Awkward Mofo Moments

Tuesday, March 05, 2013

Hello Mofo Chronicle-ites!


What's wrong Meik?

I'm so glad you asked!

The last few days the Queen City (Charlotte, NC) has been CIAA of basketball games, parties, parties, and more parties...did I mention PARTIES 24/7? Now don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with partying..but I'm just getting too old to hang like I used to.

I found out the hard way on Saturday night that 2 24 oz cans of Limearitas + 3 large glasses of Sex on the Beach = a night/next morning of hugging the toilet and vomi-gagging everything. I clearly can't seem to nail down that beer and liquor don't go together.

I also found out that combination of drinks makes me think I am on Soul Train, and I twerk it, pop it, walk it out, stanky leg (YES I DID THE STANKY LEG..DO NOT JUDGE ME), and looked back at it while shoulder leaning and bank head bouncing all by myself on the dance floor. I am so ashamed of myself.

Let's get to the meat and potatoes of this blog, it's not to discuss my weekend drinking problem or my attempts at being a Solid Gold dancer.

I ended the weekend by meeting up with a friend for brunch. Sounds simple enough right?

C'mon, this is me. It's not THAT simple.

First, the hostess is super rude, walks us to our table, and throws the menus down, without saying hi, go to hell, eat a ding ding, nada. Didn't even bother to give us silverware. Well alrighty pudding pop..which brings up a question, why must folks have attitudes at their jobs's not OUR fault they work it?

Anyway..the waitress comes to the table. I'm in the middle of telling a story about some nonsense when she comes up, and we place our drink orders, and I have a bad habit of not really looking up from the menu to see who the f I'm talking to and then I hear her say my name.

I'm awful at faces, especially when hungover. Blink Blink Blink *Blanket Jackson Blank Stare* WHO IS THIS CHICK AND WHY DOES SHE KNOW WHO I AM?!


After she talks for a couple of seconds finally clicks in the alcohol induced brain of mine who she is..

Are you sitting down?

I'll wait.

No really, sit down...

She is the ex-girlfriend of my ex from high school. We won't get into how many years ago that was that I dated him, but over the years we kept in touch, he apologized for a lot of mess he did to me back then and every now and again, he would come to me for advice and whining about ish she was doing to him. (They dated more in the past decade) Since I only knew his side of the story, it seemed to me the relationship was pure toxic drama that I wanted no parts of, I even had to quit talking to him for awhile because I just didn't want to be caught up in all that mess. I have my own issues, hell.

I think the mint just fell out of my mouth. Oh my f'n dayum.

What the f do I do? Get up and walk out, move to another section, run like hell to the nearest exit? Then I thought, no, don't act a donkey and cause a scene, because I have never done anything to this girl and the only way I knew she hated the very ground I walked on was because the ex told me that. So since she's making an effort to be friendly and nice, I decide I can do the same. (I ain't crazy tho..I ordered some ish that was pre-made that she couldn't spit in and mix it up.. I stayed away from anything with sauce and cream)..We make some awkward small talk convo and I decide she seems harmless..kinda. She scares me..a lil.

I admit, this had my nerves rattled a bit, not because I have feelings for the ex, but just knowing all the ish I know and how much this chick can't stand lil ole me. It just made for the most awkward hour or so that we were there.

Most folks probably wouldn't have left a tip, but because I am trying to be a better Christian and trying to take the high road (don't u dare mention my drinking..God is still working on me!) I left her a more than 20% tip, because she actually was a great waitress.

I think it's unfortunate that folks can hate you for no reason without even knowing ish about you other than what you hear through the grapevine. I have no clue what the ex may have told her or led her to believe, and I don't care. Besides, it's been 2 days and I haven't croaked yet, or had bubble guts so I guess she didn't taint the food. Maybe she decided to take the high road also. Imagine that two black women deciding to get along.

Lesson Learned: Being petty doesn't really pay off. Sometimes it is just better to take the high road. Next CIAA, I need to sit my arse down somewhere because partying several days in a row like I am in college ain't fuh me. I'm too dayum old!

My question for you guys.. how would you have handled this situation?

Stay Classy!


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  1. I prob would've done the same thing you did. That kill 'em with kindness thing always seems to work. But if I were HER, I would've had someone else wait on your hungover self!

  2. LOL right if I were her and had all that hatred, I would have asked someone else to take that table..maybe she was killing me with kindness LOL

  3. I have a deep fear of my food being spit in..or worse getting a booger souffle..I would have said hi and bye.

  4. I would have taken the high road as well.

  5. I would have done the same thing! LOL!

  6. I wouldn't have been hungry anymore lol


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