Them Shoes are a MOFO

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

What up fam?
Mofo Chronicles isn't just a blog about everybody and their mammy that I find funny..hell I am able to laugh at myself soooooo I guess I'll share..let's take a walk down memory lane..

Picture this.. the year.. 2009.. Charlotte, NC (sorry I had a Sophia moment from the Golden Girlz)

As some of you may recall.. I used to volunteer at a high school e'ery now and again..and this particular sunny morning I was supposed to be there at 715 (which we already know didn't happen cuz i usually don't get home til about 1030 some nites then im up half the nite f'in with ya'll on facebook and twitter LOL...and not getting to bed til about 2 or 3..) needless to say I had to get my azz up early..

So as Im frantic trying to hurry up and get ready (and still half asleep might i add), I realize I need to wear my black boots to match my outfit and anyone that knows me ..knows dayum well i have boots in every dayum color and a few in the same color just different styles..well my lazy azz has just been tossing the shoes in the closet instead of picking them up and placing them where they now i have like 3 pairs of black boots all laid out beside each other...

So i grab the first pair i see...

Put em on and run the hell out the door..BUT NOT before checking my DISTINGUITIVE SWAG (ok see previous blog on the ignate azz at the dollar general to get that joke) in the mirror ...I got on my skinny jeans and im thinking something aint quite right but i cant put my finger on it but i gotta roll..cuz its already 7:40 and I aint left yet...(yeah im on CP time hell..)..but hey i know im cute and you never know when you might roll up on a sexy azz teacher or parent LOL.. (and oooooh weeee there was a fine football coach that used to roam the halls..wait..lemme come back..i got a lil distracted with my thoughts.. whew chile)

I digress..

Now as I'm walking into the school, I'm thinking...something aint right..I'm walking like I just had an f'in hip replacement or like its out of socket or some ish..and i chalk it up to me joining the gym and working out on the elliptical for 40 minutes... (out of shape..ehhh maybe)

anyway...i finally get situated in the classroom where im supposed to be judging senior projects/presentations (which is a whole nother blog but i aint going into all that)..and as im listening to student number 3... i look down...


I thought I put on my boots with the 3 inch skinny wonder I feel off...I have on my black boots with the 2 inch heel that has a wider heel on it..

So I keep on listening...

Cross my leg..take a sip of water...look down..and nearly spit that ish out all over that student..


how in the hot hayle do i have on my 3 inch skinny heel black boots?! I know i just looked and it wasn't those shoes!


That's cuz I got on one of each!!











All i could do was sit there uncomfortable and pray these students speak faster...
First chance I get I take off to the restroom and into a stall...

Ladies..that aint the spot to go if u tryin to hide your frantically texting as fast as i can...

and one heffa friends tells me "act like u starting a new trend"..i hate her.

So I go back to the classroom and do what any other pretty diva in this situation would do...

LIE LIKE A MOFO...and u know i have plenty of experience listening to mofos...

I tell them folks I gotta go handle some biz at the job and I'll holla...

I couldn't get home fast enough to take these shoes off...

OMG..I don't know ..only me..I hope and pray no one saw this ish...I just dont know what the hell i was thinking..

Then my daddy gonna inform me that maybe Im lacking vitamins and that's why i did the ish...


Lesson Learned:

Wake yo azz up early enuff so you can make sure your ish is right before you leave the house..and if you look in the mirror..DOUBLE CHECK THAT ISH..i knew something was off but ignored it...

The bright side is...least I didn't run into any cuties..

Stay Fabu cuz im trying to ***as i hang my head in pure d-dayum shame*** i guess even the most fabulous of us all have bad days lol..


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  1. LOL! I remember that! ~ Brittany C

  2. This is too funny. Once again you have really out done yourself. You are a brilliant writer and I love reading you blogs.

  3. LOL...Hell naw...I would be willing to DID run into some cuties and if they like me, they look a woman up and down...they saw your 'Shoe Game' and had to call off the Kick Game Army! wonder who won the Competition?!...oh and go back to the Dollar sto and get you some flipflops for trunk emergency use only! cause this WILL happen again!...prolly be one black shoe and one brown next time! Funny as usual..Good writin!

  4. Thank u DeShonda!

    Chris LMAO.. trust me.. all it took was that one time.. I put my shoes in their proper place now so when i grab them.. THEY MATCH! lol..


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