A Non-Networking Mofo

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

What's happening fam?

I debated on whether or not to share this story, but then decided it may actually help someone.. so buckle up.. here we go..

Stroll with me down memory lane (I won't state the year but let's just say this happened in the past few years)

I get a facebook message:

Dude: Hello, you seem very outspoken and really laid back, maybe we could meet for lunch one day, but it wouldn't be a date, we can just exchange business cards and go from there.

Me: Ok, that seems innocent enough, sure.

Now.. from that exchange, one would think this is just a simple lil networking opportunity right? I even went to my Twitter followers to ask them, should I go, and every last one of you mofos said yes, but you also said it sounds like a date. I even checked with mutual friends to make sure he wasn't crazy as hell. Dayum all of ya.

Antyway, after a couple of rescheduled meetings on my part, we finally meet up for brunch. Since it's a Saturday, I'm pretty well relaxed and just wearing a tank top and jeans, and I felt bad since he was slightly dressed up, but hell, maybe he had been working or something earlier or was going to work..IDK. *shrugs*

The convo is aight, with the "hey how you's and the what to do you do for a living" and then it turns into dating convo, which I'm used to since I write about the ish a lot. Red Flag #1: He tells me he didn't realize that women like to have doors opened for them and chairs pulled out for them ect.. blink blink blink.. Red Flag #2: He tells me that for a first date, he likes to snuggle up on the couch and watch a red box movie.. my response: how you snuggling with someone you just met on a first dayum date? I digress. I inform him that I personally don't like inviting folks to my house until I know them very well and that doesn't happen for awhile especially after some mofo robbed me. *remember this*

So after going back and forth with this nonsense.. still no exchange of biz cards.. and frankly, I'm wondering why the hell we need to exchange them at this point since our careers don't intertwine, he's 10 years younger than me, and well hell I'm just ret to go!

So as we wrap up this non networking arse brunch.. he informs me (like I've just been on a job interview) that he has decided he would like to see me again. I just blinked and said oh. We walk outside.. give an awkward hug, and he tells me: "I'll text you *and then faintly as he walks away*........................................IF I GET BORED.




WTF this mofo just say???? Whew jeeezus take the wheel.. I just jumped in Thriller and went the hell on about my merry lil way..

Hours later.. text messages start to roll in around 11pm..now I can deal with texting but clearly he must have been bored right? So he asks me can he flirt with me...now maybe this is a new thang..but I've never in my whole 25 years of life (just roll with me on that age thang) had someone ASK to flirt.. mmmk. I said.. what do you have to say? He tells me he thinks I'm attractive and would love to come hold me tonight.


Remember I just told his arse hours earlier I don't have mofos over to my house.. so this is yet another red flag, I inform him that I don't know what type of chicks he's used to but I'm not about that ish especially not with him.. (now you let Ray Lavender ask to come over..then I'm opening the door BUCKET NEKKID) lmao.. but fast forward a few days and I am scheduled to work 3am-noon, so I tell e'ryone DONT TEXT OR CALL ME..I WILL BE ASLEEP AT 8PM.

this lil mofo..blew my phone the hell up for hours.. and finally when I called back.. jeezus take this wheel when I tell you what he wanted.....

*whispers* HIM wanted to know if I wanted to go to the movies NEXT WEEKEND.

falkgjf;lgksjadflgkdagklj;lfdj;aldjg;ljdlgjas <--------that's me cursing.

Next I get sick with a sinus infection.. he asks me out for drinks.. I decline since I'm sick and on anti-biotics..
next text and Red Flag: Oh.. so you just out kissing on different men so that's how you got a sinus infection?

*sigh* blink blink blink double blink

I don't have time for this. nope. I don't. I'm TIRED.

The next day: Do you want to meet for drinks?

Now at this point I'm over this negro and I blame myself for not just coming out and telling his arse to kick rocks, but I'm TRYING to be nice to the man-boy.

I decline AGAIN and tell him I'm STILL sick. Few days later..he's asking again to come over..NEGRO NO. NO. And HELL NO. At this point I inform him I'm celibate and you could hear a pin drop. Him: I don't understand how we are supposed to be intimate then.

now what now?

Me: well, we won't be ever..but there are other ways to be intimate with someone..

Him: But I like to touch..

Me: I don't want you touching me.

This ish goes on and on til finally he asks me about that got dayum drink again and I have to tell him that this is my deal breaker, I can't do the not listening ish, and the repeating questions and the just down right annoying.. and I THOUGHT this was supposed to be a networking/biz relationship not a dating one!

So ladies and gents.. the moral of this story is.. be up front about WTF you want and don't want. Looking back, I should have nipped this in the bud from jump, but here I go tryin to be nice, and you see where that got me.. some tangled up nerves and a mofo blog. This is the classic example of when networking on social media goes left field lol.

Stay Classy!

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  1. Why is my eye twitching after reading that nonsense? Some folks are just a little more touched than others.

  2. LMAO whew.. he had my nerves TO' up

  3. OMGosh! That negro would have gotten a good old fashion cussin lol. Some people can't take hints...smh *shrugs*

  4. OMGosh! That negro would have gotten a good old fashion cussin lol. Some people can't take hints...smh *shrugs*

  5. Lmaoooooooooo!!!!! Dude was the very definition of thirsty!!!!!! & CRAZY!!!!!! Lol

  6. Lmaoooooooooo!!!!! Dude was the very definition of thirsty!!!!!! & CRAZY!!!!!! Lol

  7. I can't even say you sent a mixed signal.
    He sounds like he's way young in the mind.
    You might have to tell him about your giant scary rotweiller and your jealous ex boyfriend who's off his meds after getting cut by the panthers..or something.

  8. Champ.. not only was fool young in the mind..HE WAS YOUNG lmaooo at least 10 years younger than me..that is the first mofo'n problem.

  9. Lmao! You meet some interesting characters. I swear. And I just started to read this. lol


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