Hey Mofos!

*note I wrote this in Dec--just didn't update it and hit post til now*

I started this blog 50'levum years ago to talk about my dating experiences with the worst of the worst. Along the way, I kept the stories close to the vest of the rare moments I fell hard for some questionable ones in hindsight. 

Everyone says dating is fun and I thought, my heart has been hurt so many times that maybe it's easier to date someone I already know. 

WRONG ANSWER! 

It's almost like they take it as a personal challenge to take your heart and stomp on it, twist it up then throw it back in your face. This last "relationship" had to be the 2nd craziest situation I found myself in. I had a crush on this man since I met him in the 90s. Enter Facebook and we reconnected and it was like the stars aligned and finally my crush liked me back! Getting to know him as an adult made me fall even harder. I think it also helped that he didn't run for the hills when I shared that I had fibroids, had to have iron infusions, couldn't wear heels because of fibroid surgery nerve damage and my weight was all over the place, plus, I couldn't have kids. He didn't care about any of that. 

We were long distance, so of course, I was okay with that, because I didn't want him to see my hair falling out, how exhausted I was from low ferritin/iron, the changes that took me thru, the uterus that made me look 7 months pregnant, and going for iron infusions like clockwork. When I finally decided to have the hysterectomy after another failed surgery, I didn't want anyone--not even friends to see me struggling to pick myself up and adjust to a new body with hormones bouncing all over the place. He asked me to be his girlfriend and it was all I had ever wanted to hear. We video called almost daily and we just clicked. 

Two days after my surgery-- he asked me to borrow some money--he was frantic, and while I barely had energy to get out of the bed and walk to the other end of my mama's house, I thought one time will be okay? Then I didn't hear from him again for weeks. Weird for a new boyfriend right? Why didn't he come visit after my surgery you ask? GOOD DAMN QUESTION.. not a flower, card, piss, boo, bye. NOTHING. 

He finally checked in around 3 weeks post op, told me he had quit his job blah blah blah and was in Florida. And no, he didn't pay me back. 

Long story short, that man had 50'levum jobs over the course of our 2 year relationship and I tried to be patient and understanding all while healing and building Check the Rhymes TV and soon Ladies Edition. But during the first year, we got closer, he got a job where he was on the road a lot, and  he was sending me money just cuz and there were promises of the future and  he kept telling me he loved me blah blah blah. Then, the worst happened, my granddeddy fell and things went downhill quick. During that time I was going back and forth to my hometown and he sent me gas money every time and made sure I had money to eat. But when my granddeddy passed in March 2023, my life changed and I was no longer the same person. I thought, my man will come and help me thru this right? NAWL. He kept running to Florida because of his house and his brother allegedly. Didn't come to the funeral-- which I didn't fault him for that since my family decided to have it literally 3 or 4 days after he passed, so a lot of people didn't get to come. BUT he managed to get his ass to Florida a couple weeks later. 

In July 2023, I had enough of the "I'm coming" and never seeing him. I was done. He then shows up with a layover on his way to go live in the Midwest. Yes, y'all I saw my boyfriend for a whole 15 minutes at the airport, a year into this ragglass relationship. 

Six months later, my niece was killed in a tragic car accident. Do you think this man comforted me at all? Nope, I found out a few weeks ago that while I was sitting in a church looking at my niece in a casket, he was busy cheesing and taking pics with some heffa in Florida. I kept asking him WHO is in Florida-- but it was always this house, my brother blah blah blah. 

Two years I kept listening to his promises of coming to visit or move back to NC. TWO DAMN YEARS. Actually more than that. 

I would get so excited and then disappointed. The roller coaster was too much. I was killing myself trying to look how I thought he wanted me to look and then he'd come. Spoiler alert-- he didn't.  He'd switch jobs, going to all other states, but avoided NC and me like the plague. 

My self esteem plummeted, but I had a show to do, Soulibration was born and I had to focus on that dream. I kept listening to his promises, and his borrowing of money became too much and he'd pay me back on the rare occasion. Then I heard from some others that he was doing the same thing to them (not other chicks-- but friends we had in common). I was concerned, but he kept on promising he was coming and would gaslight and manipulate me into believing he really wanted to be with me. 

I started to get embarrassed of always talking about a boyfriend and realized, this man could barely remember my birthday, wouldn't say ish on any holiday, never introduced me to anyone but random people. I was becoming more and more frustrated, and I kept praying and hoping things would turn around. 

Then I found out this house he kept talking about belonged to an ex and it was an ex in the photos I saw, and even the car he was driving and showing off on Facebook, wasn't even his. It's interesting how on social media, all of his followers think he is some millionaire and he ain't got a pot to piss in, and has to borrow $5 just to get a slice of pizza--allegedly. It's sad that a man that's almost 50 years old has to play in y'alls faces too online to let you think he's something he totally isn't and hasn't been for awhile.  

