Hey Mofos!

It's been a minute, but I'm still here. I've been recovering and still recovering from throwing my uterus away aka a hysterectomy. I thought I would tell y'all about my experience and some helpful things in case you are about to undergo this major surgery. I will start off by saying.. THIS IS YOUR DECISION, do not let the "well, but you should" negative ass nancy's sway you from what is best for you and your body! Since I'm tired, I ain't gonna hold y'all long but I know some folks have this surgery coming up ASAP and I wanted to make sure I pass on some helpful info. Ready? Let's go! This is gonna be a long one that has taken me days to finish. 

First read this blog that will explain how I made my decision to throw the uterus in the trash. 

Done? Ok, let's proceed! 

Do not watch YouTube videos or in my opinion read all the negative things that happened to folks during surgery. I went down the rabbit hole of YouTube until my doctor snatched my ass back to reality. Here's the other thing, an OB/GYN is who did my myomectomy and jacked my leg up, so this time I was terrified but I went with a surgeon that does this ish 50'levum times a week and in his sleep. He is one of the best in the city and I appreciated how he even took the time to answer allllllll of my questions and even ease my fears. We talked through every single thing. Anyhoo, for me, talking to those that had the surgery helped and they gave me some helpful tips. Plus, what really helped seal the deal, was since I kept my ovaries, my doctor told me I could still retrieve my eggs if I wanted to. For me, that made getting rid of the uterus not seem so bad, if I could save some eggs for me and my future hubby to have chirren if we found a surrogate and had the money to do so. 

Before surgery

I had a couple of virtual/telehealth pre-op appointments where they tell you what not to do. For me, the doc said no heavy lifting--nothing over 10lbs for 8-10 weeks, driving is okay after a week or two, nothing in the vagina for 8 weeks and for some of you that includes your damn fingers (I read about y'all checking your cuff.. ew). My out of work time was slated as 4 to 6 weeks. What's a cuff you ask? When they remove your cervix, they gotta sew that area up so your ish don't slide out and end up in your drawls. Make sense? So you def have to be careful so you don't tear that ish and have a prolapse. 

Anyhoo, 3 hours before surgery, I was told to drink a 20 oz Gatorade. Lemme tell you what, when your bladder is being squished by an enlarged uterus and fibroids, that is the most uncomfy feeling cuz when you get to the surgery center they make your ass wait to pee. I swear I saw stars and I sat there crossing and uncrossing my legs and eyes. 

They wanna check your urine to see if you are pregnant. Lemme tell you, I was so shook and I had on a pair of glasses that I never wear, and as I squatted to pee, filled the cup, set the cup on the floor for a sec, my glasses fell off, hit the cup, pee went everywhere ..JEEZUS IS THIS A SIGN?! Luckily, I had enough pee still going that I could grab the cup and fill it up. TMI I know, but hell. You wanted to know the real right?

The nurse assigned to me, had me take a medicine to relax my bladder (now I can't swallow pills so she had to crush that ish and I know she hates me LMAO), NSAIDs, and Gabapentin. I also was given 6 sanitizing wipes to cleanse my entire body with. 

I had a breakdown before they took me back. It was so bad, because the nurse I had triggered me and had me questioning my decision. I sobbed asking my mama if I made the right decision, then after she calmed me down, I got on the bed, and said if y'all don't take me back there now, I ain't going. That's the last thing I remember. They knocked my ass out IMMEDIATELY LMAO.

After Surgery:

I believe the surgery lasted 3 hours or so. I had a lot of scar tissue/adhesions that was stuck to damn near everything, my uterus was 5x the normal size, there were cysts, fibroids and hell all in there. I also had adenomyosis. So basically I had my uterus, tubes, and cervix removed, keeping my ovaries. I could tell I had to pee so bad after surgery but I couldn't go. They gave me a bed pan.. nothing. Finally they did a quick catheter so I could go and whew.. relief. I went home right after that-- so one day surgery.. in and out. 

