Hey Mofos!

Y'all know I hates me a cheater right? If you forgot, then comb thru the archives on here and you'll remember how this blog even got started! Anyhoo, THEEEEEE Tami Roman is hosting a new VH1 show called "Caught in the Act: Unfaithful" and it's a remix of the classic show "Cheaters" even tho she says it's not THAT show. It has some strong similarities, with a hint of education and hood thrown in for good measure. 

Anyhoo, Tami and I chopped it up on Check the Rhymes, peep it out here:

Have you ever caught someone in the act? Do tell! 

~Meik

Hey Mofoville--I figured it's almost the end of 2017 so I should blow the dust off this blog and pay y'all a visit.



Tis the holiday season and yeah it's the season of love, giving, receiving, sprinkling glitter, and hanging mistletoe, but when it comes to me..the recurring theme is heartbreak.

What you mean Meik?

I'm so glad you asked. Heartache is a mofo, especially at Christmas.

I just told the story on Blerd Dating about getting my marriage proposal dreams shattered on Christmas morning, but this particular story actually goes hand in hand with the 25th anniversary of one of my favorite albums. Stay with me--

Picture it.. the year was 19--errr that doesn't matter, but just know I had met my pretty boy thug life bae my senior year in high school. Yes I said pretty boy thug life. Let me break that down for you: He was a pretty boy with cornrows that wanted to be a damn thug so bad--but..well.. he tried.



Anyway, so we had been dating since Sept I think at this point and I was in love. He was 19 (or so his arse told me at the time and I found out later he LIED--he was 21 or 22) and I thought he was my soulmate. Mind you, he still lived at home with his mama, worked third shift, and during the day played thug life, and would pick me up from school or cheer practice-- cute right? Don't judge.. I was 17!!



We even had a song: "I'll Be There for You/You're All I Need to Get By-- yep. cute.




Anyhoo fast forward to December, I was so excited to FINALLLLLLY have a boyfriend to exchange Christmas gifts with. Lemme 'splain something, Meik Meik hasn't dated a whole lot.. even today, I can count on one hand the number of relationships that I've had, so let me have my joy.



I knew he was a hip hop head so I went to the music store and got him a couple of CD's by his favorite rappers, and well hell I'm old I can't recall what else I got but I do remember those two things!

So on Christmas Eve my mama tells me she needs me to go to Walmart to pick up a few things and so I took my little sister with me. We pull up into the parking lot and I see his car..

Some of y'all gonna know who it is when I describe this ish -- a Geo Prizm with dark arse windows with rims.

I'm like LOOK AT GOD-- I hadn't seen bae ALL DAY and here he is..and there was a parking space right in front of where he parked.

I whip my Buick Skylark into the space (don't even.... just don't.)



As I'm looking down for my purse, I hear my sister gasp and I look up at her like "WTF wrong witchu?"



I follow her gaze and look directly into his car.

Y'all.

*chokes*

Y'all.

My 17 year old heart is breaking all over again.



This light skinned negro and all his fuzzy cornrow'd glory was kissing the hell out of some chick in the front seat of his car. MY SEAT.. HIS LIPS WERE MY LIPS.. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLP



I just....

My sister looked at me.. then at him.. then at me.. then said.. "what do we do?"

Now I'm 6 years older so instead of showing my black arse in front of her, I jumped out of the car and did the only thing I could do....

RAN TO THE PAY PHONE! *for you young folks reading a pay phone is when you put coins into the phone in the telephone booth in order to use it--they are damn near obsolete now*




Yeah I don't get that damn decision either in hindsight but it seemed like a grand idea.

WHO THE F WAS YOU CALLING MEIK?

I am glad you asked. I called my mama dang it. I was hyperventilating and crying and telling her I CANNOT GO INTO WALMART FOR WHATEVAAAHHHH she needed..not while the pieces of my heart are laying on the ground.

So I make the long trek back to the car, trying not to look but I can't NOT look, but when I finally pick my head up to get one more glance, I see him walking towards me with that heffa behind him. THIS MOFO looks like "oh f.. " and I'm looking like "you mofo" and no words are exchanged, he goes into the store and I contemplate whether or not I should throw a rock at his damn window.




Instead I hop in the car and go home where I lock myself in my room and convince myself that I was seeing things.
So after a few hours I call him.

ring.... ring.... ring.....

The phone is picked up.. and I hear a female voice..and it ain't his mama or his sister..

Me: Can I speak to Pretty Boy Thug Life?

Her: He's in the shower can I have him call you back? Is this Shameika?

THIS BISHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *fights air*



Me: *croaks* yessss

Her: Ok girl. I'll tell him.. Bye.

