When Mofo'n Matchmaking Goes Wrong

Monday, September 19, 2016

What’s up Mofo-ville?

A couple of housekeeping things to talk about first:

Bloggers we are at the halfway mark for this month so I do hope you have already posted one blog for the #mofobloggerschallenge for September. If you need a reminder: Post 2-3 posts this month to get those creative juices flowing..any topic, just make sure you have a blog to participate cuz nawl you ain’t posting on mine! *I kid—I always welcome guest bloggers*

Secondly, in my quest to leap..no jump.. escape.. hell IDK what the best word is but get the entire hell out of television news sums it up, I have discovered that perhaps it is the name MOFO that can be off-putting..with that said, my @mofochronicles twitter handle will be changing to @meikchronicles in the next few days and eventually this blog will phase into that when I get the time to do it..but don’t look for it anytime soon LOL #cuztrife.

Alright now that we have that taken care of—let’s proceed.

Y’all know I love doing interviews right? I thought this time I’d tell you a story about the time I finally met one of my interviewees face to face and well, let’s just say, it was EVERYTHING but at the same well.. lemme just tell the story and let you judge for yourself.

Who is it Meik?

I’m glad you asked, BUT y’all know I can’t tell you WHO it was, but maybe when I’m old and gray and write a book about it, you’ll find out.

Picture this—I had initially done the interview via phone and we hit it off and made plans to hang out if he was ever in town. Most of the time when folks make these empty plans I just agree knowing I have no plans to leave my couch either. This dude actually came thru so win for him! We hung out, chatted, laughed, and discussed some industry ish.. not on a best friend level or anything… but chile.. the next day.. we had plans to meet up and schedules conflicted so it didn’t happen UNTIL he says he’s at the hotel chilling and I should meet his boy.


Now, *scratches head* you have known me all of 2-3 days and now you want me to meet your boy?

So me being me..asks FUH WHAT? TO INTERVIEW?

He responds with –“or whatever”




Y’all know what is about to happen don’t you? I don’t even have to finish this foolishness.

BUT I’m all about this “try something new, keep an open mind” bull ish lately so I figure, what’s the harm in seeing who his boy is???Because after all, what if this person can set me on the road to TV news freedom or he could be the prince charming I've been waiting for, or better yet, …eh I got nothing else. Needless to say I went.

I get to the hotel and it’s like some secret ops type of ish.. very hush hush.. one text every 10 minutes on where to go once I get there. Everything in my soul is screaming getcho arse back in the car and go home. It is 1 in the dayum morning..WHAT ARE YOU DOING? But me being me, I don’t listen. I even heard my grandma’s voice telling me to get in the car and take it on back to the house, but nope I don’t listen. I hop on the elevator and go up to the top floor..it’s eerie quiet up there. Lawd, am I about to be KILT? I lightly tap on the door.. this fool opens it a lil bit.. I push the door like who the hell is in here? Let me walk on in..see what's goings on..

I see a chick sitting at the table..but I don’t see another dude. Now.. I don’t get down with the lady on lady action but if you do that’s cool but for me and my household HELL NAWL. So he lets me in the door and I look around this big arse suite and I don’t see not a nar nother person in there. Is he trying to hook a threesome up? Cuz nawl.. I’m sure that is NOT in the abstinence rule book that I currently adhere to.. again WHY AM I HERE?

He then says his boy is in the bathroom, he’ll be out in a minute.

Hmmm.. ok.. my first thought is .. does he have bubble guts cuz at this point I’ve been here at least 5 min and he still hasn’t materialized. So I sit and chat with the chick at the table and realize oooooooh she is a groupie… now I’m intrigued. I can’t say that I’ve ever chatted with a groupie whose sole purpose is to hunch a celebrity for the evening.. just as I’m bout to put on my interviewing hat.. 10 min have gone by and the bathroom door opens and a child walks out.




Ok.. he wasn’t a child but he was the size of one. So I just keep on talking because this clearly is not the dude homie wanted me to meet. COULD NOT BE.

Because this is me..

You know it was.

I stand up towering over him..and I’m 5’5 so….. take what you will with that..

Y’all. I just…

I’m just not sure what is happening here or why?! *fights air*

He reaches to shake my hand and I’m a little funny acting when it comes to germs and shaking hands when you just came out the bathroom..nawl bruh. *insert head nod* what up tho?

So we all sit down at the table and chat.. I think dude needs a booster seat cuz without me looking under the table, I’m pretty sure his feet aren’t touching the ground, but he looks like the table is swallowing him up. But, me being the nice person I am, we chat a little bit about his career which by the way I thought he had just started out on the journey since he said he wasn’t making a lot of $$ and then he tells me he’s been doing it for 15 years..hell sir do you work in tv news too? Cuz..

Anyhoo as we are talking I notice my new buddy ole pal has moved onto to canoodling with this groupie chick and it now makes sense why I’m there. I am the “get my boy outta my way so I can get with this chick” card…and since I have no plans to entertain small fry, I do the next best thing.

*yawn* and claim I have to get up early in the mawnin so I must go!

While I think I’m shaking dude off my trail, he flips it and volunteers to walk me to the car. So off we go.. 4’9 (ok I’m exaggerating maybe he was 5 feet tall) and me—looking like I’m walking with my 9 year old son to the car. So I keep telling him it was nice that he offered to walk me to the car, but really I’m LITERALLY a big girl and can make it the last few steps to the car. BUT NO.. NAWLLLLLLL.. He wants to be a gentlemen. Now men, sometimes, just take the hint, be that triflin negro and just go when we say go.. this only makes it harder and you are still gonna get curved.

So we get to the car.. I open my car door.. he leans in like he’s gonna hug my waist.. I pull my best MJ Smooth Criminal lean to dodge it, throw out my hand and say nice to meeeeeet yeeewwwwwwww! BYEEE!!!

Don’t judge me like this. I see you reading this with judgement all in your eyeballs. I SEENT IT.

Just know.. that I was soooo mad at my new celebrity friend over this mess but decided you know what…. Sometimes it’s adventures like these that are needed to shake things up a bit and add a LITTLE …u know lemme just stop..I was mad..for about a day or two lol The end.

Lesson Learned: While this dude may not have turned out to be a love connection, or even a potential interview.. he was really cool— so if he's reading this I do hope he is chuckling.. but the whole incident was hilarious and you know, I think it’s still okay to have an open mind, but—look here—if you just met me… don’t try hooking me up with someone..YOU DO NOT KNOW ME AND THE TYPES OF FOOTBALL PLAYER BUILD TYPE OF MENS I LIKES LOL


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