What's up Mofos!
Yes I'm back.. ok hell it's been a minute AGAIN but don't judge me. I've got another guest blogger in the house this week and this topic is something WE can ALL learn from.
What's that Meik??
I'm glad you asked. Dating sucks... that sums is up, but as these new-fangled dating rules keep popping up on social media, sometimes it can help to hear from someone that is actually in a relationship that's looking at us poor singles like WTF is y'all doing?
So with that being said.. let me let my sister SP Boogie handle the rest of this blog:
So, let me start this off by saying, I’m by no means a relationship expert, however I am that person that is in a relationship and has been in a relationship for two years now, and counting. Granted we’ve had some struggles and ups and downs, but ALL relationships take work, so I’m going to discuss some of the common mistakes and struggles I see and may have personally experienced in this crazy world of dating.
Ok SP Boogie, let's see where this is going.. lemme put my purse down and sit for a spell.
Texting vs. Phone Calls:
We live in an era where technology and smart phones and tablets are at our fingertips and have virtually made life easier for us to navigate. We all know that texts and any form of written communication can be perceived the wrong way, right? So why not go back to the old fashioned ways of picking up the phone and talking to people?? Texting is cool if you’re at work, or busy doing something else, but how can you truly get to know someone via texting? I think this is the main reason why people are still getting “Catfished,” in 2017. Pick up the phone, talk, send pictures, FaceTime, video chat, do something other than texting.
Catfishing in the year of our Beyonce 2017 is not the biz.. but umm do folks know their phones actually dial out or nawl? The way some of these mofos are set up.....
Having Sex Early vs. Later
Many of us are very sexual creatures, I get it, but when you give up the goodies a little too early, what message is that sending? Now if your only agenda is to find a cut buddy, cool, go for it, but if you’re seeking more, like a relationship, then establish that before you give the goods. If you give the goods too early, you’re basically setting the tone for some men, that, that’s all you are good for. (Side Note: I’m writing this from a female’s perspective, so this blog isn’t for men, basically). Don’t give up the goods and then try to strike up that conversation that starts with, “What are we?” If you’re in your 30s or older, and looking to settle down anyways, make sure the person you are “talking to” is on the same page as you; don’t forget, they say women mature quicker than men, and some of these men are just not ready to settle down, if that’s the case, it’s okay, move on!
U KNOW folks don't hear you SP Boogie..they'd rather spread em and drop it and ride it then discuss relationships the next day and wonder why their feelings got cracked...and they wanna damn everything that mofo touches! Tho...u know what..nevermind. Proceed.
Understand When You Are Being Useful vs. Being Used
Oh shoot..now it's getting good!
What I mean by this is, there’s always a broke down dude, who sees you as his come up. Stay WOKE!! Some men want you for what you can offer them, as in a roof over their head, food on their plate, your car to drive and your money to spend, (tax season is in the air, don’t get duped into letting somebody “flip” your money aka steal your coins). Women are naturally nurturers usually, don’t nurture your way into a headache and an extra expense, just because you don’t want to be alone…it’s not worth it. Best way to identify if you’re being used, is basically look for reciprocity, are you getting back what you’re giving? If you aren’t, it’s time to reevaluate life.
Listen.. PREACH THIS GOOD WORD!
Airing All Your Business Out On Social Media vs. Being Private
For me personally, my relationship is hardly advertised on social media, and I feel like that has helped us maintain our relationship. Now when I did change my relationship status on Facebook just to “In a Relationship,” my inbox started jumping with the questions of who I’m with, do I want to get dinner or get up – nah bruh, I’m good, don’t come around now. I may make mention that I’m in a relationship but I never reveal his name or even tag him in stuff, if you’re my family or friend, then you know who is, and that’s all that I care about knowing. When you expose your business and yourself for the world to know, then you also open yourself up to petty arguments with your significant other, and tramps and hoes to inboxing your significant other to be messy. Private is better, at least until you get that ring, and then you can stunt on them hoes, lol.
STUNT ON THEM HOES! LMAO! Good one SP! Y'all could always share a page tho right? *ducks for cover*
Asking Your Friends For Advice vs. Just Giving It To God
Now, I do ask friends for relationship advice from time to time, not saying it’s a bad thing, but be careful of the advice that isn’t good advice, and that is for all aspects in life. Not everybody wishes you well, and not everybody will agree with what you do. Now some things, you know are just plain out stupid, you know you don’t have any business doing it, and you know your friends are going to look down on you for it, so just shut up or correct the issue and skip the lectures. But the main thing is, not everybody is going to have the same views and perspective on a situation, just pray about it, and use your common sense, but like if it’s a situation where your man is hitting you or something, you tell your girls and your homeboys, so they can go ahead and pull up on the kid and handle that, that’s different.
Pause. It absolutely TEARS my nerves up when folks go from person to person asking advice like they are asking until they find the answer they want you to give them. From now on my answer is, yeah girl, stay with his cheating ass. I mean, that's what you wanna hear right? As for me and my household, we'll take our major issues to the alter and let God work that thang on out.
High Self Esteem & Self Love vs. Low Self Esteem & Self Hate
I’m going to end this with something all humans deal with in some capacity. Often times we give too much of ourselves to people that don’t deserve it, because we struggle with low self-esteem, and self-hate. We try to compensate in other areas to try and mask how we truly feel about ourselves. The most important thing in dating and just in life in general, is to learn to love yourself. How can you expect someone else to love you if you don’t love yourself? I won’t lie and say this comes easily, I struggle with it myself, but once you can start to appreciate yourself, love yourself, and put your own self on a high pedestal, I think love will come to you naturally. Don’t get caught up in someone else and forget that you yourself, are worth it, and you are somebody. Practice by, if someone gives you a compliment, just reply with a “Thank You.” I feel like most people wear their hearts on their sleeves literally, and the opposite sex can pick up on if you are insecure, or if you do have low self-esteem, at least wear a good poker face, keep them guessing – otherwise, a mate can pick up on your insecurities and use you, don’t allow that!
I’ve got more that I want to add and say, but I won’t keep this entry too long, I’ll save it for another time, but I hope this helps someone.
Thank you SP Boogie for your lessons in dating. I know we all need a little help, kick in the flat booty or whatevaahhh to shake some sense into us. I hope folks understand that dating is allegedly supposed to be fun and I blame all of social media for these damn rules and regulations that make it hard for us outchea.. but anyway.. what lessons have you guys learned while dating? Share in the comments..and if you want to guest blog hit me up on Twitter @Mofochronicles!
Always in Gratitude