How did I get here? Well, once all of that came out that he had no time to visit me but could see this chick and he admitted he didn't tell her about me because SHE is insecure. Bitch, you need to worry about ME. But anyhoo, once he said he was coming here to surprise me for the 100000000th time I said don't worry about it, you ain't been coming. I sent a text the next day breaking it off and realizing I deserve better than being someone's layaway telephone girlfriend. His response was that I was overreacting. I asked for my money back and 7 months later, I still don't have it.  Months went by before he finally apologized. It came after he thought showing his support of my career was a thumbs up on an IG post.  It sounded like he struggled with more than a mental health issue, but the thoughts of some kind of addiction started to appear in my mind. We spoke on the phone here and there, until the day of my Soulibration anniversary, he asked me for money right before I went live. I was LIVID. He knew this show meant a lot to me and I was beyond hype that I poured my heart and soul into a show that helped others. He didn't even congrats, nothing, just I NEED... 

Some other stuff happened and if I share that, then some of you will know who it is lol 

Memorial Day it hit the fan, he tried buttering me up all day long, with this speech of wanting to make it work, and going to handle the loser that sexually assaulted me in 2008 as a way to protect me, and blah blah. Little did he know, I found a therapist that got my ass together which is how I even had the strength to walk away and build my self worth months prior. I was ready this time. I knew how to spot the holes in his stories at this point. He asked me for $5, I fired back and asked why he always needs money?

The gaslighting response: "You look for any opportunity to keep an n-word down, and you just hate men."

Oh? I hate men now because I won't give into your demands now? Okayyyy sir. That comment fired me up and I lit into him and he threw back some hateful stuff even throwing the assault in my face. I remembered during his apology a few backs back, he shared that he wanted me to hate him. Game on. He succeeded. 

What pisses me off even more is that I allowed this to go on so long, and I didn't even go into ALL of the things. Maybe grief prolonged it so I was focused on that and work, or maybe a tiny part of me felt like things could change for the better. I want to get married so maybe it was the fact that he kept yapping about that that gave me a mustard seed amount of faith. 

I deserve better. No more bare minimum, no more narcissists, addicts, liars, ect.. and I'm throwing in athletes, personal trainers, and truck drivers just cuz. 

I'm tired of choosing wrong y'all. I literally don't have it in me to do this again. 

So I'm hanging up my dating hat for a while. I'm picking my crown back up and realizing my worth. Hell the one before that was verbally abusive and an alcoholic that went to jail for 30 days, but that's another blog. BUT how dare these ragglass mofos treat me like trash? I really just try to be their cheerleader and treat them the way I want to be treated and it's like they can't handle someone treating them right. They always go back to the toxic hell they love being dragged back to. 

Anyhoo, I wish this last mofo and the "ex" well --tho she prob never was an ex. I was just the dumb ass ATM and you know, she prob is too. Also, I'm not saying I'm the best looking but why come they always wanna run to someone that looks dusty?

As I look back on the relationship, it never really was one. It was a 90s crush that went down a wrong windy road and a reminder that sometimes you can't circle back cuz mofos may be the same, or they may have had a hard life and take it out on you. My wish for him is that he gets the help he needs before he wrecks someone else's life and bank account. I also wish he'd run my coins back. Now, he didn't get me for thousands upon thousands, I'm just grateful I woke up before that happened. 

Lesson Learned: Pay attention to the red flags. Actions speak louder than words. If they can't even do the bare minimum, fuck em. I have since revisited my deal breakers and boundaries because  I'm too old to be being a dummy like this even if it was the crush I always wanted. 

Sadly or maybe luckily, I no longer have a crush on this man or anybody from the past. (well I'm not counting my General Hospital crush). 

Picking up my feelings.. so until later.. 

~Meik

Hey Mofos! 

 I hate when the truth hits mid-scroll.

You’re sipping your iced coffee, minding your business, thinking you’re healing. Then boom, your brain throws a flashback into the ring like it’s the main event. And suddenly, you’re sitting there, remembering everything he said, everything he didn’t do, and wondering how you ever mistook that chaos for love.

Let’s just call it what it is:
He never loved me.
And real talk? He probably didn’t even like me.

I know. That’s a hard pill to swallow without wine.

Because when you look back, it’s all there in plain sight. The gaslighting wrapped in “I was just being honest.” The constant taking without giving. The weird little digs at your confidence, your body, your choices, dressed up like jokes. The way he only got soft when he wanted something, and sharp or ghost the second you needed support.

He said he’d fight for me.
Said I was special.
Said I was the one.
But chile, he asked for money more than he asked about my day.

He didn’t show up when it mattered. He didn’t protect me from the world, or even from himself. He used my pain as a punchline. Brought up things I only told him in whispers and turned my trauma into ammunition when he ran out of ways to win an argument.

That’s not love.
That’s not even basic decency.
That’s someone who wanted access to the benefits of me without ever truly respecting the reality of me.

You can’t tell me you love me and then make me question my worth. You can’t say I’m your peace and then turn around and become my storm.

The truth is, he liked what I could do for him.
How I made him feel.
How I showed up.
How I held it down.

But me? The real me?
He never sat with her long enough to even see her.

And once you realize that, really feel it in your bones, it shifts everything.

You stop replaying old messages hoping they meant more.
You stop rewriting red flags into love letters.
You stop begging memories to make sense.

Because now you know. It wasn’t love.
It was convenience.
It was ego.
It was survival for him, not for me.

