik..

Can you Feel It? Michael Jackson: The Immortal World Tour

Hello Fam!

Wow. Where to start? As I told you in the last post, I went to Cali a few weeks ago and one of the things that was on my to-do list was to visit Michael Jackson's resting place. Now if you know me, then you ALREADY know..this was something I had to do. So without going into too much detail, I just want you to remember this as I jump into this blog. It was one of the most surreal unexplainable moments I have ever felt. If you go back through my blogs, you will understand how much I looked up to Michael Jackson and the impact he had on me and my own career.

BUT ANYHOO... This blog ain't about all that.. but what it is about is a tribute to the King of Pop.

I had the opportunity to check out Michael Jackson: The Immortal World Tour by Cirque Du Soleil and I have one thing off the top to say: THIS IS HOW YOU DO A TRIBUTE! Everyone that has tried.. and plans to do one..see the show and take notes!!

I'm not going to give the show away, but I wanted to tell ya'll a couple things about the show.

Michael Jackson.

This show embodied his spirit. His essence. His message. His music.

The show reminds me of a story, a very familiar story. The story of magic, the story of wonderment, the story of curiosity, the story of life.

What do you mean Meik?

I'm glad you asked! Stick with me on this..

The show revolves around MJ's music, dances, videos, just everything MJ. Throw in some acrobatics, some theatrics, with a little dash of walking down memory lane, and you have a magical performance.

I'm gonna hit some highlights that stood out for me.

The show centers around a Mime, and everyone has their own interpretation of his presence, but to me, he represents the spirit of the King of Pop. He takes you on a journey from outside the gates of Neverland, to inside where the magic happens. From celebrating MJ's love of animals, to reminiscing on the Jackson 5, to his strong plea to help save mother earth, the show is jam packed. The show reminds me of going down the yellow brick road to see The Wiz or if you're extra fancy, The Wizard of Oz...except you never get to see the Wiz, instead you just hear his voice throughout the ranch aka show. Each performance is like looking into different rooms at Neverland and seeing an interpretation of those MJ classics we all know and love.

If you've seen "This is It" then a lot of the scenes in this show will be very familiar. I can't tell you how many times I had to blink away the tears upon realizing just how awesome this show is and how some of the scenes he created for the tour were supposed to look, but one thing is missing. Michael.

For me, this show hit home, because just a couple of weeks ago, I was clinging to the door of the Mausoleum where he was laid to rest, and then at the show, I realized, he is physically gone from us, but his spirit lives on. His music lives on. I looked around and as the song "Black or White" played, I noticed, everyone of all shades, were united, singing and crying. MJ's music did that.. he united people from different backgrounds. Michael's message of LOVE was also present, with artists from the show holding red glowing hearts that conjured up MJ's spirit on stage as his image appeared on screen as he sang "I'll be There"..I tell you what...there wasn't a dry eye in the house. Just thinking about it now has me about to ugly cry again.

Here are some other quick highlights:

BUBBLES. Now you know darn well you can't pay tribute to MJ without showing Bubbles the Chimp some love, and I thought this was done tastefully with a slight comedic tone..I absolutely loved this addition,especially when Bubbles and the Mime embraced at the end.

"Human Nature" -one of my favorite songs, but I didn't quite get why the childhood MJ on the screen was Asian...if the paper I'm reading says MJ as a child sitting on the moon. blink. I'm just saying..*shrugs* and it hurt my soul to the core to hear a child ask his mother "Ain't this Chris Brown's song?" I just knew lightening was about to strike him down.

"Thriller" - this was another hard one for me to watch, because I could remember where MJ was trying to take it in the "This is It" show, but it just wasn't quite there yet, probably because MJ wasn't in it :-/

Scream- I thought they could have done more, but they didn't so I am just going to leave it alone.

My FAVORITE performances of the night: "Smooth Criminal," "I Just Can't Stop Loving You," and "They Don't Care About Us."

"Earth Song" and "Will you be there" started the waterworks for me, and "I'll be There" finished it off. I loved these performances also.

Another highlight: A one legged dancer. You have to see it to believe it and when I tell you he WENT IN HARD.. whew.. he was one of my favorite dancers!

It was also exciting to see another familiar face...if you watched "The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty" reality show or have paid attention in their concerts in the past, including MJ, then you know this drummer: SUGARFOOT Moffett! That man is a beast on the drums! GET IT GET IT!!

