What up Mofos?!
I know .. It’s been forever since I’ve posted, but listen…a sista been busy writing, and writing, and writing some more..and about to start judging competitive cheerleading so..there’s that.
SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Some folks can tear a nerve up like nobody’s business.
What you mean Meik?
I’m glad you asked. You ever been around someone so stupid at times, that their confidence in their logic has you questioning everything you have ever known in life?
Chile.. stroll with me to last week.
Most folks mammys have taught them to drink 7-up, sprite, or gin-gell (ginger ale for the slow folks) when they have an upset stomach or hell trying to fight the bubble guts til you can get home and handle things in peace. I mean, I don’t know about ya’ll but ain’t it rude to blow up a bathroom that ain’t yo own??
Anyhoo so I go to the vending machine because eating this greasy arse pizza has my stomach doing all kinds of back flips and my first attempt was a FAIL. Damn machine took my lil bit of change and said f yo drink. Lawwwwd.. and the stairs leading to the other vending machines.. I might don’t make it. So I decide to put another dollar in and pray that God hears my prayer to deliverT me some gin-gell.
Listen.. TWO GIN-GELLS came out the machine! GLORRRAAYYYYY! So me being the friendly person I am..I offer one of the cans to my “friends.” Why do I have "friends in quotes? Cuz..they ain't really my friends but.. hell it made the story easier to tell.
Y’all..when I tell you that I just… I can’t find the words.. I am still unable..
Patti responds with “Uhhhh that’s not ginger ale..that’s Canada Dry.”
I swear I want to fight her.
Bish whet?!
Y’all I had to look up to the heavens and back at the gin-gell can because Patti said this ish so confidently that I thought maybe I misread the damn ish.
I look down.. can looks like this:
I respond with..hmm that’s weird.. it says ginger ale.. and this heffa says “naw..that’s Canada Dry, and I know ginger ale, that’s not it.”
Jesus. Was she dropped on her head 50’levum times? I mean.. or is it me that’s confused?
So I check the can again, because maybe my stomach hurting is causing my eyeballs to play tricks on me..
Yep.. still says gin-gell
So uhhh you don’t want this? Patti responds with “ewww nooo.. besides you only drink real ginger ale when you are sick, not for fun! Even tho that’s not ginger ale, I’m not a fan of Canada Dry.”
I just…….. IS IT ME? AM I SLOW?
So I ask a couple other people..hell one of em even googled and we all touched and agreed that she indeed is boo boo the mofo’n fool.
I can’t take it.
At this point I just sit down.. drink my gin-gell and rock.. hoping someone or something will hit her in the head.
I guess the lesson here is if you gonna be dumb.. stand in your truth and own it. Bless.
I KNOW y'all have some dumb arses you have come in contact with.. tell me about it in the comments!
Ya'll stay classy and smart!
-Meik
I know .. It’s been forever since I’ve posted, but listen…a sista been busy writing, and writing, and writing some more..and about to start judging competitive cheerleading so..there’s that.
SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Some folks can tear a nerve up like nobody’s business.
What you mean Meik?
I’m glad you asked. You ever been around someone so stupid at times, that their confidence in their logic has you questioning everything you have ever known in life?
Chile.. stroll with me to last week.
Most folks mammys have taught them to drink 7-up, sprite, or gin-gell (ginger ale for the slow folks) when they have an upset stomach or hell trying to fight the bubble guts til you can get home and handle things in peace. I mean, I don’t know about ya’ll but ain’t it rude to blow up a bathroom that ain’t yo own??
Anyhoo so I go to the vending machine because eating this greasy arse pizza has my stomach doing all kinds of back flips and my first attempt was a FAIL. Damn machine took my lil bit of change and said f yo drink. Lawwwwd.. and the stairs leading to the other vending machines.. I might don’t make it. So I decide to put another dollar in and pray that God hears my prayer to deliverT me some gin-gell.
Listen.. TWO GIN-GELLS came out the machine! GLORRRAAYYYYY! So me being the friendly person I am..I offer one of the cans to my “friends.” Why do I have "friends in quotes? Cuz..they ain't really my friends but.. hell it made the story easier to tell.
Y’all..when I tell you that I just… I can’t find the words.. I am still unable..
Patti responds with “Uhhhh that’s not ginger ale..that’s Canada Dry.”
I swear I want to fight her.
Bish whet?!
Y’all I had to look up to the heavens and back at the gin-gell can because Patti said this ish so confidently that I thought maybe I misread the damn ish.
I look down.. can looks like this:
I respond with..hmm that’s weird.. it says ginger ale.. and this heffa says “naw..that’s Canada Dry, and I know ginger ale, that’s not it.”
Jesus. Was she dropped on her head 50’levum times? I mean.. or is it me that’s confused?
So I check the can again, because maybe my stomach hurting is causing my eyeballs to play tricks on me..
Yep.. still says gin-gell
So uhhh you don’t want this? Patti responds with “ewww nooo.. besides you only drink real ginger ale when you are sick, not for fun! Even tho that’s not ginger ale, I’m not a fan of Canada Dry.”
I just…….. IS IT ME? AM I SLOW?
So I ask a couple other people..hell one of em even googled and we all touched and agreed that she indeed is boo boo the mofo’n fool.
I can’t take it.
At this point I just sit down.. drink my gin-gell and rock.. hoping someone or something will hit her in the head.
I guess the lesson here is if you gonna be dumb.. stand in your truth and own it. Bless.
I KNOW y'all have some dumb arses you have come in contact with.. tell me about it in the comments!
Ya'll stay classy and smart!
-Meik