And yeah, it hurts. It’s okay to cry about it. It’s okay to grieve what you thought you had. But when the tears dry, you get up. You get wise. You get free.

And next time, you won’t just be asking, “Does he love me?”
You’ll be asking, “Does he even like who I am when I’m not pouring into him?”

Because if the answer’s no, you already know what to do.

CUT THAT MOFO OFF and BLOCK!

~Meik

 Hey Mofos! 

I finally dusted off Check the Rhymes TV and actually did an entertainment interview! This time with Nephew Tommy. He came back thru to talk about SEASON 10 of OWN's "Ready to Love" series. 

It sounds like it's full of surprises and of course, I was all in for the advice he gave us singles! Yep y'all I'm back in the game. That's a whole other story. UGH. But I'm realllllly trying hard not to give up on love. 

But for now, get into this interview with Nephew Tommy! 

Would you go on the show?

Lemme know! 

~Meik

 Hi Mofos!

I had the pleasure of chatting with Dr. Cheyenne Bryant for BlackDoctor.org. Dr. Bryant went viral for her interview with Cam Newton on his podcast and the energy that he was dishing out was cringe. 

I sat down with her to talk about keeping families together, what to work on while single, and how to maintain healthy relationships. She was great to talk to and dropped so many gems!  Check it out:

Let me know, did any of what she said resonate? It definitely did for me! It had me looking at patterns and how I'm presenting myself in a relationship and if I'm choosing wrong. 

Until later.. 

~Meik

Hey mofos! 

It's been a minute since I've had a guest blogger or talked about the ragglass dating streets. If you are interested in sharing your story, hit me up via email, DM, pigeon, whatever floats your boat! 

So, enjoy this post from a fellow writer who shall remain nameless (but it's a guy, it's not me pretending LOL) 

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When Shameika asked me to guest blog on the Mofo Chronicles, I was humbled and excited for the opportunity as we’ve had our discussions and conversations about what it’s like to be dating in our field and at this stage of our lives.

Or at least attempting to date, I should say.

I always compare myself to a divorced dad trying to put himself out there long after the end of his marriage, though in my case there was no marriage and there are no children; just a guy trying to find himself – and some companionship – after a long period of being down on himself and everyone else at the same time.

Needless to say, I absolutely agree with the sentiment that the dating pool is tainted because everyone is either trying to out-slick/out-sly each other, have unrealistic standards, or just completely out of their minds.

I have a pair of stories that sum up my Dating in 2023 experience in a way that supports the theory of not just pee being in the pool anymore.

The first takes place in the DMs of the app formerly known as Twitter. A woman from the Midwestern region of the country (I’m Mid-Atlantic, just to give full context) likes several of my posts, so a private conversation begins.

Before long, it turns from getting to know each other’s likes and dislikes to getting to know each other Biblically from a virtual standpoint. Pictures, videos, messages – you NAME it! Shout out to Shirley Caesar.

So, without any prompting from me, this woman says, “I want to fly out to you and have you [redacted] me silly.”

So we’re off to a good start, right? Wrong. Fly Girl expressed this desire in November of 2022 to meet in January this year.

January came. Nothing.

February came. Nothing.

March-June came. Nothing.

In July, I sent her a text message saying in so many words that it was rather cruel and unnecessary to gas someone up if you had no intention of following through. Plus, I didn’t ask her about flying out – SHE brought it up.

Her response was to mention custody of her children, a job promotion and that if I couldn’t understand, then there was no reason to continue.

Talk about hurtful. There’s something to be said for people who volunteer or offer something you weren’t thinking about and then play victim when addressed about not following up. None of it is good.

As cruel as that situation was, there was an annoying one that maybe didn’t hurt as bad because I suppose there was success in the short term.

This next story begins on an app called Tinder, but the prequel dates back to another, long-gone social media site where this woman and I connected originally, but signals got crossed and mixed, so we lost contact for well over a decade.

Imagine my surprise on April Fools Day (which should’ve told me this was going to be jokes) when this woman liked my Tinder profile. I knew who it was instantly, so out of curiosity I swiped right to start a conversation. Either she was pulling my leg the whole way or I just wasn’t paying attention, but she said she’d seen me improve from a distance (guess she meant my physical appearance or something) so we started catching up on each other’s lives and naturally, that turned into “You know…you could’ve gotten it back then…still can.”

Important to note that again, this was something that was brought up to me; I didn’t bring it up.

This time, no flights or feelings were necessary since she lived just across the bridge from me, so I drove over to her place because she wanted to meet before she went to an event. Of course grown folk things did happen and I thought it went rather well.

Wrong again.

Later on in the spring we’re texting and she mentions her demisexuality and how that went against our hookup. I couldn’t believe it. I already knew what demisexuality was (attraction to someone based on feelings, for the record) so I didn’t think she had a reason to lie, but there was still something dishonest about it. She said we could continue chatting and hopefully meet up, but sex was off the table until I proved myself to her.

She hasn’t gotten a text from me since.

Now here’s where I’m honest to a fault about my faults – yes, I very much am trying to play ho-phase catch-up for the years I was out of the game because of a lack of self-confidence and serious self-hatred for myself, envy of other men and resentment for women who liked the men who weren’t me.

