Split Personalities

Saturday, October 20, 2012

"I want to find love again."

How many of us have uttered those words? Just me? Oh okay.

Well regardless of whether or not you admit it, we all want someone to love and someone to love us back. Where are you going with this Meik?

I'm glad you asked :)

This week I had the pleasure of attending an event hosted by OWN's (that's Oprah's network) Paul Brunson.. he is on the show Love Town, and he's also a matchmaker.

Paul just released a book called It's Complicated, now while I haven't read it yet, I was intrigued by what Paul could possibly teach us..granted, I follow him on twitter and am always interested in his takes on dating.

ANTYWAY.. I'm going to tell you what this event taught me.... and who knows maybe it'll help you as well..

The first thing that made me take a step back and really think was when Paul put up a list of Values on the big screen, and said to pick your top 3.. then the next slide was about the various personality types.. they were Analyst, Controller, Supporter, and Promoter..

Now I myself happen to be a mixture of Analyst, Controller, and Supporter, but I realized as I read the list that I tend to attract the Analyst, Controller, Promoter..with that being said, after demonstrating (thru live interaction with the audience which I loved by the way), he showed us how having different personalities work better than two people that get together with the same personality type.


Stay with me on this.. so this made me reflect a bit... I looked over at my friend boy that was sitting beside me and thought, this is why it didn't work when we tried to date. It's so funny so often people try to push us together just because we look cute in pics, we get along, but I realized..we are both Analyst and Controller types, so while it may be cute for about a week or two, the ish will hit the fan eventually cuz I am gonna tell him what I ain't gonna do and he will do the same.. then someone gonna end up cut in his sleep .. Sorry.. flashback LOL jk.. but it just doesn't work in a relationship, but as friends..it's absolutely perfect, because we feed off each others craziness. So then I thought about King Mofo.. after almost 8 years.. WHY COULDN'T THIS WORK? Well.. for one, our values weren't the same I discovered and two, both of us being Virgos and the same personality type..no wonder we stayed on a roller coaster ride the entire time. Hell, I should've cut his arse but that's another story.

So, I walked away from the event thinking back on all the guys that I have dated over the years, and how they fit into the same type of personality pattern that I am or they just didn't have the same values that I do, so I say all this to say this was an eye opener, because this makes me want to open my mind a little wee bit and step outside of my comfort zone and stop being boxed into attracting the same kind of dudes.. cuz clearly that ish is not getting me anywhere. Now don't get me wrong, he still has to be attractive to me n ish.

One other thing that stood out to me was when Paul told us that it is possible to love again. Ya'll already know I was blinking 100x a second at the thought. Then I realized you know what, he's right.. all this time I've been too afraid of getting this lil ole heart of mine broken again that I haven't even TRIED to think of that even being possible. Hell, I have a permanent sign on the door that says LOVE DON'T LIVE HERE..SO DON'T DAYUM KNOCK..AIN'T NOBODY HOME! lol.. but who knows, maybe one day love will come knocking, and I just might look through the peep hole to see who the hell is knocking so loud like they the po po.. cuz after all.. Mr. Brunson says, you just have to BELIEVE it can happen.

So here goes.. I BELIEVE that my lust crushes will fall in love with me and we will ride off into the sunset!! Okay Okay.. I know that's not what he meant.. but it's a start ain't it?

So my advice.. if Paul Brunson's tour comes to your city, GO! It's an eye opening event that has put a dent in my way of thinking when it comes to dating, tho here in the Queen City.. well.. I don't have time to get into that LOL..

So my question to you.. have you stepped outside of your comfort zone and tried something new and met someone?

Until Later

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  1. Hey, I loved reading this. I attended Paul's event in Philly. I got the same take aways as you. At the event in Philly he did not have slides. He did do a exercise on how to approach the opposite sex. I needed to see that. Did he do that in your city too? You can read my recap at www.chasing-joy.com/2012/10/dating-advice-for-joyful-relationship.htm

  2. Very cool. Your blog rocks. I'm a love grinch but I got the right one the 2nd time around.

  3. Chasing Joy-Thank you! He did do the exercises on how to approach and flirt.. I needed to see that too LOL I'll check out your recap right now!

    Thank you Jon! I hope I can find the right one ..one of these days!

  4. Fantastic blog entry Meik! I like to think I'm a hopeless romantic when I'm not being a Virgo & analyzing something to the nth degree. Lol! Yes, I love to love to LOVE and you know I'm gonna tell you YES you can love again!


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