Lies I oh so despise...

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Whats up fam?

I had to blog to get this out...I AM DONE WITH DATING. i cannot take no mo!! I repeat I CANNOT TAKE NO MO.


Well..stroll along with me down memory lane to last month..

I met a guy..and his friend was trying to holla at my problem...they seem cool enough..not really my type of flow..but cool..

My friend finds out later that that fool is he's pushed to the still continue to entertain ..well let's call him "A" tells me he's 33 years old, got a couple of kids, good job..blah blah...but I'm remembering that when I was standing beside him when we met..I was taller than him with heels on..but when I ask him how tall he is..he replies 5'10.
Now fam...I aint the best at math..but how is this possible..I'm 5'5...add a couple inches or three for heels..and I still shouldn't be taller right?

I fast forward to the date..and we meet at a nice spot uptown for dinner (and I realize again..I'm taller than this mofo) keep in mind, I have really bad acid reflux at times and this just so happens to the be a week where its flaring up bad, so I tell the mofo I won't be drinking..
"A" continues to ignore me and say we gonna take shots , we gonna get some goose..on and on..tells the waitress..and at this point im like..FOOL IF U WANT ME TO VOMIT ON U I SUGGEST U TELL HER TO TAKE THAT ISH BACK.

so that's flag number gazillion and one..mofo dont dayum listen.

Gazillion and two..ya'll know i hate when a mofo wears brown and black together..ugh...i cant stand it!

I digress the convo progresses he brings up something or another about people our I ask how old he is again..

Him: "Umm 33, 34"..


Him: "umm you know..i forget sometimes"

blink. blink. blink.

Me: "Lemme see your license.."

Him in a high pitched voice "I dont have it with me".

Me: "well how in the hot hayle u sitting at the bar drinking before i get here then?"

Him: ummmmm....

So eventually the mutha gives me his license..i notice 2 things: DOB 1971 or 72...(which makes his ass way older than he said ) and his height is like 5'7 or 5'8..

Now concern here is fool gonna continue to lie with this ish in my hand and tell me he's 33...again..I aint no mathematical genius but I do know if I was born in 1977 aint no dayum way in hell he 33 if Im about to turn 32.

We head to part 2 of the date..we go to the movies and he keeps talkin about how he loves the EPICENTER (now..folks..this is pronounced EPI-CENTER..not EPIC CENTER as this fool kept calling it)..and at this point im utterly disgusted then i go hide in the bathroom to text my girls to see what i should do next LOL..but I come out and this fool has gotten us seats in the theater where couples can sit together. GAWD WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??!!

So i sit as far away as I can and every few minutes : "You ok? You good? You need anything? then he utters Boo?

I know this mofo did NOT just call me Boo?!!!

Oh i let him have only a way that I can...and inform him my damn mama didn't name me Boo...and not to ask me ish else..

As we walkin back to the car he proceeds to tell me again how Im wifey material and not just a hit and quit it chick..i dont know if i was supposed to say something back but i just blinked..then he says give him a chance cuz he's honest..


We just uncovered all these lieeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzz and you honest?!

Needless to say this mofo got the DELETE button and a deuces cuz im done.


Lesson Learned: just don't damn date. nuff said.

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  1. 1. Wow, you complain a lot!
    2. But dayum, it's kinda sexy.
    3. Really tho, as a single man in the QC, I can attest women here are extra-trife... I don't wanna spoil your hijack your blog so, I'm not going to speak on it...
    4. Anyway, post more & put more pictures up, cuz both are entertaining...

  2. Meik you meet a lot of mofos in QC; you might need to relocate. LOL

  3. I know right? mofos here KILL me..


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