I oh so wished Orianthi was on guitar, but the chick that was on guitar Desiree Bassett..she and Tina Guo on Cello were the ish! Loved em!

Lastly, if you have ever played the video game: "The Michael Jackson Experience" then you are good to go, you will recognize a lot of the dances, and have to literally contain yourself like I did to not bust out in the aisles and just twerk it hard like nobody's watching.

My only real complaint for the evening: A lot of the crowd just sat there like lumps on a log, can you nod your head? Clap? Sing? SOMETHING?! The crowd didn't get it popping until after intermission and THAT is not how an MJ show is supposed to go. If I was flexible, and could dance without all my ailments, and could turn flips, or even hum halfway decent I swear fo gawd I would have auditioned for this show..

My advice: If the show comes to your city..GO SEE IT! It's worth every expensive penny to see a tribute fitting for a King.


I love you MJ! *muah*

Until Later..

Meik.

A Wet Winter Nightmare

What's up fam?
I hope everyone is well, it's been a bit of a sad year thus far with the loss of a former coworker, Don Cornelius, and then Whitney Houston just to name a few. May they all RIP.

However, this blog isn't about to be a sad boo hoo sort of post. I just got back from the City of Angels aka LA and let me just say...I LOVED IT! Of course, you know it didn't go off without some drama tho right? Come on now..this is Meik.

Travel with me down memory lane..all the way to last week ..see I didn't take you as far back as I normally do..but antyhoo.. picture this.. me, in a hotel room all by my lonesome ..and no.. if your nasty rabbit arse minds are thinking of something dirty then you probably want to stop reading b/c you're about to be sorely disappointed. I digress.

Anyway, I have a habit at home of turning the water on in the sink and letting it run until it's the right temp..and most times, I walk away to do something else for the next minute or so, I'm impatient, ADD, or whatever you want to call it, I just figure I can multi-task.

So, I go into the bathroom.. turn the water on..it's ice cold. I figure, it should heat up in a couple minutes right? So I had EVERY intention of standing there and curling my hair, but ring ring ring..the phone rang.. ooooh lemme go see who it is..

Well...my phone convo lasts about 5 minutes..(water still running right?) I hang up, and I bet you can't even guess what happens next.

I'll wait.

blink.

blink.

blink.

I walk around the corner and Niagara Mofo'n Falls greets me!

I mean the water had overflowed from the sink..washed away everything I had on the sink.. floated down it's own lil river to the floor..and the water has even seeped out of the bathroom..into the room..under the door..and into the room across the hall.

I AM MORTIFIED.

I AM THE BIGGEST MOFO!!!

So I do what any proud mofo does.. LIE.


First, I turned the water off of course after my panic moment, then I grab sheets, blankets, towels, any and everything to sop up the water..then I rescue my things throw em in the suitcase..then I think...wait.. I gotta call the front desk..so I call and tell them..SOMETHING has flooded the bathroom..and water is everywhere! (I swear fo gawd I could've won an Oscar my dayum self with this performance)..antyhoo.. I then come up with the bright idea that water CANNOT be in the sink..and I clean up the water on the sink counter.. then take a cup and am dipping the water out tossing it in the toilet.. I gotta hurry before the janitor comes...and the remaining water isn't draining in the sink fast enough. f. So just as the janitor knocks at the door, I scoop the last lil bit of water into the toilet..whew. I am hoping to NOT get charged for this ish. After all that, my baby hairs have parted and rolled up and are plastered to my head..hell, who needs gel when sweat works just fine? LOL.

I open the door..and my performance gets even better.. tears welling up in my eyes "Sir I don't know what happened..I was in here minding my own business and went in to the bathroom and water was everywhere!!!" blink blink blink..

don't ya'll judge me.

Thank gawd the room across from me was empty.. hell it was 11am at this point, they must have left already and I was about to check out anyway, but this just made the process a lil soggy..

So janitor man says "no problemo" and promises to fix it. whew. he fell for it.

Then my ride calls.. I tell them to come up and help me get my ish so we can get like MJ and Beat It.. and here he comes wanting to ask questions.. what happened..I don't understand where all this water came from etc.. SIR.. pick up that bag and let's GOOOOOOOOOO....

I never told him what happened.. but I guess he knows now LOL..

I checked out.. and to my utter shock.. I wasn't charged for the mess. God is good.

BUT in my defense..that water shouldn't have done rose up like it had bass in it n ish..hell it should have been draining like a normal mofo'n sink, but clearly it was clogged up with gawd knows what..

