Purple Rain with Thunder n' Lightning

Posted by ~Meik on

What's happening sweet peas?! First let me start by saying this: IF you have the opportunity to see Prince in concert.. GO!!!! You won't regret it! I am still in shock that I was breathing the same air as his purple badness but that's not the point of this blog.. what happened after the concert is. This is why I should learn to not make eye contact with folks or speak when spoken to.

What you mean Meik?

oooooooh I'm glad you asked!

I went to the concert with two of my gal pals and as we were leaving, what I thought was a sweet 62 year old gentleman (sn: he's white) smiles at us, and of course, we have manners so we smile back.. I'm gonna call him "NYC" ..make it a lil easier..

Now hold on.. put your drink down..this is gonna go fast and I can't be responsible if you choke on whatever's in your red plastic cup..

Good? Ok keep reading..

Mr. NYC says.. "hey, do ya'll like pink?"

Blink blink blink.. now if you know me.. you already know my mind went completely left and I have the "say what now" look on my face until I realize..he has on a pink shirt, with pink cuff links.. OH. he means his outfit..not what's down below. blink.

He even boiled his diamond earrings in water so they'd shine. hey.. don't get mad at me.. I don't make this ish up..that's what his arse told us.. but them thangs was shining like hell.. I'm just saying.

So he informs us that this is his second time seeing Prince and he offers to buy us some tshirts after rambling on and on about how he loves to dance and black women love to see him dance (I swear I think he said that ish for my benefit..cuz I was the only obvious black girl standing there..my one friend can pass either way, and the other girl was white)..


So.. we head to the tshirt table..and everything in my soul is saying DON'T DO IT RECONSIDER..TAKE YO AZZ HOME.. next thing I know.. ole NYC is feeling willy nilly and unbuttoning his shirt.. gray chest hairs swirling all out in the open and he RETCHES down in his MURSE and pulls out some cologne and squirts the ish all over his neck, and probably half of my friend's face..he whips open his wallet to pay for our tshirts..and then he announces "I hope I get something for these $40 tshirts I just bought and I don't mean a thank you"..

Oh gawd..

I'm hyperventilating..and my soul is still screaming.. TAKE YO AZZ HOME.. but the two heffas I'm with have now become buddy buddy with NYC's sidekick that I just noticed was standing there along with 2 other chicks.. geez.. we have a whole lil private party huh?

So we figure..what's the harm in one drink at Mez? Nothing is wrong..specially since he said he'd pay for it LOL..

hey.. don't judge.. you know damn hell well you'd be all about this mofo too.. tho red flags are popping up left and right..

Especially the lil flag when he cracked open his murse and said " hey I got some joints in here..ya wanna smoke?" uh no sir..no ma'am no girl.. no way.

Fast forward to Mez..those heffa bishes sit on the other side of the table so I am the lucky one that gets to sit beside NYC.. so you ALREADY KNOW this ain't even about to go down like it should.

He leans over and asks for some gum.. oh ok..kool so I RETCH in my purse and pull out a stick of gum and hand it to him.. he shakes his head.

Oh..silly me.. so i unwrap it..and try to toss it in his wide open mouth.. and just when I think I'm in the clear....

SCHLLLLLLLLURRRRRRRPPPP..

Yeah.. mouth closed on my finger..sucking it.

omg.

omg.

I can't breathe.

I manage to get my finger back and just as I'm about to get my ass up to flee to the bathroom THIS MOFO unbuttons his shirt even more..informs me that he doesn't wear underwear and reaches over and runs his finger all up under my chin and licks his finger.

*faints* eww. just ewww.

He then jumps up and says..wait.. I swear fo gawd.. I am not making this ish up..

He says: I WANT A MENAGERIE.

blink.
blink.
blink.

hmmm. Now.. I ain't claiming to be a damn genius..but a menagerie is where the hell you keep got dayum animals. The poor dear pointed at the three of us and repeated the ish..MENAGERIE! I HOLLARED. I said ya'll he means ménage à trois and his arse ain't getting that ish from over cheaaaaa..

Two of us make our escape to the bathroom..and I being the country mofo-tastical heffa I can be kicked off my glitter boots and sat my lil self on the sink to drink my margarita as we plotted on how to get out of this situation.. welllllp.. I'm a resourceful gal ya know.. so I showed some chick in the bathroom a pic of my other friend (since the heffa wasn't responding to my text messages of RET TA GO NOW) and finally got her away from NYC..

Funny thing is.. NYC had to leave anyway.. apparently his wife told him to bring his arse home.

Oh and don't you worry.. I washed my hand and face REPEATEDLY until I dang near rubbed the color off..

So the moral of this story is this.. don't talk to strangers or accept gifts like Prince tshirts and drinks.. eh well...maybe that part was worth it? LOL..I blame Prince.. he got mofos thinking ish like this is sexy. that is all.

Until later..

Stay classy!
Meik

8 comments:

Anonymous said...
March 26, 2011 at 7:52 AM

BAHAHAHAHHA! Omg. I am dyyyyyyyyyyying laughing. I swear I need to find NYC & get his digits for you. :)

Anonymous said...
March 26, 2011 at 10:22 AM

EEEWWWW! Is right!!! LMBO@ I blame Prince.. he got mofos thinking ish like this is sexy.

Jon said...
March 26, 2011 at 8:25 PM

Don't blame Prince for you almost getting caught in a menagerie..or a manger or whatever that was gonna be! Too funny! Thanks for sharing!

Anonymous said...
March 26, 2011 at 9:21 PM

I'm wondering if he wanted a 3 some with you and the "fruit fly" that was with him.

Carol-Anne (Use the Good Dishes!) said...
March 26, 2011 at 10:24 PM

You have to be making this up....how did you not just use that soggy finger to poke his eye out?!

~Meik said...
March 26, 2011 at 11:55 PM

LMAO!! Fruit fly.. I think he wanted EVERYONE there in the "menagerie"

@Carol-Anne.. girl I wish I was this creative to make up any of these stories.. these are are all true stories :-/

thank u all for reading!

Christie Brookshire said...
March 28, 2011 at 11:54 AM

ewww. That's just gross. Great story but nasty. At least you scored a t-shirt! haha

Dee said...
March 28, 2011 at 1:57 PM

sounds like granddaddy was out being fass LOL..... hope u enjoyed yourself despite this situation!!!

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