I believe your grandmother spoke a gem of a statement to you when she advised on what men in general are nowadays seeking from women. Not all men, of course. But a loud mouthed majority. As long as you assure men of what it is and what it never will be, I think you will notice how more and more of us will come at you, correctly. Finally, the culture goes a long way towards how men treat women in the sense of there actually being quite a few women who respond positively to such charming vicissitude. Lol.


Good read. Humorous.

There are some women who smile and laugh at crazy comments dude throw at them. This gives guys the thought that is OK when they approach the next one. Stand your ground and hold true to who u are and what you want from a guy. I've heard some outlandish sh*t myself... all I can do is RME, SMH and walk off... IMO it is not worth my time to even address the BS that throw at me. So be it if I get the "oh it's like that...oh so u just gone walk off" or called stuck up, b*@#!^ .... in my Redman voice, "I'll bee dat" withOUT you.

Very complicated question with many possible answers & scenarios, of which my answers will be far from complete, but suffice it to say: IT'S NOT YOU.
1) You smile. and have big tittays. Far too many of my male brethren think that 1+1=oooohhh and you good to go. I realize that that answer leads into a whole other discussion about why sistas "always looking so mad", but another time.
2)I can't be sure from your pictures, but if you are darker skinned, at least darker skinned than your girls, some dudes seem to pull up some repressed slavery gene that darker skinned ones were breeders while the lighter skinned ones were in the big house & thus had to be treated more respectfully.
3)Now it gets a bit uncomfortable. If you are heavier, again not huge but simply heavier than the girls you hang with, dudes will equate the big girl with the girl who can't keep a steady boyfriend, are thus horny/desperate and will accept any sort of proposal.
4)You are just running across a string of assholes.


-Noel

I truly believe black women are now victims of their own complacency during the 90's and early 2000's - anytime somebody came out and bashed misogyny in hip hop/urban culture in the media, they were met with such overwhelming resistance that they just let it go, this was both men and women.

now in 2013, young black girls don't see what the problem is with misogyny (or they think it's normal), and black women in their 30's and 40's are now all of a sudden feeling disrespected and are fed up.

this mentality may not apply to you individually Shameika Rene, but this is where the comfort with addressing our women in such a way comes from in a lot of my comrades (black men).

interesting standpoint from the men vs women. One of my followers on twitter said she thought it just happened among black men and that black women often times think it's cute. *sideeye* I don't know any that do, but I'm aware there are some folks that suffer from insecurities and low self esteem so they'll take any attention shown their way.. others just say not all men are like that..or maybe it's what you put out into the universe.. and that has to be the dumbest ish I've ever heard.

some dudes seem to pull up some repressed slavery gene that darker skinned ones were breeders while the lighter skinned ones were in the big house & thus had to be treated more respectfully.

Noel, I'm not sure if you had intended for this statement to be funny, but it is. Not funny in a comedic sort of way. But funny in a I had to laugh to keep from crying way.

Willie Lynch was on some Nostradamus type ish, wasn't he?

I do think that if some men see you're single, they equate that with not being able to get anyone/hence being desperate/goin' for anything. It's just dumb. I also think that partly depends on the type of guy you hang out with. In my experience, guys who are more professional *usually* know how to treat a woman. Either way, hold out for someone who respects you. I know I am. Any guy who approaches me that way, I give a serious side eye to and walk away.

Leave it to me to have the crazy other side point of view. I agree with all of the above posters. When I was out there dating, I was often looked at crazy when I approached a sister respectfully. Even had a woman say..."not sire how to take you cause you talked to me this long and aint called me bitch or boo yet"..so blame the ones who smile and think that foolishness is cute. It's gone past women who like bad boys. Now it's women who like guys that act like...worried for my daughters..even more worried for the clowns I have to confront. Your grandmother was right. You don't need anyone bad enough to let them treat you bad.