A Reality TV Luv Story...

Posted by ~Meik on
What up Fam?

Ok so I'm being lazy...no mofos to report on in the last couple of days..so I figured..might as well dig in my bag of blogs and pull out one of my favorites.....I know most of you watch the VH1 reality shows...

So I just know that if you are a fan of I Love New York (or not a fan but are familiar with the ish..) then this story will be absolutely hilarious to you..Think back to Season 1..and if you don't recall..then google it LOL...

But to protect the innocent I won't reveal the person's name..but he was on the show....

Once upon a time, our mini luv affair began on myspace...
it started with me requesting him as a friend then he left me some pic comments on how beautiful i am..i asked if sista patterson was bald..and the convo went on from there...he eventually sent me his number..

Ok..so I gave in ..I couldn't resist not calling him..(hmmm I need to give him a fake name ..so we'll call him Reality)....so after I picked myself up off the floor from laughing hysterically I called.

..he then proceeded to put a couple comments on my page like "IF YOU CALL ME BY MY REAL NAME..YOU CAN CALL ME ANYTIME"...

But my favorite one: "IM INPATIENT (yeah in-patient..ignant azz) DON'T KEEP ME HOLDING ON LIKE ENVOGUE..HOLD ON TO YOUR PHONE...LOL..lawd help me..
then the messages just kept coming...so I couldn't stand it...I dialed the number then pushed send...

Reality: I keeps it pop pop poppin like a burger king whopper..what's up pretty girl? Then a string of other phrases that I can't comprehend...

Now..I'm not so sure yet that this is really him cuz u know mofos love to pretend that they are other folks to get some attention...but i digress...

Me: I just keep laughing...I can't even freaking talk...when I can finally breathe I say.."so..why the hot hayle you talk so freaking fast?"

He replies...you just listening slow..im the one with the jiggly bootayyyy...(this should give u a hint on who the hell this is..)

at this point..im like yep..this is that fool..and i just cannot hold a convo...but im so intrigued..i can't freaking hang up..

He asks me what Im up to..we hold the general convo for a sec..before he launches into a speech on WHY HE WAS NOT INVITED TO THE REUNION SHOW..imma hit the highlights for you...

1. It's a conspiracy...VH1 know dayum well he was the star of the show..damn haters.

2. they think he's crazy..but he aint crazy..he just gave america what they wanted...a crazy man on a reality show..plus they did all kinds of tests on all them before the show..wouldn't his craziness show up then?? ( i swear i couldn't even answer him)

3. they trying to keep a brotha down..but that's ok..he aint broke..and he got tons of fans (still clueless??)

4. they only paid them 100 bucks per day they were on the show..and ya'll know he had CLOSE to ship LMAO...(dang..i can't breathe again..whew.. and if u don't get this..then u need to just read it slow....close to ship...slower...cloooooooose tooooo shiiiiiiip)

5. VH1 didn't want the reunion show to be focused around him cuz everyone would want to know where he's been and what he's been doing blah blah...yeah umm ok..

6. they mad cuz he didn't get in the ambulam ...yeah ya'll he said ambulam...when he slid down the stairs...at this point im am having an asthma attack and i ain't got asthma..(now do u know?)

finally after about 10 min of listening i said..um MOFO..is that all you f'in do is talk about yourself?

He said..naw boo..i just gotta get this out..i mean i wanna know all about you cuz you pretty blah blah..ok what u wanna know?

Fool says well..what u rate yourself on a scale of 1-10..i said a 20.

he said..oh hell well maybe i need to move..umm naw bruh stay UP there.

then after a couple more minutes of convo..he says u know boo, you seem like wifey material..you gonna slip up and find yourself as my woman...

i said..ummm well...see..im very selective..

he says..me too..see, i was abused as a child..and i want to be loved..not just give love..i got a lot of love to give..and you seem like you got wifey potential...i wanna bring you up here and take you out on my YATCH. and no i didn't mispell that ish.

blink...

blink...

blink...


anyway...after he dished out a lil more gossip on folks on the show and explained to me what a man servant was..i realized ok...i really can't take anymore..so i told him i had to get ready for work..and he said...well..make sure you holla at me...don't forget about ya mans wanna come see you..so get rid of your FUBU, baby daddy, boyfriend or what else you got..WTF???

now personally..i don't know what the heck a FUBU is..but im assuming i probably dont wanna know....

Needless to say...our phone affair has hit a few intervals and since then, we did a couple of radio interviews together..which one day I'll post the link if a certain radio host sends me the ish but I ain't mentionin no names.....

matter of fact..lemme put that on my list of things to do...i need to call him again...least he keeps me laughing...

Lesson Learned:
hell aint one...just know some of them mofos is crazy on them reality shows and yes..im one of em LOL..


~Meik

7 comments:

Jen said...
February 18, 2009 at 10:19 AM

"Don't keep me holding on like EnVogue??" lmao!

"AMBULAM???" I just peed a little bit...

~Meik said...
February 18, 2009 at 10:29 AM

do i need to send u an ambulam? LMAOOOO

Jen said...
February 20, 2009 at 3:15 PM

You need to write a book. I'm serious. You are SO ferking hilarious!

~Meik said...
February 21, 2009 at 5:47 PM

LMAO..i have one written..a mofo-ette need an agent LOL

Tay said...
February 25, 2009 at 11:31 AM

OMILAWD!!!!! LMAO!!!!!

Tay said...
February 25, 2009 at 11:31 AM

OMILAWD!!!! LMAO!!!!!!

Paula said...
January 20, 2011 at 8:54 AM

YATCH??? Have mercy...

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