Me: Thank you, bye.

I know what y'all are thinking. This heffa he just slobbed down in the parking lot knows your name and you leave a message all cordial n ish? I told y'all I was naive!

So time goes by.. no phone call. I sit in the dark in my room with the one album that can help me pull through this heartache..



Mary J. Blige's My Life album. ONNNNNNLYYYY MJB knows the pain I'm going through. I went so far as to record this on my answering machine, cuz just in case he called he would KNOWWWWWW my mood:



But the phone never rang.

The only time I moved from that chair in my room was to lean over to my stereo hit play again so the CD would start over.
I'm pretty sure my family was fed up with that album.

Christmas Day comes and I sat there sniffing and snotting not caring one damn about a gift and finally my deddy was pissed.. and swore this negro was the grinch that stole EVERYBODY's Christmas and to this day he still ain't over it. Y'all thought I was petty..

The day after Christmas comes and armed with gift cards and red swollen eyes, I decide it's time to just take those two CD's back to the store and try to move on. BUT not without trying ONE more time to call because ..dumb.

Ring.. ring...ring..

Hello?

DAMMIT.. that same chick is answering the phone!

What do I do?!



Me: Pretty Boy Thug Life there?

Her: Shameika he cannot come to the phone. We are busy.

Then this bish proceeds to quote the lyrics to this song before she hangs up.



click.

Ya'll.... I cannot even listen to this song without getting mad.

If this had happened today... in the year of 2017 I think I might be locked up.

Did she really just do that and what are they busy doing?

So I do what anyone else would do.. go to my cousin's house and get her to call him with me on the other extension-- that blocking heffa still wouldn't give him the phone.

Fast forward to a week later, my phone rings-- answering machine picks up and I hear "Meika, hey, it's me."

I debate, pick it up or let him talk to the answering machine.

Y'all know I picked that phone right up! He apologizes over and over and asks if he can come pick me up and I'm like no but you can come over and explain everything but you can't come in, my deddy don't like you and frankly neither do I.



So he comes over, I go sit in his car while he tells me that this heffa was his ex and she was in town visiting and stayed with him and he didn't know what to do. Um.....

hmmm....

let's see.. you clearly told her you had a girlfriend sooooo.....

I tell him I took his Christmas gift back and he tells me he did the same. WTF.. no this isn't how this works.. YOU GIVE ME MY GIFT. YOU HURT ME!

So I had to ask what it was..and to this day I swear I don't think he bought that ish to begin with. He describes this outfit in great detail and then again in hindsight I'm thinking this was probably an outfit his "ex" had on and he couldn't think of ish else to say.

Long story short.. my dumb arse forgave him and we dated until I skipped off into the sunset and went to college, and we even tried to keep dating my first semester. I knew it was over once I realized all the potential college baes that actually had decent conversation and wanted ish out of life besides a new set of rims.


I knew it was over when I went home for a visit wearing my new Reebok Classics and this fool says "I saw on Maury that only hoes wear those kind of shoes."



Sir YOU are the hoe and we are done. I had found my clapback and embraced my MJB strength, I was gonna get me a college bae and a degree and never think of this mofo again.


Well...enter King Mofo and my life went down the hill after that. So you see, this is why Meik Meik can't date and have nice things.



Lesson Learned: Chile IDK I clearly didn't learn a damn thing cuz I got involved with King Mofo and stayed in that foolishness for 8 years..

Always in Gratitude,
~Meik

*tip toes in* Heyyyyyy Mofo-ville! Let me start this off by saying I hates me a cheater, but we'll come back to that.




I know.. I ain't worth one ounce of ish. You don't have to tell me.. but listen let me explain my absence. A heffa been busy!

I've been writing and writing and ..well you get the point. So with that being said, if you are out and about, pick up the April/May issue of EBONY Magazine--because yours truly has an article in the issue on Global Decor and I'm just sooooo excited about it!




But I know that's not why y'all came over here today to hear me gush about my accomplishments n ish.. let's get to what I need to get off this big arse chest of mine.

What's wrong Meik?

I'm glad you asked! Mofo'n cheaters of a feather flock to dayum gether.

Whatchu mean Meik?

Ooooh stick with me now.. so back in February I decided to be bold and try something new and dip a toe into the dating waters by going to this speed dating event. While I didn't meet a nar soul DURING the event, I did discover that I do like coconut tequila! Judge your mammy not me!