Lesson Learned: Stay in the bathroom while the mofo'n water is running...and continue to perfect the art of crying on cue..since it works so well.
That is all.

Until Later..
A dry and sane Meik..

Love, Peace, and Soul: My Thanks to an Icon

Hey fam,
I honestly don't even know where to start..so forgive me if I ramble a bit.
I guess the best place to start is RIP Don Cornelius. Innovator. Trailblazer. Icon. Legend. The list goes on and on.

I woke up this morning to the news that Don Cornelius had died. For those of you that don't know..Don is the creator and the original host of the show Soul Train.
I sat here in shock for several minutes then boo hoo'd my face off as if I had lost a family member. I guess technically I have. Many of you know I am a contributor/writer to the soultrain.com website, so in my head at least, I am a part of the Soul Train family..in a distant cousin kind of way? maybe? Just go with it.

Everyone has Soul Train memories of some sort. I always ask the artists that I interview to tell me about Don, what was he like? What kind of advice did he give? I also always ask them to tell me their favorite memories of the show. I always LOVE their answers.

So, I thought what better way than to honor a man that paved the way for so many than to answer my own question.

So, Meik.. What is your favorite Soul Train memory?

I'm so glad you asked.

I can recall that growing up Saturday morning was "clean up" time at our house. My sister and I would split it up, one take the upstairs, the other take downstairs.. I'd always want downstairs so I could sneak and watch Soul Train and pretend I'm cleaning with no one around..I mean, yeah mama (I know she's reading)...it really took me an hour to dust and vacuum.. I'd vacuum during the commercials. LOL. But I'd stand in front of the TV..and I'm talking right up on the damn thing and I'd watch and listen to Don's interview style and I'd take in the responses the artists gave, and of course I loved to watch the performances and the dancers. I LOVED the Soul Train line, shoot, I still love doing it now.(Ya'll know how WE do lol) Then when Shemar Moore started hosting my focus changed to drooling over him, but that's another story..and this ain't the time for that.

But, I have to say my favorite episodes of all time is when the Jackson 5 performed Dancing Machine and Michael did the robot on ya'lls arses and it was like WHOAAAAA...Did he just?? He did!! That was a sign right there..that he was about to change the dance game foreverrrrrr Moonwalk anyone? (of course I saw that episode in reruns) and I also loved the episode when Marvin Gaye was on there ..1974 (I wasn't born yet..so again, reruns) but his honesty and candid responses to the interview questions Don and the Soul Train gang threw his way made me love him even more, and I realized..he was absolutely hilarious in addition to being talented. I could go on and on with the episodes that I love, but we'd be here all day.


Even today, every time Centric or Bounce TV shows a Soul Train episode, I stop what I'm doing and stand right up on the TV as if I'm 12 years old all over again, mesmerized that people that look like me (black that is) are on television on a music based show. Now if you recall my blog back when MJ died in 2009, I told ya'll that I was always interested in interviewing people, shoot, ask my sister, she was who I practiced on..and if she didn't want to play right, I'd interview my damn self LOL. But, I say all that to say.. here I am nearly 20 years later, still mesmerized by the groundbreaking show that Don Cornelius had the foresight to create. I thank him for giving our artists a place to showcase their music, fam, not every African American artist could just run over to American Bandstand back then (learn your history), I thank Don for laying down the foundation and building a show that everyone could enjoy and talk about for years to come, I thank Don for his vision, because soultrain.com wouldn't even exist today without him. I especially thank him because without him, I wouldn't have the opportunity to write for the website. Writing for Soul Train has been one of the most rewarding experiences in my career thus far. I get to interview some of the same artists that Don once interviewed, some of the artists that appeared on the show, it's totally surreal. Talking to the artists that I watched on television growing up, the artists that only Don would lend his spotlight to and allow them to show the world their talent..I can't really explain to ya'll how it feels, except to say that every interview that is published to the website, I would often wonder if he was reading them and hoping that I did them justice just as he did years ago. I am grateful to artists like Kashif,Betty Wright, Lenny Williams, Cherrelle, Alexander O'Neal, Christopher Williams, and the list goes on and on..I thank you guys for sharing your memories of Soul Train and Don Cornelius with me. A lot of people often ask me why I interview "old school" artists, and my answer is 1. Because I mofo'n want to and 2. For those that don't know a lot of the artists, and don't know their story, I want to tell their stories so they aren't forgotten and so that people know where the music today comes from, Don didn't give these artists an outlet for them to be forgotten about, why not talk to them, and learn more about how they got to where they are and what they think of music today.