After physical improvement and inner-improvement that includes on and off therapy (because healthcare in this country is still cheeks), I felt like I was ready to see who and what was out there, explore a bit and hopefully create new memories and experiences that would prepare me for something different.

Reader, that has not happened.

So as a hot summer turns to a not-as-cold-as-it-used-to-be winter (thanks, climate change), I’m considering taking a step back from all things dating and sex because as much as I want to be successful at those two things, it seems like a long shot at the moment.

Of course, I say that now, but with one swipe and conversation, I could be starting this chase all over again. To use the tagline from the esteemed creator of this blog, “My Nerves Bad.”

*************************************************************************

Whew chile, it sounds like dating ain't been right since.. well ever. Thank you guest blogger for sharing your stories with us! My advice: well, I really don't have any except get back out there and in the words of Aaliyah, "dust it off and try again."

If anyone is interested in guest blogging, don't be shy. Share your stories, we've all been there and some of us hope to never be in those situations again. 

 Hey Mofos! 

I know some of you love the show "Sistas" so I have something for you! For those that haven't watched, the show follows four 30-something single girlfriends in Atlanta as they navigate their complicated love lives, careers and friendships while living in a modern world of social media and unrealistic relationship goals. Two of the show’s stars, Ebony Obsidian (Karen) and DeVale Ellis (Zac) stopped by Check the Rhymes to chat about the midseason return that airs on Wednesdays at 9pm on BET.

We also chatted about double standards in love & dating especially when it comes to celebs like Lori Harvey! Let me know, do you agree with their assessment? Let me know in the comments!

~Meik

Have you ever wondered if there is something bigger and better out there for you? I know I have on a daily basis. But we don't have to figure that out right now, instead we can live vicariously through the cast of the new comedy Bigger on BET+. The show takes place in the the East Atlanta neighborhood, Little Five Points. The series follows a single-black-woman who is dealing with the threat of marriage to a boring-in-bed "but he nice tho" type of boyfriend, to embracing her thotty ways with a chocolate gawd, and the sudden, random death of a college acquaintance. The tragedy drives her ambitious group of friends to take a deeper look at their stagnant lives, asking themselves— is there something bigger and better in life. Bigger episodes are currently streaming on BET+ with new episodes launching every Thursday. The series is executive produced by Will Packer.  I chatted with Tanisha Long who plays Layne Roberts, and Chase Anthony who plays Deon Lewis about the show and what we can expect this season. 





For more information, visit:https://www.bet.com/betplus.html

Shout out to Chuck of Suite 929 for his editing skills be sure to check him out: https://www.suite929.tv/

Let me know, what is your "Bigger?"

~Meik

Hey Mofos! Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know--I'm trifling as hell for not blogging but one time this entire year. A sista has been booked, busy, and well none of your biznass. So I figured, might as well do my usual end of year post right?



This year started out rough and ended well, not AS rough, but still rocky.

What you mean Meik?

I'm glad you asked! On January 2, my grandparents home was destroyed in a fire and luckily my grandfather made it out safely. So many of my friends and acquaintances came through and donated clothes, money, gift cards, prayers, food, any and everything to make sure my granddeddy was ok. I love you all for that and even today he is still so thankful as he sits in his new home at 90 years old. It is an absolute blessing for real! It brought my family closer together and I think my grandma is smiling from the heavens about this.



The year continued to unfold in some unexpected ways in my personal life--for the first time in YEARSSSSSSSSSSS--I mean damn DECADES--I uttered the L word--and felt feelings that I had no idea of what they were--hell for a moment, I thought I had the flu or some ish, but when you go thru some things with someone you start to realize how much they mean to you. Now before you scoot me on down the aisle, this is still a work in progress and my overthinking and anxiety is a problem :). That's step 1, admitting your own foolishness. I've learned to finally let go of the past and to live in the now and look forward to the future.



Anyhoo, this year started out on a high professionally and ended on the lowest of lows with me feeling like what's next for my writing career?? Is there a writing career? Several of my long-term contracts ended, editors left, outlets stopped using freelancers, and my pitches seemed to fall into the abyss of well hell, I don't know where they are, but it seemed like I just couldn't find my footing until I turned back to the local side of things and I have enjoyed writing about stories right here in my own backyard. I realized that writing about music was no longer my focus or passion, that telling the stories of people that have made an impact in our lives in some form or fashion is what I love. I love hearing about their journey to get to where they are now, and usually I take away a nugget or two to stick in my own journal for future reference and breakdowns. I love feature/entertainment stories (take note in case you are hiring! LOL). I couldn't and still haven't been able to land a full time gig, but thankfully God has allowed my part time job to pay my bills and keep a roof over my head. I even waltzed my arse down to the dealership and got a new car--now that's some big energy right there ain't it? It never occurred to me--how the f am I about to pay this car note?



But the pile of rejections from employers has done a number on the ole ego, so while I slide down the wall and throw a temper tantrum every week--I allow myself one hour okay---- maybe 4 to sulk--then I shake it off and get right back to Operation Meik Needs a Damn Career RIGHT NOW movement.

