Makin eye contact with a mofo is a NO! NO!

Saturday, July 11, 2009

What up fam?!
It's been awhile since I've had a mofo to blog on...and lo and behold I let my mofo guard down last night and committed the ultimate no-no..I made EYE CONTACT...

Lemme 'splain this to ya..mofos circle are like animals..they circle their prey..and when the right moment arises..they pounce...

So here I am minding my own darn biz-nass enjoying some old skool hip hop karaoke..when the fool of the night gets on the mic with a drunken rendition of Elevators by Outkast..and im offended he didn't know the dayum words but I digress...

So as me and my crew giggle at this fool..coupled with the fact that his azz looks like Special Ed..(remember I Got it Made, and I'm the Magnificent?) Ed was cute back then...but this mofo looked like Ed's distant cousin on crack, with a huge azz gap in between his front teeth, and they are buck at that..geeeeeez..

sooo anyhoo..the guy that I was sitting there chatting with decides to go get some fresh air (damn him) and that leaves and open spot next to me...someone walks past and knocks a bottle of water off the lil table in front of me so lean over pick it up and as soon as I sit back up and look eyes are locked into this fool...yes ya' ed him dayum self..

so he slithers on over and sits down..proceeding to spit all in my face and tell me that he makes his own wine and i should come and taste it..cuz its sweet...




no thanks. im good..

soooo after about a 5 min convo of me trying to coax him to go back onstage and get the hell on away from me..the guy comes back to claim his seat..thank gawd...

ooh but it aint over yet i decide to walk around a bit..and as im going thru the crowd..a long skinny arm grabs ed a dayum 'gain..but he's grinding on another chick and tryin to holla at me all at the same i shake my head, yank my arm and keep it moving..

Fast forward to 20 min later..I've relocated to the corner of the bar and am having a convo with a friend..i turn around to sit my drink down and this mofo elbows my girl outta the way and proceeds to slur the words of Biggie's One More Chance (that someone is performing) all the while trying to grind on me and feel on my legs...(gawd im disgusted just thinking about it).. the nicest way possible, I tell him he is a rude a** mofo and he should apologize to my friend...

he just won't stop...he keeps asking me to taste his wine (im soooo gaggin as i type this)

so the only way i can get rid of this lame is to just f'in leave the club..

Lesson Learned: Never make eye contact...a mofo will think you want them..then its hard as hell to shake em..

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