Anyhoo, after the event is when I met Karl. *names have been changed to protect the lying arse cheaters of the world*

Now, mind you I was tipsy and from what I could tell Karl was handsome, tall, gorgeous light brown eyes, long eye lashes, could hold a convo and more importantly--he wanted to call me! *I was excited..most mofos these days just ask for your twitter handle and DM the living shit out of every nerve you have left.*



So lo and behold, he called and we agreed to hang out later that evening. Now mind you--he told me he was only at the event to support his friend who was there selling men's grooming products--he wasn't there to speed date. So we meet up to grab a drink (YES I DRANK ALL DAY DO NOT LOOK AT ME LIKE THIS..I AM STRESSED!) and some ish comes pouring out from one of his female friends that's down to the bar and she is going off about how he used to cheat on his wife with one of her friends.

Yep. Read that line one more time. RED FLAG NUMBER ONE.





So I pull him to the side and ask him the following: Are you married? He says no. Are you divorced? Yes have been for awhile.
Do you have a chick? Girlfriend? A girl that thinks she's your bae? A jumpoff? Any of the above? He says no.
I ask do you live with a chick? Again the answer is No.

Pay attention to these answers y'all.

So I think to myself, "self, you gotta have an open mind, don't cut him off YET just see what happens."

So a couple weeks later, he hits me up to meet again at the same dayum spot..cool cuz it's by my house and apparently close to his. After about 3-4 times of meeting at the same place.. he tells me he's had thoughts of us sleeping together and talking in bed and all this other ish and yet I let RED FLAG NUMBER TWO walk on by like Issac Hayes sang.. and he tells me he doesn't want to see anyone else just me.. but here's the thing my dear beloveds, he tells me this ish on a Friday or Saturday night..then falls off the face of the earth the rest of the week or even two weeks.

Maybe it's the fact I don't have to pay for these drinks.. maybe I like the company..IDK but he's still cool to hang with so we agree to hang out again.

At this point it's April. I'm still on the fence as to whether or not I'm digging him or not because hell, he has YET to take me anywhere else.. or do what he says he's gonna do. I ask him again about having a chick--he claims NOPE.. I don't know WHAT you are talkin about. I just don't like talking on the phone or texting. RED FLAG NUMBER THREE and FOUR and FIVE.





Yet.. guess who decides to meet him down to the bar YET AGAIN? Yep. My dumb arse.. WHY? Well I'm like he buys drinks, and at this point I have YET to celebrate the fact I have an amazing article in a magazine that I've always wanted to write for and again, I like his company. So I get there--and as he is spouting this nonsense about us being exclusive I just keep thinking something ain't clean in the almond milk chile..there's a cashew floating around in it!





I notice that his friends are not with their "main baes" but instead with their "side baes" and as that RED FLAG NUMBER SIX THRU TEN pops up, I start thinking, WHAT IN THE HAYLE IS REALLY GOINGS ON? So I ask him again about this exclusive thing and he gets quiet.. and then the tequila shots must have been a truth serum because I ask him "do you have someone else-- what is with this ghosting for weeks and then hitting me up randomly and not wanting to go anywhere but his damn bar?"

Y'all........



"There was never a right time to tell you this..I do have a girl," Karl mumbles.

Let me tuck my hair behind my ear and scoot in cuz I could swear his black arse just said he has a chick.

Run that by me one mo' time playa..WHET?

He starts stammering and trying to say "I never thought I'd like you but I like you but I just could never find the time to tell you that I have a girl."

So now we go back to day one---so at no point before exchanging info..was that a good time to tell me you have a chick? At no point when I blatantly ASKED you this on day one was there a right time? He keeps trying to explain their on and off again relationship.. but..

He keeps trying to explain to me how I've got it all wrong. Now y'all....

I ask him if he lives with her.. he acts deaf.

Then mumbles sometimes..kinda.. sort of.. well hell, do y'all split the bills or...?

At this moment I realize I've been included in the circle of side baes. I realize that he introduced me to all of his friends and they all KNEW he had a chick at home! Now if you KNOW me.. u KNOW I don't play this mess especially after King Mofo ripped my heart out with his cast of side chick characters running in and out and I damn sure don't appreciate this ninja ASSuming that I'd be okay with being a side chick. In the words of one of my artist friends, "you must have forgot who the F I am."

So.. I grab my purse to head out and he's trying to stand in the way and apologize and tell me that we should hug it out and continue hanging out --uhhhh no.. where is SHE? He's like prob at the house wondering where I am.

SIR WHET?

So if she decides to do a drive by--and roll up here and walks in with your hand on my leg or catching you trying to lick the salt from tequila glass off my face.. then jeeezus y'all I CANNOT FIGHT..IDK WHET WOULD HAVE HAPPENED! I DO NOT DO DRAMA!