Anyway, after all this rambling, it boils down to one thing: Thank you Don Cornelius for breaking down racial barriers and allowing us to come along for a funky soul filled ride. You will be missed, but because of you, Soul Train lives on. Love, Peace, and Soul..

Shameika Rene'


Share your favorite Soul Train memories with me!

Chatty Cathy Mofos

What's happenin fam?

Seems I have another guest blogger this week! (this is where you get excited)...As usual..my comments will be sprinkled throughout.. ENJOY!


***************************************************************
Guest Blogger: Ashley Poag is a Marketing Specialist and Blogger for InsigniaGroup.com.


Since when did it become ok for you to violate all social norms and human decency just because you are on the dayum internet! It looks like there are a lot of grown ass men out there that need to take an internet etiquette course. Why do I say that?
Well, I was minding my own business, working late and yes signed into Facebook when suddenly I heard the little “BOOP” sound indicating that I had a message. Great! Nothing like some late night chit chat to break up the monotony. Well, is it bestie? long time whoever? Or cousin so and so? Nope, it’s a random ass dude from high school (RADFHS). What does he want? Never really talk to him, barely even know him.


((Meik: now see.. this ain't finna go good at all. If it's a random dude you don't know or barely talk to.. RUN.. listen to auntie Meik.. I've learned my lesson about idle chit chat ish with mofos))

RADFHS: Hey how do I know you?

I thought this was strange but, maybe he is doing some late night, clean out my friends’ list type of stuff. Hey! I do it from time to time. You know, get rid of the mofos you don’t actually know, or want to know, the spammers etc. So, I proceed with the conversation. We discover yes, we went to the same high school, rode the same bus, had some mutual friends and then…

RADFHS: Yes, wow! You do look familiar Cute (**side eye** hmm k)

((Meik: blink. blink. blink. now see, if he didn't know you, WHY are you entertaining this mofo??!! Why jog his rabbit arse memory .. his game is wack))


Me: uh Thanks, you have a beautiful wife and kids too (Don’t start nothing won’t be nothing right? Smdh, so very wrong)

((Meik: blink. blink. blink.))

RADFHS: I’m bored (At this point you’d think I would know to exit the conversation. But, I didn’t)

Me: Well, I’m taking a break from work, so you’re cool

RADFHS: I’m actually doing something but I can’t say..I’m ashamed (**record skip**)

Me: (*PAUSE*) WELL, I hope it’s legal

RADFHS: not smoking or drinking but if you really want to know. I’m sorry but I’m beating off.

((Meik: *spits drink out* now what now?!!! Heck's naw.. LOG OFF IMME-JET-LEY!! He needs to go handle his bodily functions with his wife.. whew chile hellz nawl.. this calls for a UNFRIEND and BLOCK!))

Me: Wow that’s so disrespectful and gross and I can clearly see you are married.. So do me a favor and delete this before your wife checks your messages..And I will pretend you were either drunk or someone hacked your profile and this conversation never happened.

((Meik: Ma'am. Girl. HELLLURRRRRR.. why are you still talking to this nasty arse mofo??!! Why are you telling him how to protect himself from the wrath of his wife?! You should have BEEN done logged off the dayum internet!))

And then ish got real different…

RADFHS: Oh this not (RADFHS) this his home boy, he’s not on, he left. This his friend **hee-honk** I hope I didn’t offend you but you asked but any way let’s start over hell (RADFHS) left is Facebook open and I thought I would browse for beautiful women.

((Meik: Bye MOFO...that arse is LYING.. DELETE. BLOCK. THE END))

People what kind of jack arse does something like this? I will tell you, someone that simply don’t know how to act! Just because you on the dayum internet does not mean you can say and do whatever the hell you wanna do. Being the Dick Tracy type of chick that I am, I had to investigate RADFHS’s friends list to see if the name that he gave me was on there. And, sure enough either this donkey was so dumb he gave up the little bit of anonymity that he had and gave me his name OR the “W” word scared the ish out of RADFHS and he threw his homeboy under the bus. Men do me and all innocent women, who are minding their own business out there on the World Wide Web, a favor: if this is you or your home boy please go get yourselves some netiquette.

