Misinformed Mofo

Monday, April 08, 2013

Have you ever been just hanging out with someone ...and in the blink of an eye you're in a relationship and someone forgot to inform you?

Just me?

What happened Meik?

I'm ohhhhh so glad you asked!

Once upon a time, a couple years ago I met this guy at a mutual friend's cookout. (Yeah this never happens to me any other time, so I was actually excited that an attractive guy was actually talking to me and actually had some sense and could string intelligent sentences together AND lo and behold he had a sense of humor!).. but anyhoo.. we hit it off and exchanged numbers.

And because I'm always the chick that seems to meet the guys that have just gotten out of a relationship and are still woe is me-ing and talking about bishes ain't ish.. this time wasn't much different. He informs me that he and his girlfriend of 2 years broke up a few weeks prior to us meeting because he felt like she was cheating, but it's cool, he's over it, and has no plans in getting back with her because he can't trust her.

Blink. mmk bruh.. mmmmmmmmmmk.

Anyhoo, we start hanging out, going out for drinks here and there, texting, talking on the phone, but there's never a "we're dating vibe" going on, at least not to my lil ole knowledge.

Fast forward to the one night he offers to pick me up instead of us meeting at our usual drinking spot .. ummmm ok whatevs.. he's opening doors, being all nice n ish..and I'm like ok wtf is going on. So after we hang out, he drops me off..comes in the house to just chill for a minute. We are sitting on my couch, and I'm rambling on and on about something and next thing I know his lips are on my lips..and... lawd..

What is goings on?!!!! *opens one eye* I mean he fine.. and single..and WAYMENT..NO.. I can't.. he ain't over his ex and well... lemme kiss him one more time before I throw his arse outta here..

So I push him away.. WTF was that? (mind you, I'm still thinking we just homegirl and homeboy hanging out cuz that's the usual way ish goes in my life..there's never a "ooooooh I like you, let's actually work towards something" moment everrrrr..) anyway.. He says sorry, I just wanted to kiss you, but I'll leave.

mmmk. bye negro.

The weeks go by, and we're still hanging out every now and again..not that often, but another cookout comes up.. and lo and behold we are both in attendance. (Side note..Damn I miss those house party -cookouts..but no.. ole mofo just had to move away) Anyhoo.. He asks me to follow him into the bathroom.



Ok, I'm intrigued, so you know I went.

Ummmmmmm why are we in this bathroom together? I'm not finna hunch you in someone's else's bathroom during a party, my name is not Brandi from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills n ish.

He just stands there, lowers his head and says, I need to tell you something.

Blink Blink Blink.. well.. with all the dramatic pauses and actions he got goings on you'd think he was about to tell me he is pregnant or some ish. WHAT NINJA WHAT?

"I think it's best if we break up, I think that I'm going to get back with my ex girlfriend .. it's just complicated.."

Do what now?

Did he just....Was I..... wayment. We were in a relationship?! Where the hell was I when this went down?! FURTHERMORE How he gonna break up with me at a cookout in a bathroom and how am I supposed to react?!

Breathe Meik Meik and think.......

So... I say quietly: Break up? What?

He says, "Well, I got the feeling you were seeing other people, so I guess it's just best we just be friends." Then.. THENNNNNNNN the ninja leans over and kisses me, and waits for me to cry, kick and scream. All I can do is blank stare and repeat.. we breaking up? I was dating other people? Breaking up?! I have other people to date? Well holy hell. That's a first. Meik Meik has other people to date. WAYMENT.. when was I even dating this mofo?!

Then the gut punch kicker is when he says ... "Oh, and she's here at the party, so I just wanted to let you know so you don't come up to me saying something or trying to kiss me"


Blink Blink Blink Blink *Blanket Jackson Blank Stare*

Now, if you know me, you already know I'm 1. Too shy to be rolling up on someone like that 2. Not about to be doing all kinds of PDA with someone I'm not dating when there are other eligible men in sight.. and well hell.. did he really just break up with me in a bathroom?!

I just walked out of the bathroom...turned the corner and fell into a sniggle fit. Mofo just dumped Meik Meik! Anyhoo I didn't speak to him again until I ran into at another event a year later and he informed me that they are still together but he is willing to try to work it out with me. Sir. WORK WHAT OUT? BYE.

It's funny whenever I see him out and about now ..I just duck and dodge, my nerves can't take anymore of his ignate ish and I ain't tryin to get beat up.

Lesson Learned: It's always the cute ones that have some ish. Seriously, the lesson I learned is be up front and honest and COMMUNICATE so both parties are on the same page. I'm still taken aback that I had a boyfriend and didn't even know it. I feel slighted. I have a request, the next mofo to break up with me.. can you puleeze do it in a private setting..without your boo thang in the next room? Thank yewww..

Until Later..

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  1. Yes...those are the hardest relationships to get over..the ones you didn't know you were actually in. By the way girl, we breaking up too..LAWD.

  2. lol "*Blanket Jackson Blank Stare*" At least he didn't think you were his wife! You mighta gotten slammed with divorce papers.

  3. Lmao! You should've asked the girlfriend if she knew they were back together. She probably didn't know that. Smh...

  4. Yo. This is funny. You gotta figure out why you keep attracting rebound dudes. AND, you gotta tell them, I think you're really cool and I would love to hang out with you. Call me in 6 months when you're over your ex.

  5. LMBO... How you get broken up with and you're not in a relationship? LOL dang

    Communicating the terms of the situation would help....someone should have told him that.


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