He keeps telling me "I don't understand why you are mad and looking at me with disgust..I apologized.

"


If you don't get out of here with this.

Then it hit me.. as I continue waiting for God to bring my husband round here, this foolishness just put me another step closer to finding the one. I wasn't hurt.. I wasn't even that mad, I am glad that I found out he wasn't ish NOW and things never progressed any further. WE shant be communicating any further. EVAHHHH.




Lesson Learned: When you see those red flags... take heed and RUUUUUUUUUUN! While I'm sure some chick would have gladly settled for any parts of him that he could share..I'm not that one. I feel for the girlfriend that was sitting at home wondering where his arse was and I hope she realizes she deserves better. I've been that chick sitting up half the night worrying and wondering and I admit doing drive bys past all my bae's fav places ..WHEN I WAS IN MY 20'S! I wish I would be bothered with that ish now. This is a 'break up' I'll gladly take. BYE MOFO.

Have y'all ever had an experience like this?


Pick up that EBONY Mag..let me know what you think!

~Always in Gratitude,
Meik

Happy New Year fam!

Now most of you have been along for the ride through my downs, and even lower than low dating experiences, notice I didn't say "ups and downs".. and the final straw for me has been getting stood up for the gazillionth time, but that's neither here nor there, I chalk it up to mofos being trife and keep it moving..

But let's go back a little further in my dating life and look at the downfall of it all..

King Mofo and I fall in love, King Mofo and I shack up and play house in a new city like we're crazy, King Mofo eventually cheats, I throw his arse out, King Mofo comes crawling back, I forgive him and give him another chance.

This week on The Social Hour we are discussing whether or not cheaters should get a second chance?

Now if my own situation had worked out for the greater good, I'd say heck yea give folks a second chance.. BUT..this ain't the El Debarge story..so let's continue on with the story shall we...

King Mofo and I move back closer to his fam, King Mofo and I are back in love and all is right with the world allegedly, King Mofo starts acting crazy again, and lo and behold.. his arse is cheating again.. with not one, but at least 2 chicks (that I know of)..

blink.
blink.
blink.

Over 7 years and this is how this negroid does me??!!!...so my answer is simple.. HELL to the MOFO'N NAW.. No second chances will be given over cheaaaa...

Why not Meik?

Well besides the long drawn out saga I simplified for you, and the complete utter disrespect and having my heart ripped out of my chest and tossed back at me..oooh I don't know.. perhaps it's the fact that most cheaters realize they got away with the ish once, so they can do it again and again. I have no tolerance for that ish.

Now I know you're asking well why did you give him a second chance??!!

Simple. I loved him and didn't want to be alone, and besides, I actually felt in my heart of hearts he would change.

Now.. why didn't I give him one more chance after that?

*blank stare* you can't possibly be serious asking me that?!

I do know this, I don't want to ever be the person that I was back then, accepting that the mofo totally disregarded our commitment, disrespected me, lied to me, and made me feel like everything was my fault.. NO THANK YOU.. besides, if they feel the need to cheat, they can kick rocks and keep on keepin on with the heaux they started creeping with. She (or He.. however you get down) can have his trife arse..

It's not worth being in a relationship where the trust is gone, and the constant nagging in the back of your mind wondering if that person is up to no good when they aren't around you, questioning every little thing they say, etc.. that alone is enough to drive someone insane.

Ultimately, it comes down to one thing.. do you respect yourself enough to realize that if he/she didn't love you enough to stay faithful, do you think they will change when you give them a second chance? Granted I am sure there are some cheating arse mofos that allegedly change, I just don't plan on sticking around after they cheat to find out..well unless he's pullin in the Kobe Bryant money LMAO.. jk. kinda.

The road to recovering from a cheater is a long one, trust me..it takes a long time to find yourself and love yourself again, but I do know this..I love me more than some mofo that can easily stick his peen in someone else's cookie box without a second thought about me and my feelings.


So Mofo Chronicle Readers.... do you think cheaters should get a second chance?

Tune into The Social Hour every Tuesday on Urban Soul Radio.. just log onto www.thesocialhr.com 7p to 9p PST or 10p-Midnight EST and call in!

Until later,
Meik..

What's up fam?

This week's topic on The Social Hour (on Urban Soul Radio) poses the question: Are new-age women bred to be anti-relationship?

Of course I thought, why is it that WE as women have to be the anti-relationship mofos? Then I thought, well wait a minute, I'm sure most of us, both women AND men can attest to running like hell away from the commitment chains.. but have you ever thought about WHY?

Of course for some it could be how you were raised, the type of environment you were around, or you just might be trife. On the flip side, it could be a relationship gone all kinds of wrong that sends you running for the hills of solitude with an occasional booty call/jumpoff.

