Red Flag Alert

Monday, December 05, 2011

What’s up Mofoville!

Once again, I decided to venture out into the big ole world of dating...don't look at me like that..I already know I should have left this ish alone.

You ever meet someone that you instinctively KNOW that they aren’t for you and no matter how hard you try to keep an open mind and not judge them right off the bat, it just doesn’t work?

What you mean Meik?

Lemme give you an example. I met this guy a couple of weeks ago while he was working at an event. He seemed to be a really nice guy, very helpful since I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to find publicists and managers, but my eyebrow raised a bit when he escorted me to the bathroom and stood outside the door waiting on me to come out.. But I pushed that *red flag* out of my head.

Don’t judge me just yet.

So fast forward to the end of the event and I’m frustrated, frantic, etc.. And he comes up and asks to exchange info, we do.. I don’t think ish else about it.

The next day..which is a Sunday.. He calls me 4 times and not really to get to know each other, but to just say, hi. Blink. Blink. Another *red flag* that I ignored.
I asked him about what he does full time, and to this day I still don’t know..he couldn’t fully explain what he does, all I got was he worked in advertising. Hmm. Mmk. DOING WHAT? *crickets* hmm mmm.

Monday.. He calls and texts me several times throughout the day, which if I was interested, it might be cute, but its becoming an annoyance, especially since I work in news and have told him what times of the day are the busiest.. He asks if I’d like to go out Saturday.. I said okay, because after all, a girl has to get back into dating right? Then he asks if I am looking to have a family and get married soon or if I’m all about my career? *red flag* do men ask that ish before the first date? I mean at this point my nerves are a lil rattled..

Tuesday.. He tells me how crazy he is about me and sends me pics of himself, requests me on face book and then informs me that he went through ALL of my pics. Now, if you know me, you already know I have over 1000 pics probably on there.. WHO in the right mind has that kind of time? He also asks if I’d like to go to Charleston, SC for the weekend. *red flag*

Wednesday… After a series of ignate texts that I can’t decipher, I just decide I’m too busy at work to even respond to this foolishness. He calls me when I get off work and says he can’t wait to meet my parents and that we should go to the mountains for a romantic getaway. Blink. Blink. Blink. *red flag* I quickly shut that ish down, and he begs and pleads and tells me that if I don’t like that idea, then he’d take me to Las Vegas. Blink. Blink. Blink. I shut that down, then he lays out his plans for our date. 7pm.. A walk in the park. Screeeeeeech.. Slam on the brakes… IT IS DECEMBER MOFO.. IT IS COLD OUTSIDE!!! Anyhow.. Then go get cocktails at Fridays (his words not mine) and then to the movies. Now for me, a first date should not include all this togetherness.. I don’t know if I even want to move past the drinks part let alone spend hours and hours together. So at this point I have had ENUFF.. I ask him what he’s looking for ….are ya’ll ready for this one?

He says, a chick to go out of town with.. That will turn into a friendship that evolves into a relationship then get married and have kids. *RED FLAG!!!!*


Now don’t get me wrong.. I want to get married as much as the next gal, but I’ll be damned if a ninja gonna force me into some ish when I don’t even know them.. So I politely informed him of my plans of moving to Cali as soon as possible and it was pure *crickets* and he stuttered and carried on for a few minutes then got off the phone neverrrrrr to be heard from again..UNTIL the next Monday.. when I get "good morning" text messages. Is he for real right now? Technically he stood me up, (don't matter that I had no intention of going) but the point is.. is this dude like for real for real with this ish?

Lawd, I go from one extreme to the next don’t I?! This is what I get for trying to have an open mind. Never. Again.

Ok moving onto one of my key things that I always preach to ya’ll about.. SCREENING A MOFO..granted I got a lil lax because I haven’t had to do the ish in a while, but thanks to my home girls.. I logged right onto the jail website and BAM!!! Mofo’s mugshot looking right back at me..

What he do Meik?

This ninja here was arrested for writing bad checks.

Now how the hell was he gonna offer to take someone on some vacay type ish? Ninja bye. The scary part .. Is he was doing all this trying to woo me and never once said ish about ever being arrested.

Lesson Learned: STOP IGNORING RED FLAGS! period. the end.

Which brings me to this week’s Social Hour Topic.. If your significant other is whisked off to the “jailhouse” as some country bumpkins call it, are you going to wait for them to get out?? Or you gonna pull a Mya and be Movvvvvinnnnn OOOOnnnnnnn?

I have to say.. I’ll take not waiting on a mofo for 100 Alex.. I’m getting old, my biological clock keeps making strange noises..I don't have time for this ish..not now, not tomorrow, not next year..not ever! Tho I do wonder if any of Conrad Killa Murray’s boo’s and baby mama’s are waiting on him to serve his time..hmmm.. I'm thinking he bout to Bend it like Beckham.. But anyhoo...

So fam, what would you do?

As always, Tune into the Social Hour every Tuesday evening from 7-9p PST just log onto and listen in.. we ‘preciate ya!

Stay Classy!

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  1. CM lol..that's that beyond cray cray type of mess lol. I never knew men acted like that

  2. 2 Concerns....#1 what if he reads this since you are FB friends, and your link is on there, which means he is crazy and might kill you, so delete him as a friend ASAP. #2 If you've been wanting an ipad or something for Christmas, maybe now is the time to get him to write a bad check and buy you one...think about that before you write him off too

  3. Lmao!!! Love it! Least it was just bad checks....times are tough..however...since those damn electronic checks came don't have much time to get $ in the bank.... :/

  4. As a friend, I should NOT say it's been a while since I've read your blog. It has. I'm sorry. I'll do better. At least then, when you move to Southern Cali, I'll have another tour guide. (lol) Nevertheless, great writing. I tell folk all the time, "STOP" signs are big, red and bright for a reason...


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