Lemme buy you a drank

Monday, May 19, 2014

*sigh* One of these days.. I swear fo gawd I am going to lock myself inside my room and never come out.

What's shakin Mofoville???? What's wrong Meik?

I'm so glad you asked! Have you ever decided to step outside your comfort zone only for it to explode in your face? Just me??

Friday night I decided to attend this touring show called The Great Love Debate: Why is everyone still single?? .. and you can read my recap right here on the Carolina Style Magazine website about the things I took away from it http://carolinastylemag.com/2014/05/17/men-vs-women-the-fight-to-end-being-single-in-the-queen-city/

Anyhoo..after the event we all headed down the street for a mixer, because after all we're all single, and allegedly looking to mingle right?

So.. I head over with a friend and she introduces me to some dude that I recognize from the event that stood up to express his opinion about how to approach a woman.. it didn't impress me then and he sure wasn't really impressing me now, but I'm stepping out of my comfort zone remember? He tells me he is going to school to be a producer/director..I tell him what I do, he informs me that he is also a barber and rambled off a few other jobs, but I stopped breathing momentarily because his breath smelled like hot dog water mixed with fried bologna.. ewww sir what you been eating?!!!!

Anyhoo..so we continue chatting about..hell I don't know..I think I lost consciousness.. so once I can turn my head to gasp for air.. he then says "Can I buy you a drink?" So I see this as my escape for air.. sure.. let's go to the bar.
Well, my friend that had promised to drive me to my car has to leave so she tells yuck mouF to make sure I get to my car safe and sound. He assures her he will and I'm giving her the WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME look but she clearly isn't paying me any attention.

I turn to the bar and he's leaning over me talking.. I just wanna slide to the dayum floor and rock in a ball. I grab the menu and bury my head in it, he leans over asking me about the drinks and says "You should get the Apple Martini--it's the special.. and it's $7." I say, maybe but I really like the creme brulee martinis here because no other place in the city makes them like this. It's $10. He says okay, let's both get one. So we order. He tells me that his ex wife's bday was in September and I say oh mine is in September..he says "it's my destiny to be with a woman born in September"...

Do what?!!!! mmmk. Bartender hands us our drinks. I turn to talk to this lil elderly german lady behind me because during the event she said she knew why white men don't pursue black women so I had to ask.. she informed me that it's because the white baby looks up at it's mother while breastfeeding and sees a white face and because they love their mother so much, they won't pursue a black woman. Hmm. Does Robin Thicke know this ish? That whole theory alone is just pure utter foolishness but anyhoo... this ain't the point of the story.. dude taps me and says ummmmmm "she says it's $22 for the drinks".. me: okay.. thank you. I turn back around and the lady has walked away. I turn back to the bar to get my drink... I hear him asking the bartender.. "Is that $22 A PIECE ..like PER DRINK??" *sigh* Bartender says no.. it's the total. He whips out a crumpled $10 bill and a $1 bill and says ummmmmmmmm and sideeyes me.
"what is the problem?"

Him: She said it's $22

Ok we've established that.. so pay her.

Him: *looks at his crumpled up money and back at me and back at the money and back at me*

sigh.. I'll pay for my own drink..

He starts to put his money up and says are you sure??

YES. I WILL PAY FOR MINE!!! You need to pay for YOURS.

Him: oh, so..

I hand over my card and pay for mine.. add a tip.. done.. sipping carefree trying to figure out how to ditch him..

I mean..how you gonna offer to buy me a drink if you don't have barely enough to buy your own?

He informs me that he has to go to the bathroom.. I think thank gaaaaawd now I can ditch him and go on my merry lil way..

I saw him a few minutes later breathing dragon fire into some other chick's ear..

Fellas.. and ladies also.. hell EVERYBODY..if you don't have the funds.. don't offer to do ish you can't afford.. it only embarrasses you and makes you look like a Mofo. Not to mention, you won't be getting the digits either. My guy friends said this mofo probably thought this was how you get a chick to buy a drink but listen..he got the right one..cuz I didn't need his arse to buy me a drink and I certainly was NOT about to purchase his..mmmk. Shenanigans like this..is exactly why I'm STILL single. I didn't need the Great Love Debate to answer that for me.

So have you had this experience before?

This song seemed appropriate.. kinda..

y'all stay classy!

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  1. LOL Why did your girl do you like that?

  2. LMAO! Hilarious! I am sorry that your friend left you hanging with ol hot bref.. Yes.. bref.. LOL


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