For me, I was never ever ever (u hear me?) EVERRRRRRR getting married.. I haven't witnessed the type of relationships you see on TV, and frankly, I don't know if those exist, so at the age of 10, it was pretty much declared ..I AINT DOING IT. I started to go into explaining why, but I'm not ready to share that but just know the actions of your parents can affect you in so many ways.

ANTYHOO....

I've never had a lot of boyfriends, and never really dated a whole lot, in fact the majority of my 20's were spent with the one man that made me change my views on marriage.. UNTIL.. his arse cheated.. not once.. but twice that I know about and have proof of..

WHAAAATTTTT? Yes I said this mofo cheated. If you have been following my blog, then you already know most of the story..but what you don't know is the story about the first time I caught his arse.

Stroll with me down memory lane, around 2002.. we had been together about 4 or 5 yrs .. at this point we were shacking up, playing house in a city where we didn't know a whole lot of folks, but anyhoo.. I could tell things weren't 100% cuz hell he got on my nerves half the time and we did nothing but argue, but there were some times when he'd tell me he was going to workout at the apartment complex fitness center..and around 11pm...his arse is nowhere to be found, going on trips out of town, mofo'n hangups to the house phone when I answer, hush hush phone convos, ect...but in true "I love he oh so much there's no way he'd lie to me" fashion I chose to ignore the very ish that I KNEW wasn't adding up. Then one day, I'm doing laundry and checking his pockets b/c he had a habit of leaving ish in em..and lo and behold.. a receipt for somewhere that was in the opposite direction of where he told me he was going.. I asked him about it, got some ole bs answer which I accepted and kept in the back of my mind.. next thing that pops up is my best friend hears rumors that he has a jumpoff in Atlanta.. and I notice the same number keeps popping up on our caller id.. but i confront him yet again, and am told that I'm letting people try to break us up.. again, filed to the back of my mind.

Now trust me, I could kick my own arse at this point but hey, I was a dumb arse young girl in love so he could do no wrong. **insert Conrad Murray lip quiver**

Until I talk to a friend and she says check his email. Moi? Be Nosey? NEVERRR ehhh ok.. he went out of town, and I checked and BAM.. evidence right there.. emails back and forth between him and some chick that KNEW he was in a relationship and was so desperate for a man she was kool with being a side piece.. so I called her.. and she confirmed, and we called him and ninja was BUSTED. Needless to say..we broke up.. BUT ole Meik loved that man right down to his dirty draws and gave him another shot..even moved back to the great state of Tennessee for him where we'd spend another couple years together until the verbal abuse set in and the constant lying and eventually I found out he was sleeping with one of my MARRIED sorors that lived in the same apartment complex. (see a previous blog for that story)



Needless to say.. THAT was my final straw and I vowed to never let anyone get close..ever. If you have had your heartbroken then you know what I'm talking about when you put 100% trust in someone and even when you give them a second chance, they stomp on your heart and hand it back to you and dare you to trust them again. THAT mofo is another reason for why I replaced a big ole block of ice in place of my heart..thus making me anti-relationship.

My foray into the dating pool hasn’t been the greatest hence The Mofo Chronicles, but it also appears that women aren’t the only ones that have deep scars making them “anti-relationship”.. I can't tell you the number of men that have resorted to the “non-chasing, non-courting” rule because of ish they’ve been through. They no longer put forth the effort to do ish, but sit their arse there and wait for women to do all the work.

So I stepped away from it all and I decided its best to chuck the deuces before things get too close for comfort and almost 7 years later, I’m still single and look back wondering if I jinxed myself. As I get older, the biological clock is setting in (I'm bout to break the damn thing its ticking so f’n loud) and the thought of growing old alone and never experiencing true unconditional love, without a mofo cheating and lying n ish scares the piss out of me. Seeing one of my best friends marriage up close made me FINALLY realize that, not all marriages or relationships turn out to be drama filled, and that there are couples that truly love each other because they put God first in their relationship.

AH HA! Lightbulb.. THAT is what had been missing all along. God wasn’t a major presence in that raggedy relationship I was in, or any that I had seen, or heard about growing up.. so with that knowledge over the past few years, I can honestly say, I’m not 100% anti-relationship anymore, but I am and will always remain anti-mofo. I'd say the ice is slowly melting away.. but it's a work in progress.

So what makes you anti-relationship?



Tune into The Social Hour EVERY Tuesday from 7-9pm PST! We’ll dig into this topic a little further and take your calls and read your comments on the air! www.thesocialhr.com


Until Later..
Meik