Now, bishhhhhhh-- just cuz you kept the ovaries, doesn't mean you won't have some of those menopause symptoms because the ovaries have been traumatized. Hot flashes, body changes, night sweats, YOU NAMMMMME IT! As I turn the corner in week 5, those things have calmed down, but popsicles have helped and a stronger clinical strength deodorant. 

The first 3 days felt like a breeze ---well cuz they put on some numbing medicine that lasts that long, but when it wears off, chile, you feel it! 

Before you throw out all your pads and panty liners.. don't. You'll still need them for a while for spotting. For me, it lasted a couple of weeks. 

Helpful Tips:

1. Get some nightgowns, you want to be comfy and aren't gonna want tight ass pajama pants or shorts around your abdomen. My surgery was laparoscopic and I have 4 incisions-- night gowns are my new fav things. 

2. Some folks suggested an abdominal binder. I didn't use one--that ish hurt based on the location of my incisions. I did have one when I had a myomectomy, but I found that just wearing some good ole granny panties helped me feel secure and not like my insides were swooshing around. But, you can grab one off Amazon if you choose to. My doctor said I didn't need it and he was right. 

3. GAS X. Chile, them gas pains are a donkey and you can't just be trying to push a poot out. Miralax or some kind of stool softener is necessary--again, you don't want to push when you need to go poop. I will say-- your pain meds will cause constipation, so the trick the nurse told me is to get some glycerin suppositories, prune juice, and milk of magnesia and BOOM-- it works! (This was after day 4 of not going). 

4. WALK. Girl, let me see you waaaaalllllk. My doctor told me to make sure after surgery I walked every hour that I was awake. I'm not saying walk a mile, but you want that gas pain to move, and you want your bowels to get going and walking even to the bathroom and back to the bed helps! As the weeks progress--I would increase my walks by 5 minutes.. so right now I'm up to 15-20 minutes depending on how my iron levels decide to behave that day. 

5. REST. The first 2 weeks, your ass betta not do nuthin and I mean nuthin. You get one chance to heal right and why risk it by trying to be fast having the secks before you've been cleared? THAT MOFO CAN WAIT. If he can't.. then he don't care about you or your health chile. If it's you that can't wait, then I'm side-eying you and wondering do you even care about yourself?!

6. Heating pad and ice packs. Now, I had bad sciatica nerve pain the first two weeks, and apparently this is normal. Heating pads worked wonders on my lower back and while laying down, I would flex and point my toes and that helped too. (Ok I found that trick on YouTube). I used and am still using ice packs on my stomach--it feels good, especially these random stabbing nerve pains that keep reminding me I had surgery, plus your stomach is still swollen for a while, and IDK if it's helping but in my head you put ice on swollen ish. 

7. Prep meals and clean your house before surgery. I didn't do the meal prep ish because I wasn't staying at home the first week and a half, I was at my mom's house, so why should I cook?! LOL But I did clean the house and rearranged my kitchen and bathroom so I could reach things without bending over. Some people say they lose their appetites, I am not one of those. However, I did discover that some foods I craved and ate with the fibroids, I no longer wanted. I also can't handle certain foods--like anything that's gonna cause gassiness is a nope.. leave it. Spicy--nah sis, and fried foods--do it at your own risk. Start out gentle with soups and things and experiment with what works for you. At this point in my recovery, I've found that I no longer like french fries and gimme a moment.... I'm still mourning. 

8. A Grabber is your bff. I didn't think about this, but my mom got me one to use, because when I got back home, I needed to pick up things that I dropped. You never realize how much you are dropping things until you can't bend over to pick the shit up. I was also squatting to pick stuff up so I didn't have to bend, but I also just went thru physical therapy for months and these quads and hamstrings gonna get this work. 

9.  Some women have some kind of magical healing potion I'm convinced and could immediately get back into their jeans. I ain't them. I wore nothing but nightgowns the first 2 weeks, eased into some shorts that didn't squeeze my stomach, and by week 3 1/2 I could button my jeans, but couldn't wear them comfortably, but found some leggings that don't hurt. I haven't been able to wear my sweat pants because of the elastic, but if you can, you are a chosen one. 