Meik: I do believe the lesson learned here is F that idle chit chat ish with random folks..if it's THAT important, tell em to inbox you wtf they wanna say. If you don't know HOW we know each other, that's fine.. just don't take it to that next level with all that nasty dirty talk and you got a wife in the other room. Sir. BYE. I leave you with this: Would you want your significant other online trying to holla at other people and talking dirty to them? No? Oh. RESPECT is still a virtue that mofos have yet to learn. *sigh*



Stay Classy with some sense please!
~Meik

The Boo Boo Bandit

What's up Fam? I have decided to try something new.. and allow guest bloggers..

WHAAAAAT???

Yes, you heard me right.. I'm finding out that others have MOFO stories they want to share, and frankly, I don't have the time to write THEIR stories for them, so why not just let these folks tell their own stories? Geez Meik..that's so smart.. ooooh I know.

So I'll stop rambling for now and let you enjoy the first installment.. I warn you.. this ish is HEE-LARIOUS! and of course.. my comments are sprinkled throughout.. LOL..

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Guest Blogger: Gangsta Princess

Hell dates don’t really happen? At least that’s what I used to think, until I actually went on one myself.

It was Summer 2011, one of my homeboys from out of town was in town for the weekend, so why not have a party? In traditional house-party fashion, someone had to make a beer run, so 2 of my boys, one of my best friends, and myself decided to make the run to the store. We decide to go to the gas station that is literally 1 minute away from the house. Run in, run out, no problems!

There are two lines at the gas station, I get in one line, and my girl gets in the other line. I finish up before her, and as I’m about to exit the store she yells, “This man just said that he thinks you are beautiful.” So I turn around to see who said this, and it’s the cashier. So of course, I say thanks, shoot him a smile, and proceed to exit out of the store. When my friend makes it to the car, she has his name and phone number written on the back of a receipt, and tells me I should call him.

Shallow is thy name at times, and I completely understand that is wrong, but hell, he works at a gas station, I’m not feeling that. So my friends give me the lecture of “don’t judge him yet, it could be his part-time job, you never know, give him a chance..blah, blah.” We all know that alcoholic beverages give us liquid coverage, so I decided I would go ahead and give him a call and play with his mind. I call him up, we chit chat, he asks if he can take me out to dinner sometime, I say okay, we ended the conversation.


((Meik's comment: Now YOU know this aint finna go well atall.. playing with someone's mind = some munked up mess.. but do what you do boo))

Next day, he called me and we had the opportunity to talk more and I had a sober mind to ask the important questions, and instead of going with my gut feeling, I go with what my friends said, “be open.” He tells me he is 23 (too young), has 2 jobs and the gas station is his part-time (okay friends were right about the part-time gig), has a college degree (plus), has a car (plus), and has an apartment and lives down the street from me (double plus). So we make plans to have dinner the following day.
So far, so good, right?


Originally he was going to cook me dinner, but got delayed, so decided upon going out to dinner somewhere. We decided I would meet him at his place cuz I didn’t want him knowing where I lived, and we’d just ride together to the restaurant. I opted to drive b/c I like to have control over the situation, if I’m ready to go I can leave, and if you are crazy I can leave you.


((Meik's comment: PAUSE. why couldn't his arse just meet you at the restaurant? I'm betting that this is a situation that you FINTA regret.. but lemme keep reading..))

Called him up, let him know I was outside, he gets in the car, and things got confusing immediately….
He has on shorts and support socks/hose that come all the way up, sneakers, and a plaid shirt. Totally confused on the compression socks, clueless as to why he doesn’t have jeans on instead, and also taking into consideration how confused others will be as well. So I say “I’m not really that hungry, so we can just go to Applebees.” Why did I pick Applebees??? Because nobody hardly ever goes to that joint!! Lol


((Meik's comment: blink. blink. blink. Com-who-socks? FUH WHAT? and I woulda left his arse right there at his house and went the hell on somewhere errrr I like Applebee's.. but I digress.. ))

We get to Applebees, and the waitress offers a table with stools, I say cool, he says no I need a booth. I ask WHY, he says “I’ll tell you at the table.” Really confused at this point because I didn’t know it was a huge ordeal about seating arrangements. But okay, we sit down and order, I get water and a $7 salad. He orders a steak, sprite and sweet tea, which totals about $25 (these prices are important). After ordering the food, I have to steer the convo back to why we had to sit in a booth. He then explains that he has severe diabetes and has to give himself insulin multiple times a day, and just recently got out of the hospital for knee swelling and fluid on his knees. So this of course explains the compression/surgical socks, or whatever. Of course at this point, I do feel bad for judging his outfit choice, and sympathize with his health issues, so everything is explained and should go well from this point forward…until…..