This year I had my first PAID speaking engagement. Yes y'all, someone paid to hear ole Meik Meik talk about pitching to the media and it was so much fun! I felt so important yet empowered speaking to a room of professionals about my experience in the newsroom and as a writer. I also spoke to more students and hopefully impacted their lives in some way.

2018 was my first year on the NC Music Hall of Fame Advisory Board and I threw myself into all things Induction Ceremony by editing bios, writing video scripts, and doing the voice overs for each video for 7 inductees. This process was so fun and I added another notch to my resume. It was so awesome sitting in the Gem Theatre hearing my voice on the big screen and being complimented by the artists--especially John Tesh! Yep THE JOHN TESH.



I of course kept up with interviewing some amazing people this year from Jody Watley, James Mtume, Ananda Lewis, Cynthia Horner, Melba Moore, Mara Brock Akil, Yvette Lee Bowser, and more. Ya girl even did a few Facebook Live interviews!

I almost crawled my arse back to TV News but then God intervened and said BUT GIRL... and I realized that won't make me happy and now that I've learned the joy of sleep, I'm not ready to give that up.



This year with lots of time on my damn hands, I've learned a lot about myself and what I will and won't tolerate. I've learned that you can't surround yourself with toxic people, because their negative thinking will rub off on you. I learned that I do know how to be there for someone and actually mean it and want to be there as support. I learned all about self-love and embracing who you are. I've learned that love looks different for everybody, and nobody follows the same blueprint. You do what works for you. Same as the career path--everybody's journey is different. It took me a while to get to that point. I might be growing up ya'll.

For 2019--I wish for a damn job and a husband, but I also wish for happiness, success, love, peace, and soullllll wait.. I admit I miss Soul Train, it slips out every now and again.



Happy New Year y'all. I can't promise I'll blog more in 2019, but we can pretend I will. :)

What’s up Mofos?! Yes it’s been a long time, I shouldn’t have left you without a dope blog or two to read, but hell, here we are and at least I’m blogging now right?



Have you ever had to go through something at the wrong damn point in your life?

What you mean Meik?

I’m glad you asked.

Picture it, the year was 2017 and it was a regular arse day and I went to the dentist to get a crown—err well that day would have a temp crown but you get the point. Now years ago, this particular tooth had a root canal and the dentist didn’t put a crown on it after—instead he did some other finagling and IDK what it’s called but it had held up over the years.. UNTIL..

The dentist begins drilling and says “we have a problem.”



WHAT YOU MEAN A PROBLEM?!

Y’all..

She tells me there was a hole in my tooth and after drilling—there isn’t enough tooth left for a crown.

What does that mean???

It needs to be pulled.

Y’all. The tooth in question is in the front of my mofo’n mouth. I CANNOT DEAL. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WALK AROUND SNAG-A-TOOTH and try to be on somebody’s television/red carpet/Youtube whatever.. HOW I ASK?



As I start to hyperventilate, the dentist says, the only option here is an implant, but in the meantime, she will use temporary material to fill out that tooth—but it won’t last long.

As I got to the car—and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. I realized that this procedure was going to cost WAYYYYY more than I had in my pockets but a gal has to do what a gal has to do right?



Luckily thanks to God, I was able to make a way out of absolutely no way to come up with the $5000 I was going to need for this ish. –why $5k you ask? I had used up my dental insurance for the year, and my insurance didn’t cover implants any dayum way.

I made my consultation appointment with a specialist.. then got scared and changed it at least two times.. finally I went in for it and of course because my ish was difficult—this was going to be a 2 phase thing and take almost a year to complete. So in September, I had step one taken care of.. a flipper was made so that I could have some sort of tooth in place and not look like a jack-o-lantern. If you haven’t had the joy of wearing a flipper—it basically is like a retainer with a tooth on it—except it doesn’t fit like it should LOL --this is what it looks like:




A few weeks later I went in to have the tooth pulled and a bone graft—it wasn’t too bad—not that painful. With the stitches and the healing however it was disgusting to look at, but luckily with my trusty flipper –no one was the wiser. Well, unless you noticed I now talked with a lisp, couldn’t eat in public, and constantly sounded like my dentures were slipping.

Let me pause here to say here’s where things got interesting because at this point ya girl started seeing someone and I just couldn’t bear to tell him that I was missing a damn tooth. Whenever we went out—I only ate soup or mashed potatoes—and took the rest home or claimed "I'm not hungry!" while my stomach growled in protest. *yes I'm skipping right thru this part cuz the rest is none of your biz*



Sleepovers got a little tricky because you aren’t supposed to sleep with a flipper in—so I would wait until his arse was snoring –go yank that thang out and throw it in a cup (yes complete with denture cleaner and pray he doesn’t wake up and look in the cup. I’d wake up extra early to sneak it back into my mouth so he would never know!
WAYMENT--I mean no sleepovers EVER happened if this my mama reading this!!!

This went on for months, until finally a mofo got hungry and I was like look, I gotta eat—I took it out of my mouth, explained the implant situation—and proceeded to eat and he was like oh hell, I bet you have been hungry LOL—#LoveIs real when a mofo don’t care if you are missing a tooth in the front and shoveling food in your mouth and he still finds you sexy.



