A lil goes a long way

Monday, July 12, 2010

What's up fam? First, thank you to those that read and commented on the blog about me being a Mofo.. I took it down and never want to be reminded of it ever.. that is all.

Moving right along.. this may be a little all over the place but just bear with me..

I was just sitting here thinking about my cumulative dating experiences and overall it f'in sucks but hey, without those experiences, I wouldn't have ish to talk about now would I? But I started to really think about how it seems that there are so many rules to dating nowdays and I like to think I'm an old fashioned type of gal, but apparantly, and according to some mofos ..thats why I remain single.

Now..as much of a mofo as KING Mofo was that broke my heart into a gazillion pieces, he wasn't always the thorn in my azz. (yeah i said it..he wasn't ALWAYS bad).. what you mean Meik?

Well.. I have to give credit where credit is due, he knew how to properly "court" a gal. Granted, he didn't have alot of money, and hell at the time he didn't have a car but lemme break it down to you just HOW he got me.. (yes.. this mofo GOT got..)

1. He listened.. and I don't mean a nod here and there and an uh huh. I mean I told him in passing that my I had broken my bracelet and forgot all about it.. a month later..guess who popped up with a replacement bracelet? yep.. I thought that was a nice gesture.

2. He was interested in what I was doing: at the time I had a tv show on campus that I spent many nights holed up in the studio working on, and he took an interest and helped paint the set, brainstorm, russle up some guests, even sat in as our audience once..and when I was coaching a cheerleading team, as much as he didnt give a hot dayum, he was right there in the stands just cuz he knew it'd mean a lot to me.. its the lil things..

3. He paid me some attention and communicated: yes I admit, I can be quite demanding and require alot of attention IF and WHEN I want to be bothered, but he found the balance of paying me that attention without going overboard or neglecting me.. for example, a simple hey i was just thinking about you phone call or a text message.. again.. it doesn't take but a minute out of ur dayum day .. if u can tweet u can tell a dayum chick hi...can't u?? im just saying..

4. Thoughtfulness goes a long azz way.. I never asked for flowers..EVER.. but for our first few dates..every date, he gave me a rose (now had I been the sentimental type I probably woulda kept the ish..but anyhoo).. and those times when neither one of had a damn ride.. we still managed to have fun, even if it was just sitting and talking. mofos don't talk anymore...they just hunch.

5. He respected me (in the beginning anyway ..we all know how the story ends).. he never pressured me to do anything and respected when I said No..or Im not ready.. seems like nowdays that idea is foreign to mofos.

I could go on and on, but I guess what I'm saying is, I realize that not all men are the same, but for me, I tend to use him as my measuring stick when it comes to being woo'd. It's not rocket science and it really boils down to the little things that go a long way. I don't know.. maybe the days of a guy going the extra mile has died out.. or maybe they just don't do it for me.. who knows? Sometimes I wonder, what makes a guy go out of his way for some and not for others? eh well, im putting too much thought into this.. and ladies, I didn't forget you.. we have to step it up as well.. but once he showed me he was serious about "courting" me, then I was serious about how much I was gonna step ish up. Mofos don't get that just cuz u bought me a dinner don't mean I'm bout to cook you a 5 course meal.. U got to earn that. Unfortunately, no one in my lil bit of dating experience has earned ish but a place in my blog..

Until later..

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  1. Sometimes these love things..these courting things...the level of respect and whatnots we show depend on the right place and time..many times some women meet me the wrong place and time (in my life)...being that I'm single i find myself sometimes only intending folks to have guest appearances in my life..and not be a regular on MY show...this King Mofo is getting more and more intriguing!

  2. The ride thing is killing me, lol, but anyhoo...I have FINALLY learned after this last stint that is it is so up to me in the courting situation. If dude does not want to court me and if the next dude don't and the next dude don't and they just want a piece of the pie, or dang it the whole pie K.I.M. EVENTUALLY someone who fits what I'm looking for and vise versa is gonna show up on the scene. And I've noticed they (men) will treat you the way you let them. If they can get away w/doin whatever w/out spending any cash, or time or whatever it is that is lacking, THEY ARE GOING TO DO IT. Although men are the stronger vessel physically, us women are emotionally. Kay's point of view: Even thought these are grown a** men, we sometimes have to "teach how to treat"....a little training can go a a long way...

  3. Good blog! The little things mean so much! :)


  4. You speak the truth ... I wish more guys would realize that a simple, "How was your day?" - a hug out of the blue for no reason - an unexpected call because he can't sleep and you're on his mind - go much, much further than some flashy thing that's going to end up in the back of my closet until it meets Mr. Dumpster next time I move.... great blog! <3

  5. As much dating and courting as ive done ive learned this is true women do love the little things in life. However we as men really want to woo you because we like you so sometimes we think our pocket books are the answer, a lot of the time we hear the whole "I wanna be spoiled" thing and think thats all you want. However thats a dumb generalization to make that all women want that. I think the best relationship i had was when i had nothing we really had to get down to who we were and just talk and find fun things to do alone and cheaply. Even though i can call her the Queen of "MoFos" i still cherish the fact that all the flash and cash wasnt in the way. Im glad you dont think all men are bad and im glad you shed some light on the mutual aspect of both men and women stepping the courting game up

    like the blog glad im following you on twitter

  6. This is an honest and open entry. I don't think a lot of ladies have been really clear or even aware of why they like some guys and diss others. Thank you for sharing. You're right though, when you're saying positive things there is less to respond to.

    Also, I can tell you why some dudes are willing to do more for some ladies than others. They see more value in a lady they want to be with and less in those they just want to sleep with.

  7. thank u guys for reading and the comments..means alot..
    its a shame tho.. i think the whole art of dating has gone straight to hell in a gasoline handbasket.

  8. I'm 27 and still don't kno what women want. I think I do, but never really kno. No man does. Some women like the 'little things' while some prefer whatever they prefer whenever they prefer it.(O_O). Wait, there's more. Hooold please.

  9. I really just need my attractive, educated sistas to be honest about what they want or desire and stop playing all these maniacal little games that usually end with hurt feelings/heartbreak.

    Men want to woo you but some of you make that so damn hard with your chronic indecisiveness/never-ending attachment to Kang Mofo(who you can't seem to get over, or stop fcuking..yea, I went there).

    Some days yall wanna be chased and others you feel like I'm doin' too much. Sometimes ALL the 'little things' matter and others I'm not doin it big enough for you.

    I mean, seriously, let's be real, there's no hope for a good man to be successful with you if you're heart is schizophrenic or frozen.

    YES, more women need to be OPEN. It's OK. I won't think you're a hoe, skankzoid or a mix of both. Tell ME that you're at least somewhat interested in moving past King Mofo and explain your dating expectations/reservations.

    Yea, I know, most dateable Black men aint sh*t.Cool. This is our reality..but that doesn't make it OK for you villainize ALL Black men, especially those of us who desperately want to connect with you on a romantic level.

    Believe me, good men still exist..you just have to open your eyes long enough to see us.



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