((Meik's comment: wayment..I get the mofo has issues..but he couldn't cover them joints up.. throw on some sweats, jeans, long johns..SOMETHING????))

The check comes!! He pulls out his credit card and asked me if I wanted to split it 50/50…I flat out said NO, however I have no problem leaving a tip…but seriously? Did I eat a steak? Did I even have a soft drink? Hell NO I am not paying half of anything! So he looks at me like I was speaking a foreign language, and reluctantly paid for the meal.

((Meik's comment: blink. blink. blink. now forgive me if I'm missing something..but didn't he ASK YOU out? AND you drove?! *blank stare* ))

Needless to say, the next stop is to drop his cheap butt off at home. So on the way to his house, he tells me he enjoys hanging out with me, and would love to watch a movie. All signs have already pointed that I don’t need to be bothered, but I say, ok, sure we can watch a movie.

Let me explain that his apartment is basically a college campus based type of apartment where there are 4 bedrooms that each have their own bathrooms, and the roommates all share the common areas (laundry area, kitchen, and living room). No television in the living room, so we had to watch the movie in his room….he opens the door, to disorganization, and a messy room (just as I thought).

I sit on his bed to watch his 15-inch flat screen TV that I can barely see, he hands me the remote, and excuses himself to the restroom. I take this opportunity to text and tweet my friends to let them know that I am not sure if I can trust their judgment ever again and our friendships will be reevaluated, lol. As I’m tweeting and texting, I finally notice that not only has time flown by, but I’ve heard a numerous amount of flushes, water running, a fan on blast, and interval sprays of air freshener being doused in the air.

((Meik's comment: *sniggle*))

I then realized that about 15 minutes have elapsed, and this fool is still in the restroom. This mission needs to be aborted ASAP. So I start planning my escape, and as I’m about to collect my keys and my purse, I get a text message.... live from the bathroom, from this fool, and it says “I am sooo sorry, I am just going to be a few more minutes, this is taking longer than I expected.”

((Meik's comment: *sniggle harder*))


Oh.Wow. Welllp.. against my better judgment yet again, I wait for him to come out…After about 10 more minutes, he finally emerges from the bathroom spraying behind him, and apologizing. Earlier at dinner I had offered some hand sanitizer to him b/c I am all about clean hands, and he had declined, which is gross. But when this man left the bathroom, he then says “Hey, do you still have that hand sanitizer…umm…can I get some please?”

((Meik's comment: But.....*raises hand* umm... nevermind just.....))

Soooooo you mean to tell me, that this nasty grown man just had a massive bowel movement and does not have any soap to wash his nasty hands???? Thoroughly disgusted!!!!!!! But I do share my hand sanitizer cuz if he tries to give me a goodbye hug I do not want boo-boo residue on me!!

Now the plot to vacate the scene is on ten times more. We watch TV for about 10 minutes, and I say “I completely forgot I am working overtime tomorrow…I need to head home and wind down so I can be ready to get up at 5am,” (it was about 7pm at this time). He looks at me in disbelief but goes along with the story, and tells me I can stay a few more minutes, so I oblige, unfortunately. About 5 more minutes pass, and he then says, “So what time are you leaving, because I have to go back to the bathroom, and I’m afraid that I am going to be a lot longer this time.”

That is all the information I need sir, I’m going home NOW! I tell him goodbye, he rushes me out the door, and I jet to the car to call my friends to give them hell!!!! 30 minutes later, after his second diarrhea session, I receive a text saying he had a great time, and can’t wait to hang-out with me again. Were we on the same date?


He tried aggressively for a few weeks to score a second date, and I avoided him like the plague because I could not believe his actions from the first date…that ish was just beyond disgusting. I understand we all have to go when nature calls, but at least be discrete about the situation!! This dude’s name starts with a B and I so lovingly like to remember him as Boo Boo B….

Moral of the story, Immodium AD might be something that everybody need to keep in their wallets, and NEVER run out of soap at your house, cuz you never know when you might need both!
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Jeeeezus take this wheel because THIS was pure d-dayum comedy..
Lesson learned: if you have bubble guts.. cut the date shawt and be done with it.. ain't no point in trying to prolong ish lol..when nature calls..answer it, but just let those around you know so they can leave you in peace!

Stay classy and germ free!
Meik..