I wore that flipper from Oct to March, got the implant put in and more bone graft, and had to wait until May to finish the healing process. Once that was done, I was able to go to my dentist to finish everything and get my crown. I have never been so happy to eat like normal! From Oct to May, I was on a soft food diet—even at work I would only eat yogurt, but bish the day I could go to the vending machine for candy I was on cloud nine. It’s the little things, don’t judge me.

But let me tell y'all about how good God is. I got a letter right before I got the final crown placed from my insurance company and it said they would cover 40% of my implant. Mind you, I had to pay for this on my part time job/freelance hustle salary out of pocket because my insurance hit me with the NAWL SIS. They renigged and sent me a check that actually ended up covering the cost of the crown. LOOK AT GOD I TELL YOU!



The implant looks great and it took a week or two to get used to but thank goodness I'm no longer spit talking with a lisp, sneaking to eat. HALLELUJAH. My advice-- if you ever need an implant it's definitely worth the investment --especially if you need it for the front of your mouth--the back..ehhhh you can get by without it. LOL

I didn't think I wanted to share this story but once I tweeted I got an implant-- many of you with sense KNEW it was dental and not boobs-- cuz lawd knows I have enough for two people..but anyhoo-- a lot of you wanted to know the process so there you have it. I'm glad I got my smile back :)




Have you ever gotten a dental implant? What was your experience like?

Until later-
~Meik

Hey Mofoville--I figured it's almost the end of 2017 so I should blow the dust off this blog and pay y'all a visit.



Tis the holiday season and yeah it's the season of love, giving, receiving, sprinkling glitter, and hanging mistletoe, but when it comes to me..the recurring theme is heartbreak.

What you mean Meik?

I'm so glad you asked. Heartache is a mofo, especially at Christmas.

I just told the story on Blerd Dating about getting my marriage proposal dreams shattered on Christmas morning, but this particular story actually goes hand in hand with the 25th anniversary of one of my favorite albums. Stay with me--

Picture it.. the year was 19--errr that doesn't matter, but just know I had met my pretty boy thug life bae my senior year in high school. Yes I said pretty boy thug life. Let me break that down for you: He was a pretty boy with cornrows that wanted to be a damn thug so bad--but..well.. he tried.



Anyway, so we had been dating since Sept I think at this point and I was in love. He was 19 (or so his arse told me at the time and I found out later he LIED--he was 21 or 22) and I thought he was my soulmate. Mind you, he still lived at home with his mama, worked third shift, and during the day played thug life, and would pick me up from school or cheer practice-- cute right? Don't judge.. I was 17!!



We even had a song: "I'll Be There for You/You're All I Need to Get By-- yep. cute.




Anyhoo fast forward to December, I was so excited to FINALLLLLLY have a boyfriend to exchange Christmas gifts with. Lemme 'splain something, Meik Meik hasn't dated a whole lot.. even today, I can count on one hand the number of relationships that I've had, so let me have my joy.



I knew he was a hip hop head so I went to the music store and got him a couple of CD's by his favorite rappers, and well hell I'm old I can't recall what else I got but I do remember those two things!

So on Christmas Eve my mama tells me she needs me to go to Walmart to pick up a few things and so I took my little sister with me. We pull up into the parking lot and I see his car..

Some of y'all gonna know who it is when I describe this ish -- a Geo Prizm with dark arse windows with rims.

I'm like LOOK AT GOD-- I hadn't seen bae ALL DAY and here he is..and there was a parking space right in front of where he parked.

I whip my Buick Skylark into the space (don't even.... just don't.)



As I'm looking down for my purse, I hear my sister gasp and I look up at her like "WTF wrong witchu?"



I follow her gaze and look directly into his car.

Y'all.

*chokes*

Y'all.

My 17 year old heart is breaking all over again.



This light skinned negro and all his fuzzy cornrow'd glory was kissing the hell out of some chick in the front seat of his car. MY SEAT.. HIS LIPS WERE MY LIPS.. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLP



I just....

My sister looked at me.. then at him.. then at me.. then said.. "what do we do?"

Now I'm 6 years older so instead of showing my black arse in front of her, I jumped out of the car and did the only thing I could do....

RAN TO THE PAY PHONE! *for you young folks reading a pay phone is when you put coins into the phone in the telephone booth in order to use it--they are damn near obsolete now*




Yeah I don't get that damn decision either in hindsight but it seemed like a grand idea.

WHO THE F WAS YOU CALLING MEIK?

I am glad you asked. I called my mama dang it. I was hyperventilating and crying and telling her I CANNOT GO INTO WALMART FOR WHATEVAAAHHHH she needed..not while the pieces of my heart are laying on the ground.

So I make the long trek back to the car, trying not to look but I can't NOT look, but when I finally pick my head up to get one more glance, I see him walking towards me with that heffa behind him. THIS MOFO looks like "oh f.. " and I'm looking like "you mofo" and no words are exchanged, he goes into the store and I contemplate whether or not I should throw a rock at his damn window.




Instead I hop in the car and go home where I lock myself in my room and convince myself that I was seeing things.
So after a few hours I call him.

ring.... ring.... ring.....

The phone is picked up.. and I hear a female voice..and it ain't his mama or his sister..

Me: Can I speak to Pretty Boy Thug Life?

