Put some STANK on it

Monday, January 31, 2011

Oncetaupon a time there was a naïve fool named Meik that just had to jump into dating before she was ready in 2006...and yet another tale for the Mofo Chronicles...

This particular stud I met on a social networking site I think, but since he worked with someone I knew and I had already done my "research" I decided to proceed. (insert eye roll..cuz just cuz it's me.. you know it didn't even go the way it was supposed to..)

What happened Meik?

OOOOOOOH I'm so glad you finally got around to asking!

So we decided to go out to dinner for our first date and we met at the restaurant cuz u already know a mofo ain't coming to the crib..

We get there..everything is kool..he's way cuter than his pics and tall and muscular woooo jeeeezus...BUT...has a slight temper issue..but hell who doesn't..

First red flag: I dropped my napkin and when I leaned under the table ya'll aint gonna believe what the f I saw..

What was it Meik?

I can't.

I just......

No.. I'm not gonna tell you.


Ok. You twisted my arm.. I'll tell you.

This mofo had taken his timbs off like he at home..mismatched socks and a slight stench.

Tha hell?

Now how the hell am I pose to sit back up and look at him without dying laughing?

wooo saaaaaaaaa get it together..

Finally.. I sat up.. and ya'll know I can't just NOT say something.. so I said "oh wow, took ya shoes off huh?"

Him: "yeah, I figure if I am gonna pay to eat out, I should feel like I'm at home..nah mean?"

blink. blink. blink. blink.

Me: "uhhh... no." (As I bite my tongue to ask if he washed his mofo'n socks..hell feet for that matter)..

Him: "I'm saying yo.. a man has to be comfortable while he's eating.. and if I wanna take my shoes off then that's what I'm gonna do."

**blank stare**

Despite that lil mishap...things were okay.. til it was time to go. He walked me to my car.. and some guys were walking to their car..that was parked beside me..

Now.. once again, you KNOW this couldn't just be a simple goodbye..deuces.. hollarations type of joint..go our separate ways never to talk to each other again right?

Second Red Flag: Mofo looks at the guys..they look over at us.. and my mofo'n date snaps..

Him: "YO WTF YOU LOOKIN AT SON? I GOT HEAT..blah blah blah blah blah (I was in such a blank stare horrifical state yes HORRIFICAL..that I couldn't process the rest of what he was saying)

They just shake their heads and keep walking.. meanwhile Nutty MCNutt over here keeps on screeching about them looking over at us.

So finally I try to diffuse the situation and say..I don't think they were STARING or anything..they just glanced over here..no biggie..

But you know as well as I do..You can't talk crazy off that ledge sometimes.. so he stomps after them..

Now.. my good and damn sense kicked in..I got in my car and bounced..

This mofo texted me and called for days wanting to know when we gonna go out again.




Lesson Learned: First red flag.. BOUNCE. That is all. The end.

Stay Classy and Wear your Shoes out in Public..

Until Later..

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  1. Whew chile! LOL I thought I had horrifical dating stories...but that's a doozy! LOL


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