A Mofo'n Mouth Tale

Tuesday, August 21, 2018

What’s up Mofos?! Yes it’s been a long time, I shouldn’t have left you without a dope blog or two to read, but hell, here we are and at least I’m blogging now right?

Have you ever had to go through something at the wrong damn point in your life?

What you mean Meik?

I’m glad you asked.

Picture it, the year was 2017 and it was a regular arse day and I went to the dentist to get a crown—err well that day would have a temp crown but you get the point. Now years ago, this particular tooth had a root canal and the dentist didn’t put a crown on it after—instead he did some other finagling and IDK what it’s called but it had held up over the years.. UNTIL..

The dentist begins drilling and says “we have a problem.”



She tells me there was a hole in my tooth and after drilling—there isn’t enough tooth left for a crown.

What does that mean???

It needs to be pulled.

Y’all. The tooth in question is in the front of my mofo’n mouth. I CANNOT DEAL. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WALK AROUND SNAG-A-TOOTH and try to be on somebody’s television/red carpet/Youtube whatever.. HOW I ASK?

As I start to hyperventilate, the dentist says, the only option here is an implant, but in the meantime, she will use temporary material to fill out that tooth—but it won’t last long.

As I got to the car—and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. I realized that this procedure was going to cost WAYYYYY more than I had in my pockets but a gal has to do what a gal has to do right?

Luckily thanks to God, I was able to make a way out of absolutely no way to come up with the $5000 I was going to need for this ish. –why $5k you ask? I had used up my dental insurance for the year, and my insurance didn’t cover implants any dayum way.

I made my consultation appointment with a specialist.. then got scared and changed it at least two times.. finally I went in for it and of course because my ish was difficult—this was going to be a 2 phase thing and take almost a year to complete. So in September, I had step one taken care of.. a flipper was made so that I could have some sort of tooth in place and not look like a jack-o-lantern. If you haven’t had the joy of wearing a flipper—it basically is like a retainer with a tooth on it—except it doesn’t fit like it should LOL --this is what it looks like:

A few weeks later I went in to have the tooth pulled and a bone graft—it wasn’t too bad—not that painful. With the stitches and the healing however it was disgusting to look at, but luckily with my trusty flipper –no one was the wiser. Well, unless you noticed I now talked with a lisp, couldn’t eat in public, and constantly sounded like my dentures were slipping.

Let me pause here to say here’s where things got interesting because at this point ya girl started seeing someone and I just couldn’t bear to tell him that I was missing a damn tooth. Whenever we went out—I only ate soup or mashed potatoes—and took the rest home or claimed "I'm not hungry!" while my stomach growled in protest. *yes I'm skipping right thru this part cuz the rest is none of your biz*

Sleepovers got a little tricky because you aren’t supposed to sleep with a flipper in—so I would wait until his arse was snoring –go yank that thang out and throw it in a cup (yes complete with denture cleaner and pray he doesn’t wake up and look in the cup. I’d wake up extra early to sneak it back into my mouth so he would never know!
WAYMENT--I mean no sleepovers EVER happened if this my mama reading this!!!

This went on for months, until finally a mofo got hungry and I was like look, I gotta eat—I took it out of my mouth, explained the implant situation—and proceeded to eat and he was like oh hell, I bet you have been hungry LOL—#LoveIs real when a mofo don’t care if you are missing a tooth in the front and shoveling food in your mouth and he still finds you sexy.

I wore that flipper from Oct to March, got the implant put in and more bone graft, and had to wait until May to finish the healing process. Once that was done, I was able to go to my dentist to finish everything and get my crown. I have never been so happy to eat like normal! From Oct to May, I was on a soft food diet—even at work I would only eat yogurt, but bish the day I could go to the vending machine for candy I was on cloud nine. It’s the little things, don’t judge me.

But let me tell y'all about how good God is. I got a letter right before I got the final crown placed from my insurance company and it said they would cover 40% of my implant. Mind you, I had to pay for this on my part time job/freelance hustle salary out of pocket because my insurance hit me with the NAWL SIS. They renigged and sent me a check that actually ended up covering the cost of the crown. LOOK AT GOD I TELL YOU!

The implant looks great and it took a week or two to get used to but thank goodness I'm no longer spit talking with a lisp, sneaking to eat. HALLELUJAH. My advice-- if you ever need an implant it's definitely worth the investment --especially if you need it for the front of your mouth--the back..ehhhh you can get by without it. LOL

I didn't think I wanted to share this story but once I tweeted I got an implant-- many of you with sense KNEW it was dental and not boobs-- cuz lawd knows I have enough for two people..but anyhoo-- a lot of you wanted to know the process so there you have it. I'm glad I got my smile back :)

Have you ever gotten a dental implant? What was your experience like?

Until later-

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