Merry Chrimus!!! n ish..

Have you ever had some raggely arse customer service before? I'm talking it's so raggely you just wanna knock their cash register off the counter, or reach through the phone and choke a mofo?

No? Just me? Oh .. Ok. I debated on blogging about this experience, but the more I thought about it, I figured ah hell.. might as well right?

What happened Meik?

I'm so glad you asked! :)

Stroll with me down memory lane to earlier this month. I took a jacket to the cleaners and it had ONE water spot on it because the suede jacket had been chilling in Thriller's trunk and lo and water got into the car when I went thru the car wash.. a itsy bitsy lil leak will ruin your whole day I tell you..and I'm not talking about a piss pot leak. Anyhoo..I go to this cleaners in Huntersville, NC (because I'm tryin to behave I'm not gonna name the place..but I will just say it's off exit 23 off I-77 lol) the lady, who doesn't speak English very well assures me that they can get the spot out and to come back next week.

Fast forward the following week, I come in to pick it up.. I look at the jacket.. blink blink blink.. *rubs eyes* blink blink blink... umm... why come this jacket now has 3 additional spots? and why come it looks like someone tried to iron this mofo? So she tells me.. "we clean one mo time".. I said okay, but Meik Meik ain't paying full price for that ish..if at all.

Another few days go by and I go back to pick up the jacket. She hangs it up with the plastic over it and says that'll be $35.

Ma'am.. no the hell it won't. Lemme look at this thang..

blink

blink

blink..

WHY COME THE SPOTS ARE STILL THERE?!

She says "oh they won't come out.. 35 dollar"

Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiish.. bye. Aint no way in hell I'm paying you 35 dollars for a jacket that has more stains on it then when I set foot in here 2 weeks ago. NO WAY IN SATAN'S HOT ARSE HELL. I rant.. rave.. dayum near jump on the counter.. and she takes the jacket back to the back. WTF?! So now I can't have the jacket?!

She just keeps standing there mute n ish.. just pissing me off even more. Finally she says I need to talk to her husband.

WTF is he!? So she calls him on the phone.. and as she's jibber jabbering on and on I hear her slip out a darkie every other word..and no I don't know Korean but I dayum sho know the word DARKIE. *sideeying this heffa*

She hands me the phone and I explain to her husband everything that I just told you all.. and this mofo says.. wayment lemme get my blood pressure under control.. *breathe in and out slow..woooooooooosaaaaaaaa*

y'all ready?

This mofo says "IS THAT ALL?"

Babyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy jeeeezus betta come grab this wheel right now now now now now!!!!!!!

Excuse me sir?

Then this mofo proceeds to ATTEMPT to *in my Funky Dineva voice* Go in and let have on me.. chile.. he starts screaming in the phone telling me that I don't know the dry cleaning business and you don't iron suede and I better not say nothing else.

*looks at phone* pause.

WHO IN THE DAYUM HAYLE IS HE YELLING AT? I had to remember I am saved and sanctified, but I immediately let him know that I am not his timid arse wife and he will NOT disrespect me yelling at me like he has lost his rabbit arse mind.. AND he WILL NOT act like I've worked in George Jefferson's cleaners and should know this ish...then I flung the phone back at the lady and told her she betta get her dumb arse husband.

I started to let her arse have it also, but when I stopped for a second and looked at her cowering in the corner, literally shrinking like I was gonna jump over the counter and hit her, it took me back to a scene that is all too familiar and that I have seen so many times.... an abused woman, so I backed off.. INSTEAD I told her arse I'd give her $5 for my mutha f'n jacket and I will never set foot in that raggely cleaners again..

She just kept shaking her head and saying mmmmmmm....NO.

ok.. $10?

mmmmmmm......NO.

WTF U MEAN NO?! U just gonna hold my jacket hostage over some ish YOU f'd up?

She then says 20.

So after we went back and forth, I figured her hubby threatened her and I just wanted the f outta there..so I said 20 and your arse betta not charge me tax or ELSE.

Then she writes something crazy on my receipt and of course y'all know I'm thinking she done put "RUTTS" *in my Tito Jackson voice* on me and I flip! WTF IS THAT ISH?!

she whispers my name.

jeeezus let me just get up outta here and go home.. I tell her that I will be filing a complaint and will never be back and hopefully nobody else goes back either.

Lesson Learned: If you own a biz.. customer service is essential! These mofos never once apologized for their mistake..never tried to make amends, instead they tried to make it seem like I should just get over it and pay them. Maybe that's how it works in their country and maybe other people let them get away with just doing their clothing any kind of way..but listen.. I DONT MUNK WITH MY JACKETS OR MY SHOES. Next time.. I'll just try a home remedy and if I f it up on my own..then it's on me.

Ya'll behave ya heard?
~Meik