Her: He's in the shower can I have him call you back? Is this Shameika?

THIS BISHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *fights air*



Me: *croaks* yessss

Her: Ok girl. I'll tell him.. Bye.

Me: Thank you, bye.

I know what y'all are thinking. This heffa he just slobbed down in the parking lot knows your name and you leave a message all cordial n ish? I told y'all I was naive!

So time goes by.. no phone call. I sit in the dark in my room with the one album that can help me pull through this heartache..



Mary J. Blige's My Life album. ONNNNNNLYYYY MJB knows the pain I'm going through. I went so far as to record this on my answering machine, cuz just in case he called he would KNOWWWWWW my mood:



But the phone never rang.

The only time I moved from that chair in my room was to lean over to my stereo hit play again so the CD would start over.
I'm pretty sure my family was fed up with that album.

Christmas Day comes and I sat there sniffing and snotting not caring one damn about a gift and finally my deddy was pissed.. and swore this negro was the grinch that stole EVERYBODY's Christmas and to this day he still ain't over it. Y'all thought I was petty..

The day after Christmas comes and armed with gift cards and red swollen eyes, I decide it's time to just take those two CD's back to the store and try to move on. BUT not without trying ONE more time to call because ..dumb.

Ring.. ring...ring..

Hello?

DAMMIT.. that same chick is answering the phone!

What do I do?!



Me: Pretty Boy Thug Life there?

Her: Shameika he cannot come to the phone. We are busy.

Then this bish proceeds to quote the lyrics to this song before she hangs up.



click.

Ya'll.... I cannot even listen to this song without getting mad.

If this had happened today... in the year of 2017 I think I might be locked up.

Did she really just do that and what are they busy doing?

So I do what anyone else would do.. go to my cousin's house and get her to call him with me on the other extension-- that blocking heffa still wouldn't give him the phone.

Fast forward to a week later, my phone rings-- answering machine picks up and I hear "Meika, hey, it's me."

I debate, pick it up or let him talk to the answering machine.

Y'all know I picked that phone right up! He apologizes over and over and asks if he can come pick me up and I'm like no but you can come over and explain everything but you can't come in, my deddy don't like you and frankly neither do I.



So he comes over, I go sit in his car while he tells me that this heffa was his ex and she was in town visiting and stayed with him and he didn't know what to do. Um.....

hmmm....

let's see.. you clearly told her you had a girlfriend sooooo.....

I tell him I took his Christmas gift back and he tells me he did the same. WTF.. no this isn't how this works.. YOU GIVE ME MY GIFT. YOU HURT ME!

So I had to ask what it was..and to this day I swear I don't think he bought that ish to begin with. He describes this outfit in great detail and then again in hindsight I'm thinking this was probably an outfit his "ex" had on and he couldn't think of ish else to say.

Long story short.. my dumb arse forgave him and we dated until I skipped off into the sunset and went to college, and we even tried to keep dating my first semester. I knew it was over once I realized all the potential college baes that actually had decent conversation and wanted ish out of life besides a new set of rims.


I knew it was over when I went home for a visit wearing my new Reebok Classics and this fool says "I saw on Maury that only hoes wear those kind of shoes."



Sir YOU are the hoe and we are done. I had found my clapback and embraced my MJB strength, I was gonna get me a college bae and a degree and never think of this mofo again.


Well...enter King Mofo and my life went down the hill after that. So you see, this is why Meik Meik can't date and have nice things.



Lesson Learned: Chile IDK I clearly didn't learn a damn thing cuz I got involved with King Mofo and stayed in that foolishness for 8 years..

Always in Gratitude,
~Meik

*tip toes in* Heyyyyyy Mofo-ville! Let me start this off by saying I hates me a cheater, but we'll come back to that.




I know.. I ain't worth one ounce of ish. You don't have to tell me.. but listen let me explain my absence. A heffa been busy!

I've been writing and writing and ..well you get the point. So with that being said, if you are out and about, pick up the April/May issue of EBONY Magazine--because yours truly has an article in the issue on Global Decor and I'm just sooooo excited about it!




But I know that's not why y'all came over here today to hear me gush about my accomplishments n ish.. let's get to what I need to get off this big arse chest of mine.

What's wrong Meik?

I'm glad you asked! Mofo'n cheaters of a feather flock to dayum gether.

Whatchu mean Meik?

Ooooh stick with me now.. so back in February I decided to be bold and try something new and dip a toe into the dating waters by going to this speed dating event. While I didn't meet a nar soul DURING the event, I did discover that I do like coconut tequila! Judge your mammy not me!



Anyhoo, after the event is when I met Karl. *names have been changed to protect the lying arse cheaters of the world*

Now, mind you I was tipsy and from what I could tell Karl was handsome, tall, gorgeous light brown eyes, long eye lashes, could hold a convo and more importantly--he wanted to call me! *I was excited..most mofos these days just ask for your twitter handle and DM the living shit out of every nerve you have left.*



So lo and behold, he called and we agreed to hang out later that evening. Now mind you--he told me he was only at the event to support his friend who was there selling men's grooming products--he wasn't there to speed date. So we meet up to grab a drink (YES I DRANK ALL DAY DO NOT LOOK AT ME LIKE THIS..I AM STRESSED!) and some ish comes pouring out from one of his female friends that's down to the bar and she is going off about how he used to cheat on his wife with one of her friends.

