Mingling with Mofos

Thursday, February 10, 2011

What up fam? With CIAA approaching us in the Queen City.. I thought now would be a good time to dig into my blog bag.. this post was the first one I wrote for Creative Loafing in 2009.. Enjoy!


Remember the days of those middle school dances … boys on one side of the room, the girls on the other?

Your favorite jam comes on … you sway, maybe even two step a lil’ bit … hoping and praying and wishing upon every star there is that one of them mofos on the other side of the room will step to you?

Both sides of the room start staring each other down, then bashfully looking away, then taking a chance to take a sneak peek to see if they might be looking?

Well, the social scene in the Queen City as a grown-ass adult … is no different.

For the life of me I cannot understand why its so hard to mingle with folks at social events. I thought maybe it’s a fluke, but after hitting up a few parties over the past couple of years — same ole ish, different day/party

Some say it’s because of the cliques that have formed, others say its because, simply put, it is what it is.

So I just had to put together a list of helpful hints so that mixing and mingling is a lil’ less Queen City Middle School-esque:

1. Fellas: If a female walks up to you and says hello … there’s absolutely no need for you to start displaying bitchassness qualities by freaking out like she’s trying to propose. All the mofo said was “HELLO” … a simple “HELLO” in response is all we are asking for.

2. Ladies: If a man buys you a drink, it don’t mean you have to give up the drawz. Take the drink and keep it moving. And men, if we accept the drink, that DOES NOT mean we are now damn-near engaged and you are going to the crib for the night. It is what it is. You bought the drink. Thanks.

3. Staring is just rude. At least do the 3 second rule: Look, hold three seconds, then turn ya damn head. Or put on your big boy boxers or your big girl thongs and open your mouth and speak.

4. I get that you came to the party/event with your crew, but cliques are soooooo 90s. Break out of the group and mingle! Networking is so NOW!

5. And lastly, if you finally make that move to mingle and you are met with a blank stare and a rapid succession of blinks (as I’m known to give folks), don’t give up. Just say nice meeting you and take your ass on to the next person…

Lesson Learned: Fam, we are grown. Time to ditch the security blanket called your clique once we enter a social event. Hell, you never know who you might meet

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