A Non-Reading Mofo

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Fam.. sometimes I just wonder why I even bother stepping outside my house..
Well.. Today I decide on my lunch break to venture over to the Dollar General.. and I know dayum hell well that this one is a lil hood-listical at times..but eh..its the closest one to the job..and I needed to get some ish..
So I had on a Tshirt today that reads: SWAGGA: A mode of dress, having great taste in fashion, a person's DISTINCTIVE style and confident presentation of self.

***note the key word here is DISTINCTIVE***

Ok.. now that we got that out of the way.. let's proceed..

So as I'm checking out...my cashier looks like Precious' smaller sister, complete with a lil ponytail (which why do folks do that ish, if you don't have hair..the ish is NOT meant to be pulled back into a ponytail.. then its just a ony.. clearly...missing some ish..anyhoo i digress..)

So we'll just call her Lil Precious.. she leans over and says : "what you shurt say"? (im writing as if she's talking so now imagine the accent and ish)

I say..its the definition of Swagga..its an old tee.. hell i just threw it on..

you'd think she'd stop.. but no..just b/c my name is Meik...the ish continues..

Lil Precious says..: hmmm mode of dress, having grape taste in fashion, a person's da- da- da- DA-STINGUITIVE style.. that right? DA-STINGUITIVE?




now.. I aint no fool.. I can't fight worth a dayum and this heffa is huge and I'm in a hurry so i just co-sign and say Yeah girl.. that's exactly right..

(dont judge me..hell her english teacher is at fault not me!)

Lil Precious then says: well.. sometimes it be hard to get all dem sylla-bulls out dont it?

Me: Yes chile..I know.. that Da-Stinguitive ish is a rough one.. i know exactly what you mean. (i told ya'll i aint crazy..i just keep on co-signing with her)

Lil Precious: DA-STINGUITIVE.. i like that.. imma get me one of dem shurts.. where you get that at?

Me: Charlotte Russe or Rue 21..

Lil Precious: Where dat is..

Ok at this point I feel like I'm Sherri Shepherd in the dayum movie and i just refuse to finish this got dayum convo .. so I just say at the mall and have a fab day..

i hate ignate ish. i think a lil part of me should hate myself for co-signing on this ignorance..but i just couldn't help it.

Lesson Learned:
Don't wear shirts that require mofos to read..cuz some cannot read.. that is all.

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  1. I can't!! I just can't!!! Please take me NOW!

  2. Wow!!! Some people should not reproduce. Lmfao

  3. I really think you make some of this stuff up but its funny though.

  4. I realized at the "that is all" that my mouth has been hanging open the entire time. This follows swinjed closely....

  5. Girl this ish is just to damn funny. I see everyday you walk out of the house is an adventure. I needed a good laugh today and I have to say you have provided it. I really love reading your blog. Keep up the great work.

  6. Naw i dont have TIME to make this ish up LMAO.. u pay attention..folks do and say crazy ish lol

  7. Thank u guys for reading and laughing with me!

  8. Poor child, at least she tried to sound-it-out, right or wrong, give her a tiny bit of credit for that!!!

  9. FLATLINE! u know we have to help the dumbded peopleses of dis world! they wanna be Da-stinguative too! LOL


  10. I can co-sign completely with this observation. The english language gets mutilated every second of the day, and I hate when I have to witness it. It has always been my mission in life to educate myself to the fullest and more importantly..NOT to be that ignorant sounding Negro in public. I pray lil Precious wakes up one morning and was hit upside the head by the 'Good English' book in her sleep and she learns to slim t-shirts first and assess the linguistic challenge prior to 'municatin her ignorance...however...Slim to her likely translates to 'that blue milk dats nadsty az heyll' Dang!

  11. LMAO you are something else. Hell of a writer and I can visually see this whole scenario!


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