A Grocery Store Tale...

Monday, March 23, 2009

What up fam?

I was reading an article in some magazine about the best places to meet men..and one spot was the grocery store..and you know me...I gots a mofo story just for that particular spot...

Stroll with me down memory lane..I believe it was the summer of 2002...it was blazing hot outside so I decided to run to the store to get some food that I don't have to cook and I had on some cutoff shorts, and a cute lil top..why is this important? I don't know...just painting a visual so hush LOL...

Anyhoo..I am wandering up and down the aisles at the grocery store, with a basket in one hand, running my mouth on my cell phone and totally oblivious to whats going on around me as usual...

I do however notice every aisle I go to this same chocolate brutha is there...mmmk...maybe he can't find what he's looking for...

So I keep on hee hawing on the phone and make my way to the checkout and on out to the car..now..I lived 2 min away from the store (yeah i coulda walked but hell..i said it was hot outside)..

Well, I notice in my rearview mirror the mofo from the grocery store is behind me..so im thinkin..hmm he must live in this apartment complex too..but er umm just in case..imma pull over and check my mail. He does the same thing. I get out. He gets out.

I hang up on whoever I'm talking to cuz this chocolate god in front of me..lawd help me...i normally don't drool over dark skin men but damn. SWEXY ..that's about the best way I can describe him.

He smiles and says.."damn i been trying to get your attention since you was in the store, but you were on the phone.."

Im like hell..u shoulda made me hang that mofo up!

(now..i interrupt our regularly scheduled program here b/c I had a boyfriend at this point..one that I had been with since 1998 so it wasn't no lil fling ya feel me...back to the program)

So we continue to chat and I notice that he has an interesting necklace on...Its a nekkid man and woman intertwined..oh hell hunchin..and all i can do is my infamous blink...blink...blink...

He informs me that he's interested and I come to my senses and tell him I have a boyfriend and this mofo says:



in my most countriest TN/NC accent: DO WHAT???!!!!

He figured, they don't have to know..and the mofo then asks if he can come up to my place cuz all he wants to do is basically re-enact what's on his damn necklace.

lawd help me..im swooning just thinkin bout it...did i mention how sexy he was? lawd, for a minute I thought I was in Sex and the City and someone forgot to tell me...but then I remembered..hell, this is the Queen City and my ice cream is melting in my f'in car...and I have a boyfriend that I love..but he is out of town...but no...that wouldn't be right..or would it??

So being the good girl I am..I politely declined...hell, since I know what I know now about that damn boyfriend of mine, I probably shoulda just done it..LOL.

Lesson Learned: Lawd, I don't damn know...I guess you can meet mofos at the grocery store..just don't let them follow you home..your judgement will be all munked up..ESPECIALLY if he fine as hell..and dayum matter of fact....i might just need to make my way back to that dayum store to see if he'll show up LOL...

Keep it swexxy and swaggerlicious...


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  1. Kay, Meik, Listen, You need to go to HOME DEPOT to meet a real HANDY MAN. They are
    there for fixin-stuff-in-a-serious-way, but...they can be distracted. Go there
    about 5:30 after work. Fine men are waitin
    for you. I mean it.


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