10. If you need help from family and friends, don't be so independent and try to do everything on your own. If it wasn't for my mom, I wouldn't have clean clothes, there was no way I could do laundry and even now it's still a struggle. Let people help! I was able to shower the next day, but I think only because I didn't have to lift my leg to get into the tub, it was a shower I could just walk into it. I also didn't let the water hit me directly in the stomach, because that just seemed like it might hurt. 

11. Pillows! I got a pregnancy C-pillow to sleep with--I still can't sleep on my side without feeling like my insides slid to the side, but it is comfy for me to sleep on my back feeling like someone is hugging me, it provides support on both sides and under my legs. When I'm sitting on the couch, I have a wedge pillow because sitting straight up isn't the most comfy. You will need a pillow to act as a buffer between you and a seatbelt, so make sure you have one in the car day of surgery. 

12. I prepared emotionally. I did multiple EFT Tapping sessions and therapy sessions to wrap my brain around a hysterectomy. It felt like my womanhood was being snatched away, like no one would want me because I wasn't complete anymore. Then I realized, was I ever complete with fibroids? No. I was miserable as hell. I worried that the guy I was seeing wouldn't want me and I was terrified to even tell him about this procedure, but I also realized, it ain't got shit to do with him or anybody else, this is my body. This is for me to reclaim my life and body. I cried and bid my uterus a goodbye, and even ugly cried thru messages to the child I thought I would carry one day (this was before I was told I could retrieve my eggs after surgery). I struggled through seeing others being pregnant and joyful just as I was about to take that away. So my EFT lady got me together and reminded me that I was getting rid of all the trauma and negativity, and getting a clean slate to discover myself. When I walked into the surgery center, I was calm, nervous yes, but calm because I had changed my perspective on this surgery and what it meant for me. I saw it as a second chance and a chance to erase all the bad decisions of men I had ever been with LOL. I told myself that I'd get to my goal weight soon and wear the crop tops, scars and all. 

After surgery, yeah there's been crying for no reason, but it's hormones out of whack. I have no regrets at all. NONE. Yes, it's still hard to celebrate pregnancies of others right now while I'm still kind of mourning what could have been (tho could it, because of all the drama that was inside my body?!), I've had to re-examine friendships because the folks I thought would show up for me--they simply didn't, and the ones that did, I had to realize they are truly the ones that have been in my corner for a while. I also learned that men are truly clueless when it comes to hysterectomies and that's okay.

I've also had to draw boundaries to keep my stress levels down-- I noticed that when I get stressed, the hot flash starts and jeezus, I want to sit in the freezer and be left alone. I'm learning that don't have to respond to every text, answer every call. LEAVE ME BE! LOL

This is the first break from work and writing that I've had in a long time and it gave me time to get closer to my mom, since she took care of me and I'm forever grateful to her. 

I'm 5 weeks as I write this blog, and I don't have all the answers. My iron levels are still janky, so I'm exhausted at even getting out of the bed, I'm healing, but know that everybody's body is different, so while I may have felt great the first two weeks, you might not. My appetite has waned, which has affected my glucose levels and has me dizzy and looking crazy, but I AINT LOST NO WEIGHT YET LMAO.. and with that I will say-- the scale might not be your friend while you are still swelling. I weighed one thing in the morning, and by the end of the day, I weighed 5lbs less, but then the next day I was up 3lbs. So, if you like having your emotions played with, by all means weigh yourself lol. I still have PMS symptoms, I'm emotional, and cry at the smallest thing. 

It's a process, and your body just went thru a major trauma, be kind to yourself and your body. I'm learning to be patient. I'm excited to learn who I am without fibroids, without a heavy period that holds me hostage in the house for several days. I'm excited to see what my body looks like after the swelling goes away and my iron levels are normal again. I'm excited to learn who I am and what my normal is. I know this, NO MORE PERIODS AND I CAN WEAR WHITE! 

This isn't a complete guide or anything, but hopefully this helps someone.

Let me know in the comments if you have had a hysterectomy and what other tips or questions you have! 

Keep healing and stay positive! 

~Meik