A Mofo'n Circle: Stepping Out on Faith Again

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Hey Mofos!

New beginnings are scary, but this one I'm here for.



Now first of all, don’t give me that look, I KNOW I haven't been over here in a while but a sista has been BUSYYYYYY—lemme catch you up real quick like before your judgement goes much further.

I have been writing my fingers off for the National Museum of African American Music—which is set to open in Nashville, TN in 2019—so for now you can hit that follow on all social media sites @TheNMAAM and check out the website www.nmaam.org—we take donations also! I've been turning articles for Entertainment Tonight and ESSENCE and of course WEtv!

Then I have busy filming a new online show that’s exclusive to Suite929 called The Date Sheet that premiered in September.
And then.. well. I'm tired, but I love it!




In a nutshell--Old doors are closing, and new ones are opening.

This blog post is more about nostalgia and coming full circle.

What you mean Meik?

I’m glad you asked.

10 years ago I was in such a rut, after working the morning shift since 2005 aka the overnight shift in television news and finally sliding into a day time shift, I still KNEW that something had to change. I had moved here fleeing King Mofo and all the bad decisions that came along with him. So while sitting at work I would blog and scroll through the Craigslist ads during my shift to stay awake.



I came across an ad for a reality show having auditions in various cities.

I KNOW THIS IS CRAZY but stay with me.

So I kept reading the ad, it said they needed former cheerleaders to train with the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.
Oh SOLD bish, I was all over that!

Cheerleading was my first love and being a DCC was a dream, minus the extra misery and sleep-deprived/drinking too much fat I was carrying around at the time. But I didn’t care! I emailed the casting director and asked what I needed to do since none of the auditions were in my city. She responded fairly quickly and had me put together an audition tape that required me setting up my camcorder in my living room—me sitting in a chair, with her on speaker phone, and me answering her questions. Worst Audition EVER. A couple weeks later, she emails me that I was picked for the show. The network wanted me!



What network? Chile I DO NOT KNOW and I DID NOT CARE!

So that August (I’m old and can’t recall the exact date hell..lemme alone)—I walked into my news director’s office with my head held high and I said, “I need time off or to be let out of my contract because I’m going to be on a reality show!”
After a few confused blinks and a blank stare that lasted for a good 2 minutes, he said “I’ve never had anyone make that request for a reality show, but I think we can let you out of your contract a couple weeks early.”

2 weeks later, I went to the airport—destination unknown. I just had the instructions of pack for 8 weeks, don’t tell anyone where you are going, and be prepared for the time of your life.

Now, in my old age now, I would have had a million and one questions but then, I didn’t even question it. I crammed as much as I could into 2 suitcases, told my family goodbye, got my plane ticket and saw I was headed to Beverly Hills.
BISH WHET?!



I swear I thought I was going to Dallas. I WATCHED MAKING THE TEAM I KNOWWWWW the DCC are in Dallas!

So after a long day of flying, I end up being picked up at the airport by a production assistant who tells me she is from South Carolina or was it Texas? Hell IDK she was telling me she drove her car across the country and I was in awe cuz bish I wasn’t sure we were going to make it on the interstate to our destination with all the knocking and bumping going on under the hood. She drops me off at a hotel that looks nothing like I thought a Beverly Hills hotel would look like and she tells me that I cannot leave my room. They will bring me meals and if I need anything to ONLY call her.
Now. Looking back I probably should have been concerned that I was being treated like a well taken care of hostage but whatever, I had my cell phone so I was good right?

Well after day 1 of gazing out the window and watching TV and pacing the floor and calling my crush and his arse not answering, I thought maybe I have made a mistake. I just quit my damn job and for what?!



Well, day 2 rolls around and the same routine: pacing, meals being brought in, and I’m going crazy.

Day 3—FINALLY FREEDOM! It’s so hush hush—come to the lobby and do not speak to anyone.

We were told to hand over our cell phones. I’m looking around like uhhhh ummmm y'all finna pay the bill or whet?

Well, of course I begged to at least call my parents one last time before all communication was cut off and my mama was NOT at her desk, my dad didn’t answer and I felt like I would never get to talk to them again. Ok hell I’m dramatic.

Our mode of transportation? A school bus.



A bus that takes us to our destination with cameras stuck in our faces filming our reaction—yet we are still not allowed to speak to each other. So now I’m concerned. Um, where is our limo?? Was it stolen? Well, at least I still have our mansion to look forward to!

WRONG.