Yep. Read that line one more time. RED FLAG NUMBER ONE.





So I pull him to the side and ask him the following: Are you married? He says no. Are you divorced? Yes have been for awhile.
Do you have a chick? Girlfriend? A girl that thinks she's your bae? A jumpoff? Any of the above? He says no.
I ask do you live with a chick? Again the answer is No.

Pay attention to these answers y'all.

So I think to myself, "self, you gotta have an open mind, don't cut him off YET just see what happens."

So a couple weeks later, he hits me up to meet again at the same dayum spot..cool cuz it's by my house and apparently close to his. After about 3-4 times of meeting at the same place.. he tells me he's had thoughts of us sleeping together and talking in bed and all this other ish and yet I let RED FLAG NUMBER TWO walk on by like Issac Hayes sang.. and he tells me he doesn't want to see anyone else just me.. but here's the thing my dear beloveds, he tells me this ish on a Friday or Saturday night..then falls off the face of the earth the rest of the week or even two weeks.

Maybe it's the fact I don't have to pay for these drinks.. maybe I like the company..IDK but he's still cool to hang with so we agree to hang out again.

At this point it's April. I'm still on the fence as to whether or not I'm digging him or not because hell, he has YET to take me anywhere else.. or do what he says he's gonna do. I ask him again about having a chick--he claims NOPE.. I don't know WHAT you are talkin about. I just don't like talking on the phone or texting. RED FLAG NUMBER THREE and FOUR and FIVE.





Yet.. guess who decides to meet him down to the bar YET AGAIN? Yep. My dumb arse.. WHY? Well I'm like he buys drinks, and at this point I have YET to celebrate the fact I have an amazing article in a magazine that I've always wanted to write for and again, I like his company. So I get there--and as he is spouting this nonsense about us being exclusive I just keep thinking something ain't clean in the almond milk chile..there's a cashew floating around in it!





I notice that his friends are not with their "main baes" but instead with their "side baes" and as that RED FLAG NUMBER SIX THRU TEN pops up, I start thinking, WHAT IN THE HAYLE IS REALLY GOINGS ON? So I ask him again about this exclusive thing and he gets quiet.. and then the tequila shots must have been a truth serum because I ask him "do you have someone else-- what is with this ghosting for weeks and then hitting me up randomly and not wanting to go anywhere but his damn bar?"

Y'all........



"There was never a right time to tell you this..I do have a girl," Karl mumbles.

Let me tuck my hair behind my ear and scoot in cuz I could swear his black arse just said he has a chick.

Run that by me one mo' time playa..WHET?

He starts stammering and trying to say "I never thought I'd like you but I like you but I just could never find the time to tell you that I have a girl."

So now we go back to day one---so at no point before exchanging info..was that a good time to tell me you have a chick? At no point when I blatantly ASKED you this on day one was there a right time? He keeps trying to explain their on and off again relationship.. but..

He keeps trying to explain to me how I've got it all wrong. Now y'all....

I ask him if he lives with her.. he acts deaf.

Then mumbles sometimes..kinda.. sort of.. well hell, do y'all split the bills or...?

At this moment I realize I've been included in the circle of side baes. I realize that he introduced me to all of his friends and they all KNEW he had a chick at home! Now if you KNOW me.. u KNOW I don't play this mess especially after King Mofo ripped my heart out with his cast of side chick characters running in and out and I damn sure don't appreciate this ninja ASSuming that I'd be okay with being a side chick. In the words of one of my artist friends, "you must have forgot who the F I am."

So.. I grab my purse to head out and he's trying to stand in the way and apologize and tell me that we should hug it out and continue hanging out --uhhhh no.. where is SHE? He's like prob at the house wondering where I am.

SIR WHET?

So if she decides to do a drive by--and roll up here and walks in with your hand on my leg or catching you trying to lick the salt from tequila glass off my face.. then jeeezus y'all I CANNOT FIGHT..IDK WHET WOULD HAVE HAPPENED! I DO NOT DO DRAMA!

He keeps telling me "I don't understand why you are mad and looking at me with disgust..I apologized.

"


If you don't get out of here with this.

Then it hit me.. as I continue waiting for God to bring my husband round here, this foolishness just put me another step closer to finding the one. I wasn't hurt.. I wasn't even that mad, I am glad that I found out he wasn't ish NOW and things never progressed any further. WE shant be communicating any further. EVAHHHH.




Lesson Learned: When you see those red flags... take heed and RUUUUUUUUUUN! While I'm sure some chick would have gladly settled for any parts of him that he could share..I'm not that one. I feel for the girlfriend that was sitting at home wondering where his arse was and I hope she realizes she deserves better. I've been that chick sitting up half the night worrying and wondering and I admit doing drive bys past all my bae's fav places ..WHEN I WAS IN MY 20'S! I wish I would be bothered with that ish now. This is a 'break up' I'll gladly take. BYE MOFO.

Have y'all ever had an experience like this?


Pick up that EBONY Mag..let me know what you think!

~Always in Gratitude,
Meik