A Mofo'n Anxiety Filled Year of Change

Sunday, December 31, 2017

Hey Mofos! You know I had to come back and close out my triflin year of blogging before we head into 2018! Don't look at me like that.. just don't.

This year has been one filled with anxiety, change, faith, lots of writing, opening up the mind, and rekindling.

What you mean Meik?

I'm so glad you asked and I shan't be going into the one that's none of your biz :)

However let's just take these one by one as lessons that I learned in 2017.

1. Anxiety:
Chile when I tell you working in a toxic environment will have your nerves completely TORE up.. I spent the past few years, including the majority of this one filled with anxiety and dread over having to work 40+ hours where I wasn't happy and was being belittled and treated like an uneducated unexperienced stepchild. I didn't sleep, I just worried, and prayed, and cried and stared into space. But God heard my cries and I was able to be set free! AMEN!

2. Change:
This year was also about changing who I had become. I had let my anxiety from work carry over into my personal life and was destroying relationships with friends and family because I was so miserable. My first name became Smart Ass and while I am a work in progress, I see that the biting tongue I needed in the newsroom to defend myself isn't what I need outchea post news. I also made the decision to change and accept what it is I truly wanted from a career and a relationship, and I'm even thinking of changing the city and state where I live. In a nutshell, I'm starting to find my happy again and I can't even put into words how it feels to start to feel normal again!

I also got my arse in front of the camera on a web series called The Date Sheet. It's unfiltered convo about dating and relationships. You know.. all the ish I have not an ounce of experience in.

3. Faith:
When I made the decision to leave my job, the job I had worked for 12 years-- I initially had not one ounce of a back up plan. I just knew that if God brought me to this, HE would see me through it. The week before I quit, I landed a part time job at a non profit and while it isn't bringing in the big bucks, it is keeping my bills paid and allows me time to write. I know when it's time God will bring the right position/opportunity into my life. I have faith that things will continue to work out.

4. Lots of Writing!
This year I was able to write for some of my dream publications and outlets. I was published in Ebony Magazine (that I did get paid for..now the online ish is another story), and I started writing for Essence, Entertainment Tonight, and Shondaland.com. Yes--THE SHONDALAND that is of THE SHONDA RHIMES. I created my own opportunity and started writing for the National Museum of African American Music and got to cover the Black Music Honors show and interview THE JACKSONS! This year has been a great one for interviews and I can't wait to see what 2018 brings!

5. Opening up the mind:
Chile I am the Queen of NOPE AINT EVAAAAHHH GONNA DO IT. I decided to take a chance and open my mind to the possibilities. I never thought I'd write an essay but yet I wrote one on pumpkin pie for Shondaland. I never thought I'd quit my job without another one lined up, but look when you are fed up you just do it and hope for the best. I never thought I'd hop in the car on a whim and drive to..uhhhh nevermind. But you get the point.

6. Rekindling:
This one ain't your biz lmao!! JK.. I've been able to breathe life back into some friendships that I put on the back burner because I tend to be tunnel vision when it comes to my career/writing. I've also... *signal drops*

These are just some of the lessons that 2017 handed me, and I'm sure 2018 will bring on a whole new set of lessons and hopefully love!

Happy New Year dear Mofos! May your 2018 bring you everything you wish for and nawl I prob still won't blog much LOL! At least I am consistent! :)

Always in Gratitude,

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