A Non-Reading Mofo

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Fam.. sometimes I just wonder why I even bother stepping outside my house..
Well.. Today I decide on my lunch break to venture over to the Dollar General.. and I know dayum hell well that this one is a lil hood-listical at times..but eh..its the closest one to the job..and I needed to get some ish..
So I had on a Tshirt today that reads: SWAGGA: A mode of dress, having great taste in fashion, a person's DISTINCTIVE style and confident presentation of self.

***note the key word here is DISTINCTIVE***

Ok.. now that we got that out of the way.. let's proceed..

So as I'm checking out...my cashier looks like Precious' smaller sister, complete with a lil ponytail (which why do folks do that ish, if you don't have hair..the ish is NOT meant to be pulled back into a ponytail.. then its just a ony.. clearly...missing some ish..anyhoo i digress..)

So we'll just call her Lil Precious.. she leans over and says : "what you shurt say"? (im writing as if she's talking so now imagine the accent and ish)

I say..its the definition of Swagga..its an old tee.. hell i just threw it on..

you'd think she'd stop.. but no..just b/c my name is Meik...the ish continues..

Lil Precious says..: hmmm mode of dress, having grape taste in fashion, a person's da- da- da- DA-STINGUITIVE style.. that right? DA-STINGUITIVE?

blink.

blink.

blink..

now.. I aint no fool.. I can't fight worth a dayum and this heffa is huge and I'm in a hurry so i just co-sign and say Yeah girl.. that's exactly right..

(dont judge me..hell her english teacher is at fault not me!)

Lil Precious then says: well.. sometimes it be hard to get all dem sylla-bulls out dont it?

Me: Yes chile..I know.. that Da-Stinguitive ish is a rough one.. i know exactly what you mean. (i told ya'll i aint crazy..i just keep on co-signing with her)

Lil Precious: DA-STINGUITIVE.. i like that.. imma get me one of dem shurts.. where you get that at?

Me: Charlotte Russe or Rue 21..

Lil Precious: Where dat is..

Ok at this point I feel like I'm Sherri Shepherd in the dayum movie and i just refuse to finish this got dayum convo .. so I just say at the mall and have a fab day..

i hate ignate ish. i think a lil part of me should hate myself for co-signing on this ignorance..but i just couldn't help it.

Lesson Learned:
Don't wear shirts that require mofos to read..cuz some cannot read.. that is all.

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11 comments

  1. I can't!! I just can't!!! Please take me NOW!

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  2. Wow!!! Some people should not reproduce. Lmfao

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  3. I really think you make some of this stuff up but its funny though.

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  4. I realized at the "that is all" that my mouth has been hanging open the entire time. This follows swinjed closely....

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  5. Girl this ish is just to damn funny. I see everyday you walk out of the house is an adventure. I needed a good laugh today and I have to say you have provided it. I really love reading your blog. Keep up the great work.

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  6. Naw i dont have TIME to make this ish up LMAO.. u pay attention..folks do and say crazy ish lol

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  7. Thank u guys for reading and laughing with me!

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  8. Poor child, at least she tried to sound-it-out, right or wrong, give her a tiny bit of credit for that!!!

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  9. FLATLINE! u know we have to help the dumbded peopleses of dis world! they wanna be Da-stinguative too! LOL

    ThickE

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  10. I can co-sign completely with this observation. The english language gets mutilated every second of the day, and I hate when I have to witness it. It has always been my mission in life to educate myself to the fullest and more importantly..NOT to be that ignorant sounding Negro in public. I pray lil Precious wakes up one morning and was hit upside the head by the 'Good English' book in her sleep and she learns to slim t-shirts first and assess the linguistic challenge prior to 'municatin her ignorance...however...Slim to her likely translates to 'that blue milk dats nadsty az heyll' Dang!

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  11. LMAO you are something else. Hell of a writer and I can visually see this whole scenario!

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