Snap, Crackle, Pop

Posted by ~Meik on


Lawd jeeeezus. Now ya'll know if I'm starting this blog off with that..then you already know this ain't finTa go well at-all.

Stroll with me down memory lane.. to a few hours ago.

I come up with the brilliant idea (after 24 hours prior deciding I need to stop eating out so much) to go to Chick Fil A for some lunch before work. So I had every intention of working out before work also.. so I threw on a pair of shorts, my sports bra, and a t-shirt that didn't match a darn thing cuz after all , WHO is going to see me?? I'm rolling thru the drive thru..right? The good news is I at least half arsed combed my hair.. kinda.

blink.

blink..

So I hop in the car, call up my sister to chat while I drive and once I get to the red light right near the Chick Fil A.. I hear a loud arse POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPP..

lawd jeeeezus I been shot! I'm ducking in the car screeching and my sister is asking me what happened and all I can do is whisper..something just happened.. I think someone is shooting and my window..oooh jeeez they shot out my window.. THRILLER IS HURT..DOWN FOR THE COUNT.. so I hang up from her as she's trying to turn into motivational speaker at the wrong darn time as usual..

I slouch down and try to check my surroundings.. now why the hell ain't anyone else ducking and dodging bullets? I look in the side mirror and see the man behind me don't look like he just got done firing a round into my beloved Thriller.. the people around me just look like this is normal everyday ish.. I am not used to being shot at..but I digress..

So I whip Thriller (that's my car's name in case you're wondering..gotta pay homage to the King of Pop in every possible way I can right?) into the closest parking lot which is the Chili's lot..and I literally take up two spaces..and am sure I'm going into shock because I'm shaking like hell and beyooooond freaking out.

So.. I get out the car to survey the damage as a white car rolls up and a couple of men get out and head over to me.. lawd jeeezus WHAT NOW?!!!!!!

Man #1: Ma'am are you okay?

Me: NO I'VE BEEN SHOT?!!

Man #2: Ma'am.

Me: AM I BLEEDING DO YOU SEE IT.. HELP.. IVE BEEN SHOT! I THINK IVE LOST FEELING IN EVERYTHING CUZ NOTHING HURTS! DO YOU SEE BLOOD?!!!!

Man#1: Ma'am.

Me: LAWD DONT DO ME LIKE THIS.. I DIDNT EVEN GET MY LAST CHICK FIL A SAMMICH! (ok I was thinking this part I didn't say it out loud lmaooo) ...THAT MOFO THAT'S BEEN SHOOTING FOLKS IN EAST CHARLOTTE DONE CAME TO THE NORTH SIDE!!!

Man#2: I don't think you were shot. There's no bullet holes anywhere.

Me: THEY GOT ME.. wait. I didn't get shot? oh.

blink.

blink.

blink.

Me: Um, who are ya'll? I sure hope you're the police because I'm not supposed to talk to strangers.

Man#1: (shows me his badge) Yes we're with CMPD.

Me: Oh good, YOU SURE I HAVEN'T BEEN SHOT?!! CHECK AGAIN.. AM I BLEEDING OUT THE BACK OF MY HEAD?!!!!

Man #2: Ma'am.


Ok so you get the point. I wasn't shot. These lovely detectives inspected Thriller and made sure I had calmed down, they were the voice of reason and told me to call the insurance company and get a mobile glass company to come fix it. They also informed me that yes, windows do shatter on their own especially when it gets hotter than hell outside.

oh.

Long story short.. the glass repairman showed up to fix Thriller's window, but I swear fo gawd hearing that loud pop and seeing that window just shatter and fall all to hell scared the ish out of me. I'm just glad I wasn't on the interstate flinging glass everywhere and I'm especially glad I didn't get shot..lawd can you imagine if I did?!

Lesson Learned: Don't leave the darn house looking like who did it and why, you never know wtf might happen... once again, grandma's advice finally makes sense.. dress decent no matter what. Least I had the good sense to have lotion on LOL. Also, I learned you're supposed to crack the window's when it's hot outside to avoid problems like this. Having insurance sure does come in handy when ish POP's off..

Ya'll stay cool and classy!

~Meik


2 comments:

Anonymous said...
June 20, 2012 at 11:21 AM

Yep...heading out to roll my windows down a little it's over 90 degrees in Ohio today. Ta hell if my window shatters here..we all know to call First 48 #Cleveland. *Goes back to my corner with my chair*

CM Writer said...
July 6, 2012 at 8:03 AM

I liked ta died reading this! LOL

It reminds me of the "can of biscuits" story that was roaming around the web years ago!

"I'm shot!!" Bwahahahahahahahah

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