Grown and Sexy Defined..

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Grown and Sexy.

That’s a phrase I tend to see repeatedly when promoters are trying to pack a venue. However, some folks just don’t seem to understand what the hell that means.

Let’s break this down before we proceed, shall we?

Grown: This term generally means the “older” crowd, meaning the 25 and up sector. This term points to the crowd of people that SHOULD be past the game playing stages, is a little more mature on the maturity scale, and knows how to party without deciding to represent their respective sets by shooting and throwing up the W for west side and ish.

Sexy: Now pay close attention to this one. This term is subject to your discretion, but again, this is my blog so we going with my definition. Sexy is swagger plain and simple.

Now, once a damn ‘gain, I decide to hit the streets and attend two separate events, both touting the Grown and Sexy label. Silly me for assuming and we all know what that means.
I’m going to tell you about two events and granted, one event was held out of town. But the other was here in the Queen City and the end result was the same: some folks just don’t get what Grown and Sexy really is.

Both parties had so much going on that I couldn’t do ish but blink so much my damn contact lenses were dried out, and no matter how many rewetting drops I used, it just didn’t seem to help.

Let me explain what I mean:

At both events, there were women dancing, gyrating and bent over showing off their coochie gear. How did I know? Well, some of the heffas had the audacity to be wearing what looked like a pair of panties with fishnets, stilettos and a cami.

Now don’t get me wrong, they honestly could have forgotten to put their dress on over that ish, but since they didn’t, I’m just gonna go with my own assumption on this and guess that they looked in the mirror and saw nothing wrong.
My question is what kind of friends do you have if they let you go out the house looking like you just got off the stripper pole? (Here’s a helpful hint, you might need some new friends).

I don’t know about ya’ll but if you are going to attend a party, do you show up with your ish hanging out? Then take it a step further and proceed to bend over and dance ass up for the crowd?
Maybe they have some exotic dancer type ish going on in their minds but again, this was supposed to be a grown and sexy affair. I felt like I had just walked onto a Lil Wayne video set.

I really believe that after the age of 25, it’s time to stop shopping in the juniors section at stores and move up to misses, or women’s, whichever fits you. Time to step up, put on your grown-woman clothes and stop showing all your assets in hopes of landing a man.

This really just boils down to one thing: before you step out of the house and decide to ruin everyone’s eyesight for the evening, can you look in the mirror and ask yourself the following questions:

1. Is my ass hanging out for the world to see? If yes, put some damn clothes on.

2. Are my nipples hanging out of my shirt? If yes, cover that ish.

3. Is my size 16-frame looking stuffed in a size 6? If yes, give your little sister her clothes back IMMEDIATELY.

4. Are my goodies on display so men can do a little window-shopping? If yes, put some damn panties on first, and then proceed to dress like you have some sense.

5. Is your goal to find a mofo to climb up behind you and do his business like Mister did to Celie on The Color Purple? If yes, then you just don’t need to even entertain going to a Grown and Sexy event, take yourself to the nearest 21 and up club and have fun.

Lesson Learned: Just because it says Grown and Sexy does not mean show up with your ASSets hanging out. Instead it’s a state of mind, just up your swag game and get your party on! Unless the party calls for you wearing your lingerie, leave the ish at home for your after-the-party booty call.Bottom line: COVER UP. Let these fellas have the opportunity to imagine what you are working with. Nuff said. Please and thanks.

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