We pull up to the dust bowl of the dessert—we aren’t in Beverly Hills anymore, we my friends are in Simi Valley—at a camp site. Like a site where you send your kids to stay in cabins and it’s outdoors. A whole lot of outdoors. Like seriously ALL OF THE OUTSIDE. This is like walking up on a cheesy 90s scary movie: Scream: A Cheerleader's Reality or some ish.



There was no mansion. Home for the next few weeks was a cabin filled with 9 other women that I had never met. The bathroom was at least a bajillion feet away—the kitchen was another few feet away, and a workout center was sitting OUTSIDE in the middle of it all. OUTSIDE in the dry arse desert heat. I WANT TO GO HOME. WHO IS GOING TO DO MY HAIR?!



Now that’s all I’m going to tell you about that experience and maybe it’s time I do reveal some show secrets but I won’t. LOL

But here’s the first episode:



When I got home from this show, well, the fame that I thought would come—didn’t. I was asked for an autograph when going for job interviews—but never got the job. I was in a health store looking at cleanses when a lady asked if I’d sign her laxative box. I just… WHY LAWD—I mean I did it..cuz I’m a friendly washed up reality show chick LOL but eventually the money I was paid ran out quick—bills are a mofo and I had to crawl back to television news, which is where I have been the past ten years.



I made the decision this August—10 years from when I walked away the first time—to walk away again. This month, I’m opening the door, slamming it behind me, locking it and throwing away the key.



Basically-- my last day in the newsroom is next Tuesday and I couldn't be more excited!

I was presented with the opportunity to relocate for the same job, but when I took a step back, I realized, this isn't my dream, it's not where my talents are being utilized, and well frankly, it doesn't make me happy at all.

Testimony break:

I had been asking God for years to get me out of this situation, I prayed, cried, screamed, cried, sniffed, snotted, and flung myself to the floor. I sat in the parking lot before my shift one day and I said, "God, I cannot do this anymore" and when I walked in- I was told I was NOT being considered for the executive producer job after being there for 12 years and my options were to move, or go back to the morning shift. I knew at that moment, God had answered me. He gave me a door to walk through and I am RUNNING through it before they chase me down and talk me into staying.



I have grown so much in my freelance writing career—being published in a print issue of EBONY and Sheen Magazines, writing for Entertainment Tonight, ESSENCE, Vanity Fair, JET, WEtv, and more covering events, red carpets, interviewing my favs and yours—WHY would I stay in a job where I’m unhappy and know that I’ve reached the end point? A door closed—I was forced into a corner to make a decision and I think God knew if I wasn’t forced to do it—I would stay and be miserable, not utilizing my skills as a writer.

I would continue being treated as if I just graduated college and couldn’t string two sentences together, I would continue being in a toxic environment where I wasn't growing professionally that had me in tears nearly every single day. I would continue being told that I couldn’t write or couldn’t be trusted with scripts despite the fact I've been in the business for years and having to answer to folks that were in middle school when I started my first news job.



While I can’t say it was ALL bad, I made some life-long friends and discovered me; MEIK. I realized while I may not be the reporter they said I couldn’t be, but I do have some hellified interviewing skills that I learned and nurtured through my side hustle and I learned how to write fast as hell, transcribe, and overall the business of how things work. Most importantly, I learned just how thick my skin truly is and how I am prepared to work with all kinds of personalities and how to manage my time. I learned the art of deadlines and flexibility. I also learned to not let folks walk over me, and to not let other people's insecurities/selfishness talk me out of following my dreams.

So I am stepping out on faith once again and excited about the possibilities that are ahead. I can’t wait. Hell, maybe now I can finally have a normal dating life and find me a hubby-bae. I want y'all to know that I'm okay with my decision, and this is for the best.


I also have peace of mind and the faith to know that where I land next will be fulfilling and allow work-life balance, and more importantly, I'll be using my skills and HAPPY.



That alone makes this journey worth it. For the record, I do have a new gig--I'll tell you more on that another time but no I'm not moving away, at least not right now. Now, I need to find a way to celebrate new avenues to explore! Any ideas?



New beginnings are scary, but necessary.

Stay Tuned.

~Meik

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6 comments

  1. I see great things for you! Hire me when you make it big. LOL

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm proud of you. You are going to be blessed beyond your dreams. You are stepping out on faith and God is going to reward you abundantly!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yaaaassss!!!! So happy for you. Stepping out on faith is a big deal. I wish you all the best with the new gig!